Please help and pray for me


#1

Hi, I’m a 21 year old college student. My mom was diagnosed with cancer last year ( Jan. 2008) and now, a year and a half later, is in Hospice and probably going to die within a month… I was raised Catholic ( My mom’s family was Catholic) but I haven’t attended mass regularly in about 5 or 6 years. I have strayed from the church, but I still really believe in God deep down and I just want to understand.

I am really struggling with my mom’s diagnosis and the fact that she has to suffer/ die and i have to lose her so early in my life. I am an only child and my parents are divorced, my dad and I have always have a bad relationship although he has stepped up to the plate in the last few weeks. I am going to be alone in the world. I like to think of my mother as my soul mate, my best friend, my other half… we are best friends and I know she is so worried about me.

I guess I am just looking for some comfort, any advice on what to say or do with her in these final weeks of her life. I had a preist in yesterday to do the Annointing of the Sick and I also went to mass yesterday morning (my best friend’s idea) to pray for her. I don’t want her to go, but I know I have to say goodbye and let her go. I just want her to go to heaven. I kinda wanna go with her. I know my life will never be the same without her- I don’t know how I will survive.

Why is there suffering in the world? Why do bad things happen to good people like her? Why am I being left alone in the world? What did she/ I do to deserve this? How can I make her comfortable and ease her mind even though I’m going crazy inside?


#2

Lord, let PoloGirl31 know that she is not alone in her suffering. When I lost my mother at age 16 my whole world changed drastically. She was my favorite and most beloved person in the whole world. She was so virtuous and unconditional with her love and respect for her children, she was a saint. My life was at a great, great loss without her. I pray that PoloGirl31 can accept her mother’s death as being ordained by You, dear Lord. May PoloGirl31 allow her mother to witness this acceptance so her passing won’t be so bad on her. May PoloGirl31 spend time with her mother praying the rosary and the chaplet of divine mercy and may You, Lord, be with them in a very special way during their last days together. May PoloGirl31 know that You allow bad things to happen to us for our good. May PoloGirl31 know that your mother has fulfilled her mission in this world and is called to be in heaven now. May PoloGirl31 know that you want her now to work on getting closer to You, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit through prayer, good Catholic reading and eucharistic adoration. May she know that You are all I have now, now that my mother is gone. You know, Lord, that I have a father, brothers and sisters and that have their own families and busy lifestyles they lead and so I am given the perfect opportunity to get closer to You, sweet Lord, and immersed in a deep spiritual life with much prayer, adoration, spiritual reading and in service interceding for my family and others. I pray PoloGirl31 can do the same. Bless her and protect her and grant her dear mother a peaceful death. Amen.


#3

I am in the same boat. My mother has bone cancer and is in hospice care. To me, she is a saint. She always set an excellent example of how to treat other people. I love her so much.

I will pray for you.


#4

PoloGirl, I will be praying for both you and your mother, that God will send both of you comfort and healing.

Hail Mary, full of Grace
The Lord is with thee
Blessed art thou amongst women
And blessed is the Fruit of your womb, Jesus
Holy Mary, Mother of God
Pray for us sinners
Now, and at the hour of our death,
Amen

:console: :console: :console:


#5

I will pray for your Mom and you, and I lost my mother when I was a little younger than that, and I never forget her also, dear Mum. With love, Trishie

I wonder if Mary ever asked this question, even just a little. Jesus was so good. He only helped people and loved them, teaching them about love, but His people turned on him, and tortured and murdered Him horribly, and His mother could only stand and watch as the kindest, holiest Man ever born died gasping and bleeding in front of her, abandoned by all but a few women and just one of His twelve companions who’d heard Him say such good things and even saw Him perform miracles…But He saved us by His suffering. Because He suffered, we have hope of eternal happiness

Jesus said, “As the Father has loved me, so I love you.” For, “during His life on earth, he offered up prayer and entreaty, aloud and in silent tears, to the one who had the power to save him out of death, and he submitted so humbly that his voice was heard. Although he was Son, he learned to obey through suffering.” [Hebrews 5:7-8]

