peer pressure


#1

Ok, so I was talking to a girl in my class about prom and how my boy is coming up for it and she started asking me what my after prom plans were. I said “Sleep!” because I know I’ll be exhausted, and he’ll be too (he lives really far away from me) and I’m not into the drinking and party scene. She goes, “no you won’t” and starts making drinking motions with her hands. I say to her, “I don’t really like drinking” and she says, “well you’ve never been drunk”.

She’s not the only one whose done this, everyone is telling me that I’m so naive and that I need to get drunk because it’s “fun”. Well, I plan on drinking when I’m old enough, or if I’m in Europe studying, but only in moderation and for cultural reasons (being Italian and German, it’s in my DNA, lol). I have had wine, but only at special occasions and naturally the Eucharist does not count, as it is the Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity of our Savior.

I don’t understand it. I’ve seen people get crazy drunk, know people who’ve made mistakes, know people who lost best friends to drunken accidents and I also have my faith, my duty to my parents and my integrity to keep up. And they think I’m naive?

These are the same kids who say, “Don’t preach to me, my life is my business” yet they think it’s OK to tell me how to live mine?

Why is there so much pressure to get drunk? “Hey, let’s look stupid, it’s so cool?” I actually want to remember my prom night, it is my senior prom and I never get to see my boyfriend because he lives so far away.


#2

Coming from a person who likes to drink in moderation in moderation (:p), you shouldn’t drink just because someone’s insisting and those kids who are pressuring you into it apparently themselves shouldn’t drink. Peer pressure can go play on the railway track anyway. :stuck_out_tongue:


#3

There is so much peer pressure because stupid people who are doing immoral things always know, deep down, that they shouldn’t be doing what they are doing. People like you who are mature, think about your actions, and hold a moral line make them look bad and they know it. They can’t truly believe the line about how everybody does it and resistance is too hard to be realistic if there in someone in their midst who doesn’t do it and who does resist. They are trying to tear you down to preserve their own self-images. Bravo to you for not giving in. You have reminded me of one of the many reasons I hated high school so much. :frowning:


#4

I was just going to say that. So two votes for this opinion! Except I didn’t hate high school.


#5

**Exactly!!!

Peer pressure is there for that purpose only. If something was truly good, fun, and moral, no one would have to be pressured into it!!!

Good for you for upholding your morals in this culture. I was not Catholic until a few years ago so can relate to those who are pressuring you. I would have been one of them:o. I just couldn’t see how NOT drinking myself into oblivion and making really stupid mistakes could be fun:rolleyes:.

So please, from someone who has been on both sides (and very much prefers the moral one) don’t give in. Just keep being a great example that it CAN be done. You have no idea who you might be influencing.

Have fun at your prom!!! You will be so glad you can actually remember it.

malia
**


#6

I’m really glad for you, that you recognize this peer pressure for what it is. It sounds like even though you resent the fact that people try to pressure you into this kind of foolishness, it doesn’t present a temptation to you at all. I’m with you. I never understood how people could think that getting drunk is “fun”. They look very silly and make bad choices under the influence–why on earth would we want to do that to ourselves? Teens who drink unlawfully are often insecure or self-medicating… remember that they need your prayers and kindness as well as your good example.

Your plans are exactly what I did after my prom, too. Danced the night away, had a blast, took the limo back to my friend’s house where our group said their goodnights, and then my high school boyfriend dropped me off at home. Fell asleep in my tiara.

You’re going to have a great time at your prom, and what’s more, you’re going to be able to look back on it entirely without regrets. Now that’s priceless! :slight_smile:


#7

I’ll let you in on what happens when you get drunk. You start to have a little fun and then you get all buzzed. Next you think it’s cool since you can say whatever you want and no one is going to remember and you can pretty much do whatever you want at the time or at least you feel that way. You lose most of your inhibitions and hopefully have a good time hanging out with your friends and seeing who can handle the most alchol. Hopefully you maintained your morality and didn’t do anything too stupid. Then the party is over…

Here is your reward:

The toillet becomes your best friend for the next few hours. You can pretty much be passed out but when you are awake you will be constantly at the toillet and it is like having the stomach flu. Nothing you eat or drink you can hold down. As a result you will be very dehydrated and then you will be very sick all day even after you stop puking and your throat is burning and you definitely feel the need to drink lots of water and rehydrate and I personally hate losing my voice. Oh, but guess what. That’s not all. Alcohol is a depressant which means your immune system is depressed and whatever defense mechanisms are left are focused on getting the alchol out of your system. That means you are likely to catch anything that is in the vicinity and at a party with all those people there are plenty of germs. So even after you feel better from the abuse you put your body through you get to be sick with a cold or worse for the next few days.

