Patron saint/Bible passage about self esteem and/or beauty?


#1

I was wondering if there is a patron saint or a Bible passage for self esteem, since it’s something I struggle with. I was also wondering if there was a prayer or saint or passage associated with relationships and love.


#2

Some bible passages in these prayer I wrote when dealing with my own such issues.
The first one contains relevant scriptures

Love others…as yourself

Jesus when You command us to love others as ourselves, You require something more challenging than simply to “love others.” The embedded touchstone in that command is “love your self.” Help us therefore not to be uncharitable to ourselves.

Many people lack proper self-esteem, making it difficult for them to genuinely value others. However, Scripture exhorts, “value yourself at your proper worth. Who can justify a man who runs himself down, or respect a man who despises himself.” [Ecclesiasticus 10:28-29] If we do fail to love ourselves correctly, we cannot accept God’s love. Let us never imagine ourselves hidden from Your mercy: ‘*“Can anyone hide in a dark corner without my seeing him?’ asks the Lord.” [Jeremiah 23-24] *

The concept of rightly loving oneself in order to love others as God’s precious children may be confused with the selfishness that ruins unselfish self-love. It requires us to reject negative self-talk and responses. “If a man is mean to himself, to whom will he be good?” [Ecclesiasticus 14:3].

Growth in Christian self-love is facilitated by “filling your mind with everything that is true, everything that is noble, and everything that is pure and good” [Philippians 4:8] and serving “in works of love.” It is allowing the Spirit to direct your life and then “you will be in no danger of yielding to self-indulgence. What the Spirit brings is...love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, trustfulness, gentleness and self-control.” [Galatians 5:13, 16, 26, 22-23]

Jesus, help us to fittingly love ourselves. You do not wish us to disparage ourselves but to see ourselves as loved, forgiven children of God. A poor self-image may compare to our perception of ‘clouds’. To observers, clouds appear to be impressive, substantial and tangible. However, within themselves the clouds seem damp, insubstantial and misty.

Jesus, let us not belittle ourselves in comparison to others because of our personal uncertainties and inadequacies. Let us live in sincere acceptance of self, that unique gift of Your creative love. help us to see ourselves as loved children of God. Jesus, help me to know that You really love me so that I can love You and love others truly.

Confidence in God’s merciful love

Our God, we praise and thank You who loves each person into existence. I thank You for loving us, loving me.

Our God, You command that I forgive and rightly cherish myself. Like many people in human history, I often find it difficult to sincerely and consistently love the ‘self’ that I find mirrored in my consciousness. I know that You can bring me to appreciate the miracle and privilege of my existence!

How can I refuse to love what God loves! You treasure me, as You love and treasure each unique, human person that You create. Yet I need much grace to love this betrayer of my true being and purpose, myself! I betray Your loving creation of me by failing to be fully ‘the person I am created to be’ , and by failing in gratitude for the gift of myself.

You love each person so much that it led to the incarnation of Your divine Son, and to His redemption of humankind. Jesus is Your response to my betrayal of my destiny and me. Yet frequently I am unconvinced or indifferent before these astounding gifts of divine love for me and for every person!

Please give me grace to value each person, and my own life, as Your beloved and eternal gift. Inspire me with faith and gratitude for the gift of myself, for the lives of dear ones and of all people. Grant that these human gifts are shaped by Your love to become everlasting gifts to You, and through You, eternal gifts to each other person.

Through Jesus, You taught us that cheerful, loving mutual service of others leads to fulfilment of Your creative will. Therefore, give me grace to faithfully say ‘yes’ to Your loving purpose by active respect and charity to others and me. Delight Yourself in me by forming me into the unselfish, joyful, helpful and prayerful person You dreamed me to be for You and others’ souls for time and eternity.


#3

Saint Therese of Lisieux encourages us in our attempts towards holiness in our vocation to love and serve. Of her own response, given in great humility and honesty, she wrote,

“This desire could certainly appear daring if one were to consider how weak and imperfect I was, and how** after seven years in the religious life, I am still weak and imperfec*t. I always feel, however, the same bold confidence of becoming a great saint because **I do not count on my own merits since I have none, but I trust in God who is Virtue and Holiness. God alone, content with my weak efforts, will raise me to Himself and make me a saint, clothing me in His infinite merits*. I didn’t think then that one had to suffer very much to reach sanctity, but God was not long in showing me this was so and in sending me the trials I have already mentioned.” Therese remarked that such holiness may “not be evident to the eyes of mortals.”

We draw hope from this saint of ‘the consecrated ordinary’, whom Pope John Paul 2 declared a Doctor of the Church on October 19, 1997. Many Sisters in her Carmelite community were unaware of the holiness of her ‘ordinary’ deeds of kindness, and doubted that anything worthwhile could appear in her obituary circular. I implore God for ‘everyday’ love and trust such as Therese maintained before temptations of doubt and suffering. Like her, in ordinariness made holy by union with Jesus our God who lived ‘the ordinary life’, we must become shining lights in an era when disbelief, humanism and self-absorption prevail.

