(PE) premature ejaculation, okay to get married (advice needed)


#1

Greetings all people, friends and scholars
I have a young friend who has PE (premature ejaculation) and I do not have the personal experience to solve all aspects of this kind of thing, or part of it anyway. strictly speaking, he said he thinks he has it (PE) but he’s not 100% sure. although he said he dreamt something impure (unwillingly) and it came out (if you know what i mean) almost immediately. he has a dilemma: he doesn’t know if he should find a girlfirend and get married, but he’d like to do so.

  1. is it morally okay for him to get a girl friend, if he has or strongly thinks he has this condition? he regards it as a defect that might render him unsuitable for a relationship.
  2. if he does find a girlfirend, should he tell the girlfriend he thinks he has this problem, or keep it a secret? it may effect the happiness of the marriage in the future.
  3. and what can he do (in line with church teachings) to alleviate the problem, in the future if he gets married.

much help appreciated. i do have my own opinion but i’d like to get other opinions too.
Emil


#2

Nocturnal emissions are a normal, non-sinful part of puberty.

The only way for someone to know about the other thing is to be engaged in fornication, in which case your friend should get to confession ASAP.


#3

Depends on what you mean by girlfriend. If you mean getting to know a girl for the purposes of contemplating marriage, then yes, he can have a girlfriend.

If you mean someone he can canoodle with, then no.


#4

Such is not a “premature ejaculation”.

If a nocturnal emission happens in a dream. One simply does not think about it when one is a wake - tis nature taking its course.

If it such happens and one wakes - turn ones attention simply to something else and again do not give it thought. Do not consent to such or return willingly in ones thoughts. Simply go on with your day.


#5

Excellent. I learned a new phrase.


#6

yes, he wants to court a girlfriend and get married (pure intentions). he used to be a sinner though and he says he has PE (says he strongly thinks this is true) from the past. he thinks maybe it is not good to get married if he has this problem. but he wants to ge t married . awaiting some asnwers for my qs. thx.

  1. is it morally okay for him to get a girl friend, if he has or strongly thinks he has this condition? he regards it as a defect that might render him unsuitable for a relationship.
  2. if he does find a girlfirend, should he tell the girlfriend he thinks he has this problem, or keep it a secret? it may effect the happiness of the marriage in the future.
  3. and what can he do (in line with church teachings) to alleviate the problem, in the future if he gets married.

#7

Sounds like a perfectly normal boy. No problems. Yes, he should get a girlfriend. They will work thinks out just fine.

No, he shouldn’t tell her that he thinks he has a problem, because he does not have a problem. He is just worried about it embarrassing him. All boys go through these concerns. Very normal.


#8

I agree with the others. It is perfectly natural. Moreover the more sexual experience one has, the longer one tends to be able to last. It is quite an overwhelming experience at first and so it is natural to be over rather quickly in the beginning.


#9

Almost every man is born with premature ejaculation, so having it is perfectly normal to start with. Controlling ejaculation is something you have to learn just as you had to learn to control your bladder as a child. We have been taught to control our bladders but no one teaches us how to control ejaculation.

The American Academy of Family Physicians confirms that: Behavioral methods are helpful for more than 95 percent of men who have premature ejaculation. So, if you have tried exercises and they have not helped it is because they have not been explained properly to you. Many of the treatment programs offered online have not been written by professionals.

Do not waste time or money on sprays, vitamins, herbs, dietary supplements or drugs. This is a learning problem and these things will not help you learn to control ejaculation any more than they can help you to learn to speak another language.

There are a lot of high-priced programs advertised online but all you need is the information explained by a doctor and sex therapist that has been used successfully around the world for more than 32 years.

It is called “Lasting Longer: The Treatment Program for Premature Ejaculation” by Dr. Sy Silverberg M.D.

Visit the website for free tips on dealing with premature ejaculation.

sextherapy-prematureejaculation.com


#10

Hi
I have a young friend who has PE (premature ejaculation) . he hasn’t tested himself , but he once was a sinner and it used to come out maybe wihin 2 min, or even 1 min (he would masturbate). he is requesting my help and he has this dilemma: he doesn’t know if he should find a girlfirend and get married, but he’d like to do so.

  1. is it morally okay for him to get a girl friend (of course leave intimacy until after married), if he has this condition? he regards it as a defect that might render him unsuitable for a relationship.
  2. if he does find a girlfirend, should he tell the girlfriend he has this problem, or keep it a secret? it may effect the happiness of the marriage in the future.
  3. and what can he do (in line with church teachings) to alleviate the problem, in the future if he gets married.

much help appreciated.


#11

I suggest your friend seek medical advise.


#12

As long as he is capable of consummating a marriage, (and able to consent to an exclusive, permanent marriage that is open to life) he is capable of marrying.

It won’t render him unsuitable for a relationship, assuming he is capable of marrying, and therefore dating is as moral for him as it is for anyone else who is free to find a wife.

If he reaches a point in the relationship where he is discussing marriage with a young lady, he should inform her of his medical issue. Otherwise he is not obligated to mention it unless he wants to.

He can consult an qualified urologist, ideally one who will respect that as a Catholic, your friend cannot participate in any medical tests that require him to masturbate. If his primary care doctor is a faithful Catholic, he might be able to get a reliable referral, or he could ask other Catholic men he knows if they have a urologist they trust. (If asking friends for a doctor recommendation, there is no need to mention why he needs a urologist, and frankly I suspect most won’t ask).


#13

The situation he describes isn’t the same as marital relations and not a sufficient criteria for him to decide against marriage or to decide he has a medical problem.
However if the condition is genuine it can, in any case, be treated.


#14

Someone once told me back when I was a teenager, that the key to lasting longer was to think about something else, I realize this may be hard to do for someone just starting out, but I would recommend it if you have this problem, as it can lead to problems with keeping a girlfriend in the long term.

I think nocturnal emissions, (what I believe the OP is asking about) are kind of strange, I know most people say its a natural thing, but its still a sexual thing too, why would our bodies, while being asleep perform a sexual act? the more I think about it, it truly seems our bodies and minds were literally hard-wired to sin!


#15

Don’t encourage this guy. This same thread has been posted 3 times now already.


#16

#17

/QUOTE]

I don’t know the biological causes of PE or nocturnal emissions (which are 2 separate things).

But I can tell you that nocturnal emissions are not sinful.IMO, it shows our bodies are so sinful, even when we are asleep and unconscious, our bodies and minds are still sinning on their own, by having some kind of sexual dreams, and causing nocturnal emissions…Our minds and bodies are doing this ON THEIR OWN, so I think this overwhelmingly shows we ARE hardwired for sin, being that we do it even if we are unconscious, and have no control over what our bodies/ minds are up to.
[/quote]


#18

But it is not sinful to ejaculate per se, even if one is single. I do not believe that you can sin without consent and while sleeping, you’re obviously not consenting. Our bodies may indeed be “hardwired” to have sex, but having sex isn’t a sin per se either. :shrug:


#19

don’t know why others can see that i posted this a few times but it doesn’t show up on my end. just one thread for it shows up to me.


#20

Because a moderator merged the three threads. I think you’re likely trolling and they should have all been completely removed.


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