Please be kind and have an open heart


Many prayers for you… I’m sure this is an overwhelming difficult struggle that has a long road ahead… but know you’re not alone! (((HUGS))), love, and prayers… and thank you for being so open to following God’s will. You are a good example. :slight_smile:


[quote="Vincent1984, post:18, topic:192656"]
He may be a doctor, and he may have been raised as a Catholic, but it sounds like he's not a 'Catholic Doctor'.

From his comments above about good eggs and bad eggs, it sounds like he values human life by its strength, by what it can do, not because it is in the image of God's own Son.

There are probably a lot of doctors out there who deceive people in the same way - "I'm a Catholic too! So there can't be anything wrong with it, right?"


It must also be pointed out that doctors are not moral theologians nor leaders of the Church. I know many people that call themselves "Catholic" but they fail to practice the beliefs required by the Church for someone to be a faithful Catholic. To be faithful to the Church is to be faithful to Christ. This doctor is not a faithful Catholic. He has taken on his own authority to do something objectively evil. You should tell him and them find another doctor. Set an example for him by letting him know that his mere offer to do something objectively evil makes you doubt that you can trust him.


Here’s another option for you. Why not adopt an already fertilized egg. There a lot of fertilized eggs out there that are just sitting in “the freezer”. The church has no objection to this as far as I’ve heard and it would let you experience pregnancy. I’ve accepted that I’ll never have a child myself unless through adoption but as the biological experience isn’t really that important to be I’d rather adopt an older child. :shrug:


I think that’s still up for debate amongst theologians…… it’s a PDF, so do a search for “prenatal adoption” and you’ll find this:

It has also been proposed, solely in order to allow human beings to be born who are
otherwise condemned to destruction, that there could be a form of “prenatal adoption”. This
proposal, praiseworthy with regard to the intention of respecting and defending human life,
presents however various problems not dissimilar to those mentioned above.
All things considered, it needs to be recognized that the thousands of abandoned
embryos represent a situation of injustice which in fact cannot be resolved. Therefore John
Paul II made an “appeal to the conscience of the world’s scientific authorities and in particular
to doctors, that the production of human embryos be halted, taking into account that there
seems to be no morally licit solution regarding the human destiny of the thousands and
thousands of ‘frozen’ embryos which are and remain the subjects of essential rights and should
therefore be protected by law as human persons”.39



[quote="Sierrah, post:23, topic:192656"]
Here's another option for you. Why not adopt an already fertilized egg. There a lot of fertilized eggs out there that are just sitting in "the freezer". The church has no objection to this as far as I've heard and it would let you experience pregnancy. I've accepted that I'll never have a child myself unless through adoption but as the biological experience isn't really that important to be I'd rather adopt an older child. :shrug:


That one is not yet difinitive, yet, the majority of Catholic opinion is that this is immoral.


Thank you again all for your kind words and prayers, you all have no idea how much that means to me and my husband!!!

Sierrah - I think embryo adoption is great and one of my co-workers is proud to be a donor embryo mother. We asked our priest about this and from what he explained to us, they are created from IVF so they’re still considered to be against our religion. I pray though that these children find homes as this was not their choice. I believe that regardless of how they were created, the second that egg was fertilized it became a living person. Embryo adoption is not an option for us but I really appreciate all of these suggestions!!!


I see that this was started a while back and I don't know what direction you chose but have this to share.

I have a beautiful, healthy 7 month old boy conceived with donor eggs. I am grateful every day for him and believe with all of my heart that God cannot see his existence or creation as a sin. I suppose this makes me a bad (or cafeteria) Catholic, but I'm ok with that.

He is perfect. We are blessed.


This might be a silly question, but is the premature ovarian failure due to a medical condition? My granddaughter has Turner Syndrome, one x chromosome instead of two, which causes fertility problems. Is it possible that you have that? The main characteristics are short stature and no secondary sex characteristics (hormones are taken for pubertal development) due to the missing second 'x' choromosome.
Unfortunately for someone in your situation, adoption is the only sanctioned way to become a mommy. But keep in mind that one hears SO many stories of infertile couples who adopt and then become pregnant! God willing that may be true for you!
God Bless You


[quote="ILGirl, post:1, topic:192656"]
Hi there. I am a 26 year old girl that is struggling with infertility. I was raised catholic and still am a practicing catholic. In August 2008, I married the man of my dreams after dating for 5 1/2 years. I feel so blessed to have a wonderful family, husband, and in-laws. I was blessed that he too was raised catholic so we share that :D As soon as we got married (at the time I was 25) we started trying to conceive. A year after no luck, we went to the doctors (praying I just needed my tubes cleared or something simple). Unfortunately, I was diagnosed with premature ovarian failure....I'm out of eggs at the tender age of 26 :crying:
Our family has dealt with so much in the past few years. I lost a good high school friend to cancer. Then in May of 2007 my husband and an aneurism that threw a blood clot. Thanks to God, he survived. Unfortunately in February 2008 we lost his sister to cancer (she was 26 years old). October of 2008 my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer, she is still currently with us :D I feel like we have suffered so much heartache and would do just about anything for a break here!! We actually conceived in December 2009 but ended up miscarrying (baby's due date was my sister in laws birthday) just a kick in the gut! The miscarriage was due to my poor egg quality (failing ovaries).
Anyway, the reason I'm writing. I know the catholic religion is against egg donors. Please be kind when replying to this post, I don't mean to start a debate or argue with catholic beliefs. I guess I just want to know more behind the reasoning. Here's my dilemma: for me to experience a healthy pregnancy, I would need donor eggs. I'm not against adoption nor is my husband but we would like to know more about why the catholic religion is so against egg donation. Our view is that God decides which children come into this world, as my doctor (a catholic) has said, "I've seen really good eggs go in an not result in a pregnancy and really bad ones go in and result in a pregnancy. Tell me God doesn't have a hand in that?"
Any guidance or words of wisdom would be much appreciated. Oh, and by the way, my husband and I are incredibly healthy individuals (minus his little health scare - his clavicle bone was too close to his first rib). We both workout everyday and are at healthy weights. No health concerns. Obviously no STD's either ;) You just never know with people now a days so I'd thought I'd throw that out there. We're GOOD, PRACTICING, CATHOLICS! A hard find for 26 year olds these days :thumbsup:


I've had a miracle child and I pray for you to have one too. One of the reasons why I wouldn't touch IVF is that it could increase the risk of disability in a child such as Down's Syndrome, and sometimes they've experimented on embryos to develop the science. IVF science has also been developed by the guy who invented the contraceptive pill. I also don't believe in playing God. You can make a sperm go into an egg, but you can't give a baby a soul. If you pray and conceive by the will of God then your baby will be specially blessed like Isaac or John the Baptist.


DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit