Permanent birth control from before converting...?


#1

I'm not certain if this is the right section to post this, so if it's not please feel free to stick it in the right place!

I am a recent convert to Catholicism. Several years ago, my husband had a vasectomy - it was more his decision than mine, and the stance that I held at the time was one of, 'it's your body, do whatever you think is best.' Since Catholicism teaches that it's a sin to have sex without the option for life to be created, I'm not sure what to do.

Is it wrong for me to withhold myself from him? How can I reconcile this issue while remaining in a state of grace?


#2

My understanding is that since this vasectomy happened before either you or your husband knew it was wrong, there is no mortal sin. Some couples in this situation practice periodic abstinence anyway (no sex during your typical ovulatory phase) as a spiritual discipline. The Church does not require a reversal. You should consult with your priest for more details.


#3

[quote="Eloueen, post:1, topic:195998"]
I'm not certain if this is the right section to post this, so if it's not please feel free to stick it in the right place!

I am a recent convert to Catholicism. Several years ago, my husband had a vasectomy - it was more his decision than mine, and the stance that I held at the time was one of, 'it's your body, do whatever you think is best.' Since Catholicism teaches that it's a sin to have sex without the option for life to be created, I'm not sure what to do.

Is it wrong for me to withhold myself from him? How can I reconcile this issue while remaining in a state of grace?

[/quote]

It's not a sin for you to have sex with your husband even if he chooses to use condoms, or has had a vasectomy. What he did is his sin, not yours. You would be sinning if you were using birth control yourself. By denying him sex you're actually failing your marriage obligation.


#4

Well, it’s not apparent here that she objected to the process. So please don’t put all blame on him.

Best advice is still the same. Talk to the priest.


#5

[quote="Eloueen, post:1, topic:195998"]
I'm not certain if this is the right section to post this, so if it's not please feel free to stick it in the right place!

I am a recent convert to Catholicism. Several years ago, my husband had a vasectomy - it was more his decision than mine, and the stance that I held at the time was one of, 'it's your body, do whatever you think is best.' Since Catholicism teaches that it's a sin to have sex without the option for life to be created, I'm not sure what to do.

Is it wrong for me to withhold myself from him? How can I reconcile this issue while remaining in a state of grace?

[/quote]

I suggest you read up on Theology of the Body to get the clearest understanding of the Church Teachings on this subject. A good start would be to have you and your husband read Theology of the Body for Beginners by Christopher West. It's a short and easy logical distillation of TOB.


#6

[quote="newbetx, post:4, topic:195998"]
Well, it's not apparent here that she objected to the process. So please don't put all blame on him.

Best advice is still the same. Talk to the priest.

[/quote]

Unless she encouraged him/pushed him into it, it's his sin. Still, it doesn't matter whose sin it is at this point as what's done is done and the Church does not require vasectomies to be reversed, simply confessed.

If she contributed to getting him to have a vasectomy, she should confess it and move on. The husband doesn't have to reverse it, and she does not have to deny him sex.


#7

[quote="Eloueen, post:1, topic:195998"]
I'm not certain if this is the right section to post this, so if it's not please feel free to stick it in the right place!

I am a recent convert to Catholicism. Several years ago, my husband had a vasectomy - it was more his decision than mine, and the stance that I held at the time was one of, 'it's your body, do whatever you think is best.' Since Catholicism teaches that it's a sin to have sex without the option for life to be created, I'm not sure what to do.

Is it wrong for me to withhold myself from him? How can I reconcile this issue while remaining in a state of grace?

[/quote]

Why do you want to withold yourself from him? The church does not require you to do that.


#8

There are times that we take the word to literally. I have had this discussion with my Priest. He instructed me. It is not a sin to have marital relations with my wife. Without birth control doing so using the ovulatory phase ...to not conceive. Because if she were to conceive another child the likelihood of her or the child surviving were not good.
So, one your husband needs to confess this. By doing so he is forgiven. You do the same if you had anything to do with the decision. Then move on with life. Do not deny him. Because you deny yourself with him.


#9

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