[quote="TheRealJuliane, post:9, topic:222604"]
She also doesn't know much about shoplifters. they don't look into their bags, they just stuff and go. :D
I think it's less scrupulosity than it is mental disorder. Like OCD. A mind that keeps returning to fears/worries/ruminations. She could benefit from some therapy and perhaps medications. Not that she isn't worthwhile the way she is, and she may not want to change, but wow, to go on like that about something that isn't even real...:shrug:
I think it has to be OCD, and even the friend admits it. Trouble is, she has tried medications and not tolerated the side effects. I can relate to that. She uses nutritional and natural remedies for other health conditions, and doesn't want to go to a doctor. But even when she was on meds, it was for depression instead - and she doesn't think the OCD is something that warrants seeking help (more on that below).
Another tricky difficulty is, she's a revert to the Faith, and I have seen this pattern in others and even in myself when I have fallen into sin and then repented - scrupulosity sets in. I guess it's a form of overcompensation or something.
She really sincerely does want to serve God, to see Jesus in others, and so on. She works in healthcare and I admire her service attitude. The trouble is that sometimes it meshes with the OCD and so she thinks she has to protect the entire world from every danger her mind can conceive of. She is hypervigilant, constantly scanning for dangers, :frighten: and extrapolating things into potential dangers that most people wouldn't even think of.
And she believes that this is what God wants her to do - so she doesn't conceptualize any of it as problematic most of the time.
Once in awhile, here lately (due to my nagging and insisting on presenting alternate points of view for her to consider? :o I don't know) she will sometimes say "I just need to let it go/put it in God's hands." Which seems to be a bit of progress.
Added to that, the gal is really devout, almost nunlike, prays a lot, and believes God is telling her what to do at every moment. I don't mean psychotic, though she does say "I heard a 'yes'" or "I'm hearing 'no' on that" or "God told me to . . ." and similar phrases. I think devotion is great, don't get me wrong, but is it possible to obsess about God too much?
She is very intuitive, and sort of a mystic. I feel out of my depth with that, too :ehh: . IMO, she's in need of spiritual direction that she's not getting on a regular basis.
It's hard to get that from priests in our diocese anymore. We used to have an order here but now it's all diocesan priests, who are busy to the max. I have given up on the idea of having a spiritual director myself for that reason, and I miss it.
I question myself, too - is it my place to decide what she needs and play devil's advocate in this way, or am I overstepping myself? :confused: But if I don't, I end up getting angry at her, and she keeps coming back to me as a friend so maybe she desires at some level to seek advice from me, and even values some of it.:shrug:
Many other people in her life just either seem oblivious to it or they blow her off, sometimes rudely. I have been rude in the past, when I have gotten angry, but I have apologized and tried to do better. I am even to the point where I can say "I can't handle this subject, let's not go there, I'm not the one for you to talk about this with." **Sometimes I'm a bit hypervigilant myself **worrying when the next oddball thing is going to suddenly land in the middle of an otherwise peaceful conversation and enjoyable time.
Thank you everyone for letting me vent. I have felt alone in this perplexing situation, or else tempted to talk about this gal with other people, in a way that might be gossipy or get back to my friend, obviously not a good idea. Also thanks for your good advice. Keep it coming!:thumbsup: