When we marry, we have to expect a certain level of imperfections and a certain amount of history. However, at what point does a person’s past transgressions mean that they should no longer be considered as a possible spouse?
A few weeks ago, I posted on the forums saying that I would not marry a man who had fathered a child out of wedlock, no matter how good a person he became afterwards. To me, this is a non-negotiable. A few other non-negotiables are
1 Having spent time in jail or being convicted of a felony.
2 Having a previous marriage and divorce.
3 Coercing a former girlfriend to have an abortion.
4 A history of violent behavior.
To me, the presence of any of these things would cause me to immediatly break off the relationship and look for someone else. To me, even if the person repented of these sins and became a wonderful Catholic, the weight of these offenses would simply be overwhelming to a marriage. Jacob Marley said, “I wear the chain I made in life, I forged it link by link and yard by yard.” Even if a person repents of these sins, the stress that these offenses would put on a marriage would simply be too much to bear.
So, what do people think? Does anyone else have a point where a person’s past transgressions make them an unsuitable marriage partner, regardless of their current state of holiness?