We ask God to give us dynamic confidence that holiness is not reserved for a favoured few. As Saint Paul taught, “each soul is God’s favourite” and God desires fulfilment of each person’s call to love God above all and others as self. Every person has a unique vocation and purpose, intended to enrich each other person’s soul for all eternity.
Jesus says, “I tell you solemnly, anyone who does not welcome the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” [Luke18: 17]

Therese of Lisieux elucidates how to live as child before God. “The only way to advance rapidly in the path of love is to always remain very little” “‘Remaining little’ means—to recognise ones nothingness, to await everything from the goodness of God, to avoid being much troubled at our faults; finally, not to be worried about amassing spiritual riches.”

Maybe St Therese can be of inspiration to you


#4

For beauty - study Mother Theresa. Her beauty shone from the INSIDE of her. She was radiant with the love she showed to others, especially the sick and poor of Calcutta.

For goodness’ sake, don’t you understand that SAINTS are not about self-esteem and beauty?? You don’t get to be a saint by worrying about what some other person finds attractive on your outside!!!

:rolleyes:


#5

thanks Trishie! that is very inspiring and helpful, I am going to have to re-read on times when I am feeling down.


#6

You are not helping at all. This girl suffers from a mental health issue and needs encouragement.


#7

She needs tools for getting her thoughts under control.


#8

I agree, psychiatrists are the best people to help her get those tools. :rolleyes:


#9

She isn’t talking about being suicidal or dangerous to anyone or to herself. And nor does she wallow, but simply asks an honest question, which is fair enough. Many if not most have some self esteem issues at least at some time in their lives, which isn’t something most people need a psychiatrist for. It’s a matter of learning that everyone/anyone can feel insecure regarding other people at some time or other, and even chronically for a while. Understanding that others also may, and often do, feel insecure in some way, can be helpful. Even so, many people have parents, friends, spouses, who promote feelings of inferiority and so they have legitimate reasons for having low self-esteem.

A healthy way to overcome poor self esteem is to do more to make others’ lives more pleasant, rather than go to a psychiatrist. This promotes a tendency to be more aware of others and less aware of oneself.

My little son was shy as a toddler. His paternal grandparents were impatient with him and actually said, “if he doesn’t want to talk to us [a toddler!]…then we won’t talk with him.” And shaking a finger at a person may work in some cases but not always. Sometimes it pushes a person deeper into shyness and self doubt.

This person may find it beneficial to read some self-help books…and also to give extra attention to Jesus’ command to love others as you love yourself in the little ways one can.


#10

wow, so someone asks a question about self-esteem and they need a psychiatrist?

hmmm…there must be something to that though…St therese suffered from depression and was allegedly suicidal in her last days.
Mother Theresa had years of spiritual dryness.


#11

St Therese, no not suicidal, but the intensity of her pain made her remark to others around her in her last illness, that it would never be wise to leave medicine unattended near a critically and painfully ill person. It was an observation not an intention. Her last conversations were all recorded by her sisters.

But yes, I felt as you did that given there was nothing in the post to indicate anything other than a simple request, and having been a shy and self-doubting young person :slight_smile: I know low-self esteem is no fun, and it does take a lot of getting over, but can be done as your confidence gradually grows. Part of that is realizing that everyone is vulnerable in some way, so at least some can benefit from our positive feedback, our kind word, our smile.

The following poem “But” was written by a Divine Word Missionary, inspiring us to love of others, even in the smallest gestures of human kindness.

It was only a sunny smile,
And little it cost in the giving;
But it scattered the night
Like morning light,
And made the day worth living.
Through life’s dark warp a woof it wove
In shining colours of hope and love;
And the angels smiled as they watched above,
Yet little it cost in the giving.

It was only a kindly word, a word that was lightly spoken;
But not in vain,
For it stilled the pain
Of a heart that was nearly broken
It strengthened a faith beset with fears,
And groping blindly through mists of tears,
For light to brighten the coming years,
Although it was lightly spoken.

It was only a helping hand
And it seemed of little availing;
But its clasp was warm,
And it saved from harm
A brother whose strength was failing.
Its touch was tender as angels’ wings
But it rolled the stone from the hidden springs
And pointed the way to higher things,
Though it seemed of little availing.

You do know though, hellosunshine, that what we project of ourselves, others instinctively receive. If we project we are miserable and ugly and so on, that’s how we encourage others to see us, but if we project a wholesome sense of self and others, then even if we’re not the most attractive or talented person, somehow we can seem beautiful and great company anyhow.


#12

Favorite of mine, the Proverb quote, once known
as "Who shall find a valiant woman... ?"

It was used as a part of the funeral service for
both my Catholic mother and my Jewish mother-in-law.

