[quote="themeginthemoon, post:37, topic:244270"]
I agreed with this completely....but you derailed here:
Kiddo, I didn't just "grow up", I healed from the inside out. I learned how to relate better and understand people better. I have made great strides, it's nothing to do with 'growing up'. I wish it had been that simple.
I have Borderline Personality Disorder. I used to fit the description to a tee, but I am currently a work in progress. I knew I needed help, because I pushed so many people away from me, and I got it. Thank God.
This entire thread is very disturbing. All of you "amateur" psychologists- STOP LABELING PEOPLE! They may very well have the disorder you suspect, but you are not a professional, stop shoving people into pigeon holes, you do them a major disservice.
Dr. Jim Asher wrote a very general, broad, and useless article in my opinion. Quirks do NOT indicate a personality disorder, nor is it simply someone who 'won't do the dishes', what a trivial example to make. I am infuriated that a Catholic publication published this- it is simply bunk. My therapist, who by the way is a christian therapist, would die if she read that. It is dis compassionate and contrite.
*I totally agree with you.. what an unscolarly piece. It was way way to vague and just causing confusion. Some people are like that, they label other people for minor things.. *
I believe that I am a good wife and mother. I work very very hard at it. My disorder does not doom me to a life of being single and not 'marriage material', thank God my husband didn't think so. I think a lot about others, and I am a wonderful advocate for those that Juliane, a normally eloquent and insightful poster, referred to as "abnormals". I hope she didn't mean that the way it came across.
The thing about that article that angers me the most is that he makes all people with personality disorders out to be the same uncaring, selfish people. He portrays them (us) all as unable to relate to others, unable to perceive the needs of others... that's just not true.
You know what I do 4-5 times a month? I volunteer as a victims' advocate for survivors of sexual assault. When someone is raped, I go to the hospital and make sure they get out of their with as little trauma as possible. I have to be very sensitive to what they need from me and hospital staff, and I put the survivor first. Even if it means I am at the hospital for up to 8 hours in the middle of the night, I do it because I am providing an invaluable, free service to society. It's how I decided to give back.
Thats very interesting. You are amazing. Please can you tell me more about your work.. what you do precisely. Were you abused yourself (know that many borderliners are) ?
Last time I checked, my advocacy role requires a lot of ability to do all of the things Dr. Jim Asher says I am not capable of. I am not being narcicistic or self-serving, but I know that I am good at what I do. So much in fact, I decided to make a career of it and am going to school in the fall to get my Master's in Social Work.
I was perhaps born with the propensity to be this way, but it was definitely exacerbated by the sexual abuse I endured at a very young age, and many other traumas that snowballed during my formative years.
It is not my fault, and I am working very hard to be the best person I'm capable of. My actions are my fault, but my maladaptive ways of thinking are not. I have to second guess and check myself all the time. With God's love and mercy, I will hopefully beat this, but it's hard.
Don't steal the power of the individual by saying there is no hope for personal change. Do you really feel that way? Does that not sound like the sin of despair? I think so. There is always hope, if God can move mountains and flood the Earth he can help me function as a productive member of society.