In my heart I would prefer to always receive both the body and blood of Jesus via bread and wine but I struggle with drinking from the cup when someone else has before me.
I have thought of being the very first in line to receive but I think that would make my intentions way to clear to others – not to mention I’d feel guilty for pushing to the front of the line without regard to others.
So - I was thinking of using reverse psychology on myself as I pass on the communion cup. What if I don’t drink from the cup for the sake of those who have to drink after me but especially for the priest or extraordinary minister of Holy Communion who must finish the cup at the end of the communion line? If I don’t drink then that’ll be one less set of germs for the next person to deal with. I would do this if I think I am healthy or not. Is this charity or mind game of false charity?
I’m having difficulty dealing with unsettled feelings I have when I mostly choose to pass the cup. I already know the bread is both body and blood of Jesus. The confusion comes when I consider that the Church is offering both forms. I look at the priest and minister with the cup and think they aren’t standing there for their ego or as church decoration. They are there for a reason and I don’t want my human nature to get in the way of what the Church may be offering me or calling me to.