“Yet ours were the sufferings He bore, ours the sorrows He carried.
But we, we thought of Him as someone punished,
struck by God and brought low.
Yet He was pierced for our faults, crushed for our sins.
On Him lies a punishment that brings us peace.
We had all gone astray like sheep, each taking his own way,
and God burdened Him with the sins of us all.
Harshly dealt with, He bore it humbly…

God has been pleased to crush Him with suffering…
And through Him, what God wishes shall be done.
His soul’s anguish over He shall see the light and be content.
By His sufferings shall my servant justify many,
…for surrendering Himself to death
and letting Himself be taken for a sinner,
while He was bearing the faults of many
and praying all the while for sinners
.” [Isaiah 53:4-6 10-12]


#6

Pologirl, I will also pray for you and your mother. Always remember God is always with you and He will carry you through these tough times. God bless you and your mother.


#7

Polo Girl:

I was 18 when my mother died from cancer (she was 34), and 26 when my father died from cancer (he was almost 63). I don’t know if there’s anything that you can do to understand what’s happening. All you can really do is try to accept that this is a part of Life just as birth is.

You’ve already done one thing right - You’ve gone to Mass, and you’ve accompanied the priest when he gave you mother the Anointing of the Sick. I think you might find sitting in front of the Lord & talking to Him about this to be both helpful and comforting. You also might want to see how much time your parish priest have available and if you local parish (or the hospice) as a group where you can talk about the feelings you’re having. The last thing you need is feeling like you’re alone right now.

Going to the Cross, seeing the Lord on the Cross, will help you to understand that you aren’t alone, and that you’ve never been alone, and neither is your mother.

I can give you Scriptures and Encyclicals, but this is what I know. You’re not alone. The Father who sent His own Son to the Cros, the Son who willingly went to that Cross, both know what you’re going through, and they are with you in in suffering, and in your searching.

I hope that’s enough for you.

Your Brother & Servant in Christ, Michael


#8

Our Father, Who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy Name.
Thy Kingdom come.
Thy Will be done, on earth, as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
And forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now,
and at the hour of our death.
Amen.


#9

Prayer to Our Lady, Mother of Mercy

Blessed Virgin Mary, who can worthily repay you with praise and thanks for having rescued a fallen world by your generous consent! Receive our gratitude, and by your prayers obtain the pardon of our sins. Take our prayers into the sanctuary of heaven and enable them to make our peace with God.

Holy Mary, help the miserable, strengthen the discouraged, comfort the sorrowful, pray for your people, plead for the clergy, intercede for all women consecrated to God. May all who venerate you feel now your help and protection. Be ready to help us when we pray, and bring back to us the answers to our prayers. Make it your continual concern to pray for the people of God, foryou were blessed by God and were made worthy to bear the Redeemer of the world, who lives and reigns forever. Amen.

Saint Augustine of Hippo 

#10

O great St. Peregrine, you have been called “The Mighty,” “The Wonder-Worker,” because of the numerous miracles which you have obtained from God for those who have had recourse to you.

For so many years you bore in your own flesh this cancerous disease that destroys the very fibre of our being, and who had recourse to the source of all grace when the power of man could do no more. You were favoured with the vision of Jesus coming down from His Cross to heal your affliction. Ask of God and Our Lady, the cure of the sick whom we entrust to you.
(Pologirl’s mother)

Aided in this way by your powerful intercession, we shall sing to God, now and for all eternity, a song of gratitude for His great goodness and mercy.
Amen.


#11

pologirl my heart breaks for you, my mum died when i was 23, at the time i could not see how i could live the rest of my life without her, you say your dad, even though you have not had a good relationship with him in the past, has been there for you, let him be there for you, he loves you and this is probably his way of showing it.Let him help you . It’s now 21 years since my mum died i still miss her desperately, but i thank God for the 23 years i had with her, others are not so lucky, remembering this helped me to cope over the years and still helps.Stay strong, spend as much time with you’re mum as you can and ask God to guide you through this terrible time.You you’re mum and dad are in my prayers God Bless.


#12

Praying that God will bring you His peace.


