Passing gas on first date?


#1

This is disgusting, I went on a minidate last night with a guy I met at church. He always sits behind me during Mass on Sundays. He really is not my type but I decided to give this man a chance to prove that maybe he is my type. On our first date, dinner and wine, last night after work, he let one rip! It seemed like it was on purpose too! :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:
I know that is shallow not to go on a second date with someone who does this, but I want to marry a GENTLEMAN! Tell me, am I shallow, or is this truely inappropriate?:confused:


#2

I’m sorry, I don’t mean to make light of the way you are feeling, but I couldn’t help but laugh when I read this! How embarrassing this must have been for you!

To answer your question, yes, I think it is inappropriate - and disgusting to say the least. What was he thinking?!


#3

Considering that one would expect someone to try to impress on the first date, I would be outraged by this. I would run a mile, if this is his idea of trying to win your affections, I’d hate to see what he would do when he’s not trying!
Aaarh! Just a little bit of decorum, goes a long way. No you are not shallow! I find this behaviour disgusting. Call me a prude!


#4

And be thankful he sits *behind *you at Mass and not in front!


#5

Thank the Good Lord! I really thought I was being a bit prudish. I have been actively dating, trying to find the one! I am not getting younger and I waisted way too much time with that loser ex-beau! It was not a super fancy place! The sickest part is he waved his hand around toward my face as to smell the aroma!!! He said that I should stop eating the restaurant veggies if I did not want to smell like that! :eek: :eek:


#6

I don’t think he meant to do it. Things like this can happen to anybody. I know you were embarrassed and so was he. I would say if you are up to for second date to know a bit more about him other than just the “rip” :smiley: , then go for it. :slight_smile:


#7

I am guessing by your lack of the story ending that he didn’t say[sign]I’m sorry![/sign] or [sign]Excuse me! I’m such a pig![/sign]…

Well, that behavior will not get him anywhere. And if I were in your shoes, I would have called him on the behavior. And then would have never had a date with him again! Ewwwwwww.

The guy really needs a clue as obviously no one has let him in on the way to a woman’s heart. And they say you see them at their best on the first date?! My husband of 15 years does not even pass gas around me unless it is a rare accidental slip.

Kelly:D


#8

Well, thank goodness he showed his true colours straight away. I cannot believe any man could say such things when he barely knows you! It’s a little different when you have been together for a while and he says things like that to get a rise out of you, (as my H does sometimes).
I wouldn’t give him a second chance!


#9

Oh, my! The end of the story is even worse. Imagine spending the rest of your life with the slob. Perhaps he is called to the single state of life.

:smiley:


#10

I’m torn on this one. He may have just been nervous, and actually that could happen to anyone, and maybe he just reacted stupidly and has been kicking himself ever since.

On the other hand, my husband didn’t reveal his less-than-appealing personal habits until after we were married, and my friends’ experiences have been the same, so I’m concerned about what else he might think is “funny.”

I’d give him one more chance to see if there’s any hope of a relationship. It could be that the gas story becomes the funny one you tell your grandchildren about your courtship!


#11

Part of me is glad that it was him not me. What if I found out he had IBS or something? I don’t think he deserves a second date for other reasons, nothing personal, just not my type!


#12

If he is not your type, then the “rip” is not a matter anymore. no more date with him. :slight_smile:


#13

Are there any men who want to defend this?
And it was the Rip that put me over the edge!:eek:


#14

what a skank…:eek:

Are you going to have to switch seats at church? Do you think he’s going to hound you for another date?

I’ll tell you, my Dh is a little slobby too and he usually mind tooting in front of me but he NEVER waves his hand through it!!!

Honestly I’ve been riding his back alot lately to be a better example for our kids. I’d hate my 3 year DD to be so crude.


#15

Just reading this makes me gag!!! :eek:

Nope - he would be toast in my book.

Never ever settle in life. Life is too short to live with someone who does not have enough respect for you to not apologize, and NOT make a joke out of it. Especially on a first date.

Ew.

You poor dear - I hope he doesn’t try to ask you out again, that’s always a tough spot.