Now it's best-known as this translation from Proverbs 31:

10 When one finds a worthy wife, her value is far beyond pearls.
11 Her husband, entrusting his heart to her, has an unfailing prize.
12 She brings him good, and not evil, all the days of her life.
13 She obtains wool and flax and makes cloth with skillful hands.
14 Like merchant ships, she secures her provisions from afar.
15 She rises while it is still night, and distributes food to her household.
16 She picks out a field to purchase; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She is girt about with strength, and sturdy are her arms.
18 She enjoys the success of her dealings; at night her lamp is undimmed.
19 She puts her hands to the distaff, and her fingers ply the spindle.
20 She reaches out her hands to the poor, and extends her arms to the needy.
21 She fears not the snow for her household; all her charges are doubly clothed.
22 She makes her own coverlets; fine linen and purple are her clothing.
23 Her husband is prominent at the city gates as he sits with the elders of the land.
24 She makes garments and sells them, and stocks the merchants with belts.

25 She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs at the days to come.
26 She opens her mouth in wisdom, and on her tongue is kindly counsel.
27 She watches the conduct of her household, and eats not her food in idleness.

28 Her children rise up and praise her; her husband, too, extols her:
29 "Many are the women of proven worth, but you have excelled them all."
30 Charm is deceptive and beauty fleeting; the woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Give her a reward of her labors, and let her works praise her at the city gates.


#13

[quote="Gusbus, post:10, topic:235610"]
wow, so someone asks a question about self-esteem and they need a psychiatrist?

hmmm...there must be something to that though...St therese suffered from depression and was allegedly suicidal in her last days.
Mother Theresa had years of spiritual dryness.

[/quote]

She has made several threads describing her issues and was diagnosed with OCD.


#14

ST Therese had OCD???


#15

she meaning hellosunshine. Isn't that obvious from my post?


#16

[quote="Gusbus, post:10, topic:235610"]
wow, so someone asks a question about self-esteem and they need a psychiatrist?

hmmm...there must be something to that though...St therese suffered from depression and was allegedly suicidal in her last days.
Mother Theresa had years of spiritual dryness.

[/quote]

This is from the OP's multiple other threads. She is deeply insecure and causing alot of pain for herself and her boyfriend. She went nearly comatose and then tried to dress revealing becuase after constant badgering he admitted that upon first sight she was not the prettiest girl he'd ever seen.

The OP is in need of serious mental health services. Simply finding saints to identify with is NOT enough. Certinally, saints can help her establish people to look up to, but it's far from the right advice for her right now.

Her BF must be incredibly patient, becuase I'm surprized with all of this they're still together...with just what she sais in posts it seems like a doomed relationship.


#17

I don’t know if you’re trying to help or not, but your comment is hurtful. I am currently working with a therapist to get my life and relationship in order. I don’t think it’s doomed if there is love. I only asked for advice, not for someone to disparage me or my relationship.


#18

[quote="purplesunshine, post:16, topic:235610"]
This is from the OP's multiple other threads. She is deeply insecure and causing alot of pain for herself and her boyfriend. She went nearly comatose and then tried to dress revealing becuase after constant badgering he admitted that upon first sight she was not the prettiest girl he'd ever seen.

The OP is in need of serious mental health services. Simply finding saints to identify with is NOT enough. Certinally, saints can help her establish people to look up to, but it's far from the right advice for her right now.

Her BF must be incredibly patient, becuase I'm surprized with all of this they're still together...with just what she sais in posts it seems like a doomed relationship.

[/quote]

And I'm not trying to push him away. I'm trying to repair our issues; that's the reason I turned to Catholic forums. But clearly that was something of a mistake.


#19

[quote="hellosunshine, post:17, topic:235610"]
I don't know if you're trying to help or not, but your comment is hurtful. I am currently working with a therapist to get my life and relationship in order. I don't think it's doomed if there is love. I only asked for advice, not for someone to disparage me or my relationship.

[/quote]

Why should I take you saying my comment is hurtful seriously...you flipped out after harassing your boyfriend.

It's not doomed if there is love, but it's doomed as you are in your current state. I'm not disparaging you, so much as recounting the story we've heard 100 times on CAF over the 10 years it's been running. Without thinking hard I can think of half a dozen posters with the same question as you and none of it ended well. I'm just telling it like it is, which is all I ever do

And I'm not trying to push him away. I'm trying to repair our issues; that's the reason I turned to Catholic forums. But clearly that was something of a mistake.

Being realistic is NOT a mistake. Your relationship is at a VERY high danger of failing becuase of YOUR actions. Weither or not you do it on purpose or becuase of some psycological conditon dosn't really matter in the end. Therepy alone may not be enough, you need time to heal, much of which you CANNOT do with a boyfriend. You are at a steep disadvantage, and there are two ways of looking at it. Getting more attached at this point seems like it could send you into a near-sucidal spiral if he tells you he wants to take a break or needs weekeds alone without you. That is not helthy no matter how much you're trying to work at it. (If he feels bad and sticks around not wanting to, it's called codependency and a reason for an annulment)

Dating is preperation to see if you want to marry. And you need time to heal and grow...not pe in a position to decide marriage.


#20

With all respect to you hellosunshine, I think you need to focus more on who you are and your real life relationships than seek out advice online.


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