#13

May St. Joseph, patron saint of departing souls, intercede for your mother. St. Joseph, foster-father of Jesus Christ, please obtain from the child Jesus mercy and comfort for PoloGirl and her mother and family during this time. Help guide them as you guided the Holy Family into safety. Help strenghthen their faith and trust in your foster-child, Jesus.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with you. Blessed are you amoung women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus. Holy Mary, mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. amen


#14

Hi, Pologirl31.

I am very sorry to hear that your mother is unwell. Regardless of the outcome, remember that physical death is not the end of life. While your mom may be taken from your sight temporarily, you will be reunited with her one day. Just as Christ died a bodily death and was resurrected, so shall your mom upon the LORD’s return. Until that day, her soul will reside with Christ. The Monsignor at my church said something very comforting about death a few weeks ago. He mentioned that it is natural for those of us on earth to weep because we are deprived of our loved one’s company, but we should be also happy for them. In heaven, they are free from the purifying fires of life; they have completed their journey and are at rest with Jesus. What better destiny could any of us hope for? Your mother will realize the ultimate Christian goal: to finally come face to face with Jesus. The saints were (are) wonderful people, but they suffered terribly. God allowed them to suffer in unison with Christ to purify and draw them closer to Him. We learn some of our greatest lessons through suffering; it teaches us to rely upon God for strength, and we grow stronger because of it.

I will say a prayer for your family that God may strengthen you during this difficult time. The LORD also loves your mother, and I assure you she is in good Hands.

May God bless you and your family.

~North


#15

Pologirl, I am deeply sorry for what you are going through. I, too, have experienced great calamity and loss in my life in the past five years or so - repeatedly, even. I suggest that you pick up a book such as “The Tears of God” by Fr. Benedict Groeschel, or another book that deals with how to overcome grief/loss/or despair as a Catholic.

I will share with you the “secret” that, I believe, is one of the greatest gifts of the Church - the Cross. It is the Catholic answer to suffering. Just as we are called to imitate all things that Jesus did or commanded during his lifetime, such as feed the poor or love one another, we are also called to share in his suffering on the Cross. The great thing is, though, that Jesus has transformed suffering, from something that is meaningless before the Cross, to something that saved the whole world through his own suffering and death. Therefore, we can bind our sufferings in this life to Jesus’ ultimate suffering - we can do this to repair for sins we may have done, others may have done, or to relieve the suffering of someone you love, or grant something for someone you love or care for. However, the most important message here, I think, is that not only can you do something with all this suffering because of Jesus, He will never, ever allow you to suffer alone, and if you turn to Him, he will greatly help you if not completely take away your pain.

I will pray for you:

Hail Mary, Full of Grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women, and Blessed is the Fruit of Thy Womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now, and at the hour of our death. Amen.

Lord Jesus, please, Have Mercy upon Your daughter - console her in her time of immense anxiety, pain, and woe. Lord, just as You loved your own mother, Mary, so steadfastly, we all strive to love our own mothers. This person seems to be about to lose her mother, Lord, and I pray that You will make a way for her to carry on, to strengthen the relationship with her father, to shed herself of the burden and the pain of this potential loss, Lord, with Your Mercy and help. Please Lord, if there is any way, I beseech You to descend Your Holy Spirit upon her mother, and heal her of her affliction. But if it be not Your Holy Will, Lord, please make her last days ones of peace, happiness, and communication, and accept her into Your Heavenly Kingdom. Through You, Lord Christ, I pray. Amen.


#16

My mom passed away yesterday at the age of 71. She had family all around her as she took her last breath.

I love you Mom. I will miss you forever.


#17

Eternal rest grant unto her, O Lord. And may Your Perpetual Light shine upon her. May she rest in peace.
Amen


#18

Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of death.
Amen.
:signofcross:


#19

I ask God to comfort you in your great loss. :grouphug:

Our Father, Who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy Name.
Thy Kingdom come.
Thy Will be done, on earth, as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now,
and at the hour of our death. Amen.

Glory be to the Father, and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit,
as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be world without end. Amen


#20

In prayer for you and your family,
and in prayer for PoloGirl and your mother.

Our Father, Who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy Name.
Thy Kingdom come.
Thy Will be done, on earth, as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen.

Glory be to the Father, and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit,
as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be world without end. Amen

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now,
and at the hour of our death. Amen.


DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.