Keep looking - God’s intended is out there for you!

~Liza


#16

Ok, as a man, I’ll take a shot at defense here…

I would only say that be glad he isn’t afraid to show you what he is really like on the first date.

Better a man who shows you his true side then one who hides who he really is. At least now you know right away the way he acts, and if you don’t like it you won’t need to waste further time. Honesty is better for the both of you.

Not that I am saying we shouldn’t have some sense of manners on our dates though:) I don’t know what my wife would have done had I done the same thing.

Andy


#17

EEEEUWWWWW, EEEEUUUUUW…EEEEUUUWWWW…:eek: http://i13.tinypic.com/kcih4g.gif


#18

Don’t worry about it. You were a bit iffy on the date in the first place. He might have been nervous. He might have done it on purpose, or it might have just been an accident. Let’s just give him the benifit of the doubt, and say he is a gentleman and say accidents happen. You two might not have really been the best fit to be a couple. If there was something to indicate there was, that might stand out a bit more. Or maybe, another time you two might reconsider. Go with your gut, if it says not so much, let it go.


#19

I don’t often hear of people “letting one rip” on purpose. As someone with IBS, I can say it’s not necessarily controllable. I find it so very embarrassing and generally have trouble after dinner. I am so very blessed because my husband is usually the only one around, and he always assures me there’s no reason to be embarrassed.

Of course, I don’t wave my hand around either. I think that’s the real problem here. Is it possible that he was so very embarrassed that he made a dumb, gross joke to laugh it off?


#20

Don’t force yourself. We owe charity and abstinence from superficial judgement, but we don’t owe a relationship to anyone.

You mentioned some illness. The next time something like that happens to you, you can ask the guy if he has it. Or another disease attributable to whatever behaviour he engages in. For the sake of the guy and his future, you might want to tell him it’s grossly inappropriate and totally not funny and then he might rethink his approach to women. I don’t think a guy would be heartbroken to be skipped by a girl just getting to know him. Not the same as getting dumped, at all. It will only give him a swift punch and an impulse to learn - if.

On just a casual note, however, things happen to everyone. Especially those to whom it never happens are likely to be unable to find themselves in a situation when it actually does happen. The reaction may vary from total embarrassing silence to tons of self-blaming. I know it’s hard, but imagine what if it happened to you. If it helps any, I’ve just imagined what if it happened to me and I belong in the never category. I would probably ask pardon and give the lady the option to finish the encounter without a further meeting to follow, saying it never normally happened to me and I perfectly understood why one wouldn’t like to meet up again after that. I would be happy to be the farthest away from there.

However, of course, I don’t find his subsequent behaviour acceptable. If it were a girl, I would distance myself from her and cross her out of the list (you don’t just leave a girl, you have to make sure she gets home safe in most instances, but in an extreme situation perhaps you could finish the meeting early - after all, playing along wouldn’t be very honest). You shouldn’t be afraid to say, “Sir, I find your behaviour unacceptable,” and rise. You don’t owe anyone a romantic meeting just because he asks, either, nor are you obliged to anything a guy expects just because you have accepted the invitation. And you shouldn’t feel bad skipping guys who don’t strike the right chord with you. But I believe I’ve said this somewhere. :wink:

Note that there are women who are not offended by such behaviour and even perhaps some that would find it funny. He’ll be better off with one of them than he would be with you, if that’s not an isolated accident but more of a part of his lifestyle.

So, I’m tormented and I feel bad for saying what I have, but this is the only advice I can give you and I believe it’s as sound as I can make it. You’re in my prayers and I’ll pray that God sends you a gentleman who won’t abuse your kindness or tolerance.

Last but not least, that’s the downside of dating. The whole pressure to accept invitations, to do things on dates because someone expects it, to play along with some unacceptable behaviour… This is why I believe it’s preferable to know someone from other situations, preferably for long enough. It’s impossible to tell that much about a person from just having a couple of cafe or cinema meetings, or a dozen. It’s like online chatting and romancing: you get the vision of the person that he or she creates, you don’t really get to know him or her for real. Just the social face, the frontend.


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