I’m convert to Catholicism from evangelical Protestantism, so I can kind of answer questions about those denominations.
And I apologize in advance for being blunt and for not sounding sympathetic. I’m only trying to tell you the truth, and better that you hear it here and now than in the future after you and your man have already tied the knot.
It would be most helpful to know what denomination the man is aspiring to pastor. Or is he planning on starting a non-denominational church?
If he is thinking of a pastorate in almost any of the evangelical churches, he will not be allowed to pursue this if he is married to a non-believer. Read I Timothy 3: 1-13. A reading of both of the letters to Timothy and also the letter to Titus will give you a pretty good idea of the standard to which evangelical pastors and deacons are held.
I’ve been in churches where the behavior of one of his children was enough to get a pastor booted.
It’s possible that your man is reading the book of Hosea and assuming that God is using him and you as a picture to the world of the reconciliation that Christ offers. You might want to read this book (in the Old Testament) and try to determine if perhaps your man sees himself as a modern-day “Hosea.” I think that your man would discover that evangelical seminaries don’t see it the same way.
If he is aspiring to pastor a non-denominational church, it’s possible that he could do this with a non-believing wife. But speaking as a woman, I can assure you that many women who attend Protestant churches seek a role-model in their pastor’s wife. They enjoy attending meetings and studies that she is involved with, and they enjoy having her speak and give testimony at various teas, luncheons, dinners, coffee klatches, potlucks, ladies fellowships and socials, etc. You will have a very difficult time.
I’m guessing that a lot of Christians would not be interested in attending a non-denom with a pastor who can’t even bring his own wife into the faith. It doesn’t bode well for the “business” of building up the church in numbers, which is necessary for a non-denom to survive financially.
IF your man is aspiring to pastor one of the mainline denominations, then forget everything I just said. In many of these denoms, pretty much anything goes. My parents-in-law currently attend a United Methodist Church which is pastored by a woman who has an atheist husband. So if this is the plan, then you and your man will have no trouble at all. In fact, he may be even more appealing to some of these churches, who are looking for ways to prove that they are inclusive, loving, and non-judgemental.