Please Help! I need advice


Hi! I am 14 years old and have my heart set on becoming a priest. However, a girl in mi school really wants to date me. I was wondering, would it be ok to date her before I am old enough to become a priest?


Have you spoken to your parents or your priest about this?
Do you need the distraction from your studies?
Just because the girl wants to date you, doesn’t mean you have to date her.
You are too young for this to go anywhere, and are you sure of her motives as to where this dating should lead or how it will impact on you?
We can be caught up with doing what others want us to do, without thinking through how it will impact on us.

I haven’t answered you, just posed some questions that you may want to think through, if not already.

I’ll remember you in my prayers,

Kind wishes,



I won’t tell you you’re too young…one of my cousins wanted to be a nun from when she was a child…she went out on a few dates during her early teens but still had her heart set on becoming a nun…when she was old enough she entered a convent and has been a nun now for many decades…some people it seems are called by God at an early age and know what they want …this may be your case…or…it may be wise to maybe go on a few dates over the next few years to see if you really feel that God is calling you to the priesthood…and don’t worry about it…you’re young …enjoy your teenage years…and keep praying…in time God will reveal his will for you…good luck and God bless


The Catholic Church needs priest. Christ could very well be calling you.


It would be okay, provided you ask God about it and wait for his answer


Our parish priest tells of how he had a serious girlfriend up until the point that he had to decide between the seminary and marriage. :slight_smile:


Hey! Firstly, it’s really nice that you have decided, for sure, to become a Priest. I’m 16, and still discerning my vocation, so please pray for me! =)
About your question, do YOU want to date HER?
In my opinion, it’s best not to date anyone unless you really like them.
I suppose you’re feeling bad for her, because according to what you’ve said, she wants to date you. But if you don’t put your heart into the relationship, you might end up hurting her instead, don’t you think? Maybe you could just explain to her your desire to join the Religious life. That could help.
However, if you WANT to date her, that’s different. Do you want to see what it’s like to date someone? Normally, at your age, people are still unsure about their vocation, so it would be okay for them to date (chastely, of course). But if you strongly feel that God is calling you to the religious life, it would be best if you work towards that vocation.
Again, I would say, unless you really love someone, don’t get into a relationship with them, because you’ll only end up hurting them.

Pray over it! God will guide you.

God bless you!
Love and Prayers,
Nikky. =)


Go ahead and date her, if you want to. It’s part of the discernment process, to see if you are being CALLED to be a priest. You should also think about getting a spiritual director soon to help you even more determine if the priesthood is God’s will for you.


Ave Maria!

I don’t know of any saint (our models and heroes who have made it to the one and only goal - heaven, and are given by the Catholic Church as the holiest examples for us to follow) who encourages dating while discerning the priesthood and religious life. In fact, they repeat how dangerous the world and it’s temptaions are, especially girls, and how it can destroy your vocation.

Don’t worry about girls and marriage. Concentrate on discerning (Mass, Sacraments, Our Lady, the lives of the Saints, the Holy Rosary, meditation) without any distractions - the devