Paying for reunion


#1

I have ten brothers and sisters, last week I sent an email out to all of them to chip in for plane tickets and hotel cost our Mom and Dad to attend the upcoming wedding of my sister’s daughter. They live in the great state of Texas and we kids are spread out all over the US
To make a long story short, two of my sisters said yes (one being the mother of the bride) and the rest have either not responded or three have rather rudely said to kiss off.
My mother just turned 80, last week and really wants to go because of her age this will probably be the last chance to see everybody before she goes to the next life.
My dad is unpleasant at best, but he is still Dad to all of us. I don’t really get along with dad myself, but I feel that family over rules.
Does anyone else out there relate and if so how can one fix this situation?


#2

It is my expereince that you cannot fix it.


It may be an issue of funds. Are all your brothers and sisters going to this wedding of your niece? If not, they may not be inclined to help fund others going, even mom and dad.


**Some may not have responded for other reasons. Maybe they didn’t like your plans or the way you worded it or maybe they are waiting to see if they can afford it. Maybe they think you’re being rather high-handed about this. Sibling rivalry doesn’t always stop when they become adults.:wink: **


Give a call and say very nice, “I know dad can be a pain, but they’re still our parents and that’s not mom’s fault. This could be the last time we all have a chance to get together before one of them is gone forever. And sister X, mother of the bride, would be so happy to see all her family there supporting this new marriage and sharing in her joy for her dd. If you can’t afford it, we certainly understand though and hope you can still make it yourself.”


And then accept whatever they say and leave it at that. If they pay - great, if they come - great, if they do neither - that’s their issue to fix, not yours.


If these issues weren’t resolved by the time grandchildren are old enough to be getting married, I wouldn’t hold out for it to happen between now and the wedding.


#3

Why don’t you just have the reunion in the parent’s town?

They won’t have to travel at all, and can stay in their own house.

Everyone else can travel there, they either show up or they don’t.


#4

I don’t know if you asked for a specific amount or not, but I think asking for “whatever they can give” is usually a better approach. Usually when we’re in financial binds and need to go in on a gift or whatever, I feel much more comfortable when I’m told what the total cost is, how many are contributing, and then am trusted to divide on my own and come up with as much as I can. Usually in this situation with so many people some will give a little more to make up for those who cannot. I suppose the problem is who would make up the difference if you don’t in fact get enough money. Are you planning to send them regardless of the help you’ll get?


#5

A true paradox.
I wish things were different but, your right I think it’s just sad that families don’t always stick together anymore. Now-a-days society with all its techno gadgetry wonders life is much less civilized that in the days of Jesus.


#6

you can’t fix it, it is not your problem to fix if your siblings have a problem with their relationship with their father.

what you can do is call Southwest, who has very low senior citizen fares to and from most Texas destinations, and who treats elderly or disabled travelers very well. Whether or not other siblings attend the wedding is their problem, not yours, and not the bride’s or her parents.


#7

Okay, I guess we will all meet up in heaven, eventually. It sort of is a problem though, you know from a quality of life aspect.


#8

I am sorry for your family situation and will pray for you. I respectfully disagree with you about families “not sticking together anymore”. There have been family members treating one another horribly since Cain and Abel. The times when Christ walked the earth were no different. King Herod had his own son murdered. I am not saying this to get you down, but to hopefully help you realize that you are not alone in your situation.

I am guessing this has been going on in your family for some time. You probably had a pretty good idea that your siblings were not going to be enthusiastic about chipping in for the tickets, you have known them your whole life. Pray for them, then pray for yourself that you can accept them for their shortcomings without getting upset when these situations arise.

I hope it is a nice wedding and that your parents can go. I also hope there are no hard feelings between the siblings. God bless.


#9

thanks
there is not any hard feelings, there are no feelings at all
signed,
the me generation


#10

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