Paying for daughter’s birth control


#1

Is it a grave sin to pay for daughter’s birth control?


#2

Yes. It’s mortally sinful to assist another in committing mortal sin.


#3

Yes. Participating in her sin.


#4

Are we talking paying for the Pill for a chaste young woman with hormone imbalance?
That would be morally justifiable.
Although I have a professional beef with the lack of research into the causes of hormonal imbalances , or with giving treatments that are only bandaids and mask the symptoms.


#5

Same. Meant to edit to add that info, but was sidetracked on another thread :roll_eyes:


#6

It is a sin to cooperate in the sin of another in a material way.

See the fonts of morality and principle of double effect.


#7


#8

It is not a sin to give your daughter money. She has responsibility for her spending.


#9

Complicated.

Catholic Answers Radio, which has segments on uploaded to YouTube, answered a caller who had a friend whose wife was taking birth control. Now, the radio hosts said that they could still be intimate because it was her sin, and not being intimate might place a great burden on the marriage. Don’t quote me on this.

So let’s say she was using it for hormone imbalances, and then started to have sex outside of marriage. Refusing to pay would be harmful to her health. Refusing to pay could also be harmful to the relationship and potential faith reconciliation.

In Australia, birth control is subsidised and very cheap. Many teenagers can pay for it themselves with their pocket money. Should pocket money be stopped because they are paying for it? Again, it is complicated.

A bit off the way side but this fits IMHO:

A father approaches a rabbi, as his daughter is about to marry a non-jewish man. He gets him to go to talk to his daughter and persuade her not to do it. The rabbi goes and meets with the daughter, and she says why does he care all of the sudden now about who I marry and my faith? The rabbi doesn’t respond and leaves her home. The father seeks out the rabbi and the rabbi basically agrees with her. If it was important she marry a Jew, the father should have done more to educate her on her faith.

Source: My Jewish friend, Rachel.

If she is taking it to not get pregnant and have sex outside of marriage, how has she gotten to this point?


#10

I suspect you might need to expand on what “pay for” means.

@BlackFriar has a nice little scenario he’s described in the past about dad slipping a few condoms into dear daughter’s handbag before she goes out on a date, “just in case”. [Note: context here is not marriage, but rather a circumstance entailing unplanned sex and thus risk of pregnancy outside the proper environment.] He might like to contribute his thoughts here.


#11

While true, that wasn’t the question.


#12

We can quote the Vademecum for Confessors on this. But the entire document and context should be read and such action should be under the guidance of a
Confessor. It may be permissible to have relations, if all the criteria are met from the guidance document.

Maybe, maybe not. The girl could have a choice to pay her own way or follow parents rules. And “hormone imbalances” may or may not be serious. Usually they aren’t.

Actually it is not complicated at all. First, pocket money wasn’t the question. Second the morality of giving an allowance which may be spent on something immoral is easily determined with the fonts of morality, the principle of double effect, etc.


#13

I would not give her money for it.

Firstly, you should educate her how estrogenes impact her body and all the possible side effects (weight gain, enlarge breast, head aches and thrombosis to name a few…). There are alternatives for a heavy period.

Secondly, if she takes the pill as a contraceptive method (nearly „fail proof“ - the high numbers of abortions dispite wide availability prove otherwise) you should have a chat with her about sex.
The teachings of the church are not to everyones liking especially when you‘re young but you should try to reason with her.

It would save her a lot of heartache and regret later on.

Take it from someone who had to learn this the hard way as a young „know it all“ in a “everbody does it“ society.


#14

That is grossly unfair to the parents, given that some of us listen to all the good advice from our parents on sex and other subjects, and then go off and do the prohibited thing anyway. It’s called the foolishness and stupidity of youth. Would you ask the father of the Prodigal Son how exactly his kid got to the point of going off and wasting his inheritance on wine, women and song? Especially when dad raised 2 sons presumably the same way and the “good son” is back at home doing all the things a son should do?

However, I think if you have to involve your parents in an issue like this, you’re probably too immature to be even considering the moral choice.


#15

BC is $4 per month from WalMart. I’d imagine she can find $4 in the sofa cushions.


#16

Perhaps you might find out the medical reason the doctor prescribed them. I’m not a prirst


#17

Speak for yourself. I know plenty of women who have severe migraines linked to their menstrual cycle and thus their hormones, and I am one of them. Try calling into work 2-3 times a work sick because you have a severe migraine.

I have to disagree. Many young people are not educated in the matters of their faith—Catholic or otherwise. I know young Jewish women who go to a seminary, where they learn all about their faith, laws, practices, etc. for about 1-2 years prior to going to university. They understand their faith, they get it.

Many young people, myself included, never got this level of education from their Catholic kindergartens, schools, Sunday school, or parish. At most it is ad-hoc, a couple of seminars here and there.

So surprise, surprise, when young people decide contrary to the tenets of the faith.

Parents do bear responsibility in educating their children in matters of the faith. I raised this because many parents don’t always make that a large priority and then are upset when children don’t make the “obvious” choice.


#18

It may or may not be the parents’ “fault”. My comment is directed towards the presumption that when you see a kid doing something you think is bad, you automatically just assume 'bad parenting". Sure, there are bad parents out there who don’t teach their kids or set a bad example. There are also plenty of good parents out there with rebellious kids.

I hid my own “rebellions” a great deal because I wanted to live my own life (which was immoral in certain areas) without a bunch of judgmental people criticizing my parents, who at that point in life had enough problems, because my father was seriously physically ill and had become partially disabled. I did not appreciate anyone criticizing my parents, including my peers, as I loved my parents - I just thought at that point their moral teachings on sex were from some other era that had nothing to do with being a young person in the last part of the 20th century.

Obviously if the kid is still a minor living at home and discussing her wish to use birth control with her parents, this is the point where they need to step in and give her a lecture. By the time this came up for me, I was of legal age and not living at home for 9 months out of the year. Believe me, I had gotten plenty of lectures and teachings when I was living at home. I chose to set them aside. My choice. Parents were not responsible for it.


#19

I have severe menstrual migraines and have since I was 15. And other associates period issues. So yes, I do know what I am talking about. And there are other ways to treat these things. Doctors are quick to jump to “the pill” when other methods will also work.

While unpleasant, PMS and PDD are not serious. As opposed to, say, cancer.

Also I said “usually aren’t”, I didn’t say “never”. If someone has a legitimate need, it is fine to use hormonal pills to treat them. I see too many young women get on the pill for convenience citing acne or “cramps”. It got fashionable to do this in the 90s. There are legitimate uses for it, but like many medications in the US I am of the opinion it is over prescribed.


#20

Depends what you consider “serious”. Menstrual migraines, endometriosis, etc. may not be fatal, but they can be debilitating.

I agree bc is overprescribed. However, as a teenager, my choices for endometriosis treatment (discovered using NaPro technology) were birth control, ignoring it and using long term narcotics, or surgery. Luckily, and generously, my parents allowed me to have surgery.

I was missing school and miserable for up to two weeks per month. I consider that “serious”.


DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.