Passionate Kissing Before Marriage


I guess a lot of people we like or admire might be in Hell. “Narrow road” and “few enter” seem to imply such, but we can always hope they repented.

If one side provides citations and proofs and the other side pure emotionalism and relativism then yes, the discussion is largely useless.

Priests in confessionalss, fortunately, cannot change the Truth.


I thought passionate kissing would be like…french kissing or something.

Anyway, that guy saw the nurse for the first time and basically kissed without her expecting it. (i think they’re still alive) which stirred up some controversy lately. Just thought it was interesting to share, lol :slight_smile:


This “priests are always right” attitude really bothers me.

I mean, not all priests know their theology well or are correct on every topic.

I’ve had priests tell me I shouldn’t bother with weekly confession.

I’ve heard of priests telling people that masturbation is just natural and don’t feel bad about it.

I personally know a priest that says we shouldn’t refer to the blessed sacrament as Jesus.


Yeah…in fairness it’s hardly the best example to bring up. A soldier who basically did what in this day and age could be construed as sexual assault. Kissing someone without their consent.


The idea that a layperson always knows better than the priest and can give blanket advice on what’s a mortal sin for every person on earth bothers me. I think everyone is in agreement here that passionate kissing between an unmarried man and woman is not something people should be doing as a habit as it can get people sexually overexcited (the woman as well as the man). The issue is the degree of sin. Someone here is making the argument that in every single case, one passionate kiss is the equivalent of intentional murder, sinwise. Any rational person is going to raise an eyebrow at that.


I agree that it’s not always a mortal sin. And I’m not claiming laypeople know better than priests in general. But common sense would seem to suggest that this is an activity that you’re better off avoiding until marriage.


I feel like the church doesn’t really micromanage relationships to the point where they would have to tell us if each action is alright or not. The church has already said that lust is wrong and we should not actively seek it (ie occasion of sin). I think that’s all we need imo. If a guy was sexually aroused whenever he kissed his girlfriend, it would do him good to avoid that action until marriage. And if he does it anyway, knowing that it opens the door to lust, he’s at fault. I don’t think passionate kissing in itself is a mortal sin but rather it can be a mortal sin for many couples? It’s silly to act like it’s inherently wrong


I saw an article about that photo not too long ago. The nurse didn’t want to get kissed and a couple of the other photos taken show her pushing him away. Not pulling him in.


ZWho knows. No one has provided a definition of the canonical crime of “passionate kissing” that has been dogmatically declared a sin. I want to see the text of the dogma and the accompanying theological commentary. Is a kiss that lasts more than 5 seconds the cut off? 10 seconds? What role do the hands play? Is lip contact alone sufficient to come under the condemnation of this alleged dogma? Of course the OP has already discussed the issue with priests, but CAFers always know best.
Interesting how posters here are encouraging the OP to SIN by disregarding their local pastors whom they are bound to obey…especially in the context of the confessional.


I honestly thought it was French kissing but I realized some may assume it’s anything more than a peck on the lips. But then you see there’s other problems (making out for 3 seconds or 10 mins)

What his/her priests seem to mean is that the person probably needs to confess it if he had lustful thoughts because of it. That seems perfectly reasonable to me? That was honestly what we were taught by the priests here too.


I gave a citation from Church teaching. You are ignoring that in favor of your own reasoning. Fine, but stop pretending like it’s my words. It is the words of Pope Alexander VII, and Doctor of the Church St. Alphonsus.

It is not a sin to correct an erroneous priest. And you are deliberately misrepresenting me, which is rather dishonest and speaks to your inability to suppprt your position otherwise. A position you refuse to outline because you’d rather play this game of pretending like you don’t know what “passionate kissing” means and attacking a made up straw man.

Unfortunately, you are incorrect. It is inherently wrong.


No I don’t necessarily know what each individual poster means by “passionate kissing”. We’ve seen different definitions on this thread already. One example earlier was a bride and groom exchanging a quick but passionate kiss the moment before they walk down the aisle… you called this a mortal sin. What sort of “passionate kiss” is exchanged in such a scenario in, I’m assuming the foyer, in the moments before the big event? Passionate for sure…intrinsically sexual? Not so sure.

I’m saying the OP, who I believe is a teen, should listen to their priests because little context was provided. What does this devout, practicing Catholic mean by passionate kissing? Heavy “petting” nearly nude in bed… or a lingering, passionate kiss on a public park bench?


If you’re going to use a hypothetical scenario you have to keep it the same throughout the argument. You can’t propose one, take my answer, and then add in adendums and act as though I addressed those addendums.

In the scenario given, at no point was the kiss between the engaged described as “quick”.

It ia simply absurd to say that a person could “make out” with their spouse-to-be and not get any sexual pleasure or enflamed desire out of it.

If the lingering passionate kiss in the park excites sexual pleasure and lust, it is gravely illicit and likely a mortal sin.

Edit: it seems as though the OP used “making out” and not “passionate kissing” which further supports my point. The OP should not listen to those priests on this issue, but rather he should respectfully and gently correct them, and perhaps inform their bishops.


It’s exactly these type of ideas and threads that give Catholicism a bad name and actually drive people away from the church, especially kids. So besides having to constantly worry about doing truly “bad” things, now you have to worry about doing “Good” things, because when it comes down to it, everything that makes you feel good can be a sin? :roll_eyes:


How narrow is the gate, and strait is the way that leadeth to life: and few there are that find it!
Matthew 7: 14

What drives people, especially teens, away from the Church is their own hardness of heart and their love for sin. It is sad that they cannot take up this relatively light burden.


French Kissing is kind of what I meant so yes. And I thank you for your opinion, as this is the whole point of the feed. However, I still see that this slide is at a 50/50 standstill. I do have to say that I wouldn’t notify the bishops over something like this. That’d be silly. But there is a different feeling you get from making out. If it is for the purpose of arousal, then masturbation until you stop would mean the same as you’re about to stop making out, which isn’t true. So thank you for increasing my understanding. It’s appreciated.


Yes, I tend to agree with Doctors of the Church myself, but I’m just watching this little “engagement” take place rather than entering into it. :person_fencing:

I was curious about the Papal Reference… Here it is…


Basically you just want to avoid the near occasion of sin.

All couples are different. For some, passionate kissing leads to sex. For others, they are not aroused by passionate kissing in a way that would lead to sex, or even impure thoughts.

Kissing is not solely sexual. It’s an act of love. A language. It can be an expression of many different emotions… fear, anger, grief.


It is nearly impossible to “make out” with someone and not become sexually aroused. The Church teaches to do so is to engage in gravely illicit behavior. It isn’t my opinion that matters, but God’s opinion, communicated by the Church.

It would be charitable to correct erroneous priests. They have a very heavy burden and their mistakes can lead others into sin and Hell and they will be responsible for those souls. There is nothing silly about it.


Lots of false equivalency here. For many people, especially those young and in love, kissing can be MORE Intimate than sex. It seems this is again much ado about nothing, and trying to add even more guilt or worry to others in my opinion.

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