Have fun being drunk if that is what you want to do and if you do, make sure you have a sober friend who can look after you and won’t let you do anything immoral.


#8

As someone who didn’t attend after parties my Junior or Senior year, it is far better than the drunken orgies that pass for parties.
My Senior year, my friends and I went cosmic bowling at a 24 hour bowling alley. My friend Katie was the Prom Queen (and refusing to make the usual Prom Queen party “appearances”) and she bowled in her tiara and sash!
Honestly, after hearing about all the problems people went through with hotel management, under-ages, “infidelities” among couples, etc., I am glad that I opted for a much more sober evening! And there is something to be said for the insanity that ensues during all-night sleep-deprived bowling! (Did you know that you get more strikes if you toss the ball granny style, turn around three times, and do John Travolta style disco dancing?)


#9

lol, sounds like fun:)

Thanks guys for the support and for reminding me that my friends need prayers. I keep forgetting that, because it’s so much easier to get frustrated with people. I just wish they could realize that you don’t need to drink excessively to have fun.


#10

I know what you’re talking about… thank goodness the people at my university are great when it comes to not pressuring me to drink. I think people who feel the need to get drunk like ‘everyone else’ are missing what you have in your life: faith, and a love for our Savior. They’re trying to fill the hole in their hearts; a hole only God can fill. Some people fill that hole with hobbies, some choose less healthy activities. Pray for these people! They need you to be strong, and show them what a good Christian life is like. Lead by example! ^^


#11

You are NOT naive. You actually have your head screwed straight.You have more sense in you than your friends do.

Your friends are duped by the counterfeit truth. What is fun?
Pfftt. Please.

Don’t give in to peer pressure. Be your own person. You have an identity, don’t you? Be that. :thumbsup:


#12

One of my friends once videotaped a party at which most of us were quite drunk, and then we all got together later to watch it for fun.

It was at best, extremely boring, and at worst, embarrassing to see ourselves acting like total idiots - and everything that had seemed funny at the time came accross as really lame to me. Especially when it came to shots of “here’s so-and-so passed out on the floor - ha ha”.

I think that video was the best sobriety pitch I’ve ever had.

The weird part is most of my friends liked the video and found it funny. I just didn’t get it.


#13

Tidy answer:

“I strive to be a law abiding citizen. Underage drinking is against the law.” Smile and walk away.


#14

Doesn’t make much sense, does it??

I’m over 40 and I’ve never been drunk or smoked. I never found either activity attractive. I’m glad you don’t either!! —KCT


#15

You are the exception rather than the rule and wise beyond your years. As I try to tell my son, a senior in high school, whose friends also offer up liquor, having fun and being drunk are mutually exclusive events. You can still have lots of fun with friends and not endanger your life or anyone else’s by participating in behavior that is not appropriate and illegal. It’s not only possible - but a whole lot more enjoyable when you can remember having the fun and not being scared to come home or make a call if you need to.

I just don’t believe we have to lower our expectations of appropriate behavior just to have fun. Life is fun and can and should be enjoyed to its fullest. Bad behavior is not a prerequisite for it. God Bless and keep up your standards.


#16

Umm, well, I guess I can join up with those who say being drunk is not fun. Some of it is good to enjoy, some of it you sleep well after. But getting yourself blasted into oblivion is a bad experience.


#17

You’re not naive. You actually know what fun is, which is why you actually want to remember when you have had it.

They don’t have the creativity to make fun opportunities for themselves, so they have to get drunk to make themselves think they’re having some.

Years ago I got similar words from a (drunk at the time) college roommate, who was in the process of stumbling around our apartment, red-eyed, and making a spectacle of herself, while telling me I should try it sometime.

No thanks.

In the first place, I do my best to hang out with people whom I already find interesting when I’m sober. In the second place, I’m perfectly capable of making an idiot of myself without any help. :smiley:


#18

I can think of many things off the top of my head that prove this statement false.


#19

I can only say that during my high school and college years, I’ve known several women who were raped when they were drunk or passed out from being drunk.


#20

I haven’t read all the answers, but I think when people do that to you, you should say exactly what you said here about how they wouldn’t like it if you told them what they should do… and how you want to avoid the problems you mentioned with drunkenness.

You may plant a seed :slight_smile:


DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.