when a face to face conversation is not possible? A few weeks back I posted about not going to my dad’s house over the Christmas holiday even though he offered to pay for the trip (I don’t want to deal with the stress and criticism he freely pushes on others, including myself). Well, it has been almost a month since we have spoken (I have made attempts to call his house, but no responses, and the last time my younger sister was quite rude to me on the phone). My daughter’s birthday passed in that time (his first grandchild) and not a single person (my dad, step-mom, sister, brother) from that house even called to wish her happy birthday. My dad has a history of giving the silent treatment when he doesn’t get his way (which can last for years, which happened to my brother and two step-brothers during their teenage years, yet I am an adult). The only times he broke them is when the person he was ignoring appologized. I truly believe that I was not in the wrong here (I thanked him for the invitation but said that it just wasn’t going to be a possibility for me this year).
I have no plans to appologize for something that I did that was not wrong. However, those “Message from the Catholic Church” commercials keep coming to mind and I want to try to make things right but to also address how I am hurt and upset with my dad’s lack of decency. Should I address my hurt via phone, letter or email? Phone will be the most difficult to reach him, but I want to try to contact him and talk about in the least informal manner that is available (he lives in DC, I’m in Chicago). What would any of you suggest?