I have been struggling with an idea that I have encountered among some Catholic friends and I honestly don’t know what I think about it. I have reached my own conclusion for now, but it is subject to change depending on what I find out about what the Church teaches about this exactly. I’m still being formed, so I don’t profess that I know everything about what the Church teaches. I’ll present what conclusion I have reached so far. Tell me what you think and if this would be in agreement with Church teaching. I have encountered so many different responses from people.
This idea that I came across states that if a Catholic person with same sex attractions finds another Catholic person with same sex attractions that they find themselves connecting with on a deep spiritual level, then it is okay for them to live together as a couple as long as they never have sexual relations. They can each help bear the other’s cross and support each other since they both deal with the same objective disorder (as the Church refers to when talking about same sex attractions…I think)?
From what the church teaches, I have learned that people with same sex attractions are called to a life of celibacy and chastity as are all of us who remain single. Celibacy meaning that you never get married and chastity meaning you never have sexual relations with anyone (are those the correct definitions)? There are four different vocations and I believe that single is one of them. I interpret single to mean what it says. It means not involved in any romantic relationship. Romantic as in the “I want to marry you” sort of thing. A person is totally devoted to Christ and his Church.
When this was being described to me, the term “couple” was used. I have a problem with that term. I interpret that to mean a romantic “dating” relationship which leads to the vocation of marriage. I always thought that people of the same sex cannot date because that is a prerequisite for the vocation of marriage. So, there is no such thing as same sex dating just like there is no such thing as same sex marriage because dating leads to marriage. Does that make sense?
The Catechism describes that people with same sex attractions can find support from “disinterested friendship” and I think that’s where this idea I’ve encountered is coming from. What does the Church mean by “disinterested”? I interpret “disinterested” to mean non-sexual and purely platonic. So, if a Catholic person with same sex attractions found another Catholic person with same sex attractions and had a deep spiritual friendship with them and it was completely non-sexual (no lustful thoughts/sexual relations/physical expressions that lead to sex like making out), then I think they could live together as long as they were absolutely certain that they were not interested in each other sexually. They would also probably have to get permission from someone. I honestly think this could only be accomplished in extraordinary circumstances.
Where my confusion begins is that this could also be applied to a man and a woman with opposite sex attractions. Would it be okay for them to live together then if it was platonic and a deep spiritual relationship?
Does this make sense? Does the church say anything specifically about these types of situations?
I’m so confused.
I hope I do not sound hateful or not understanding towards people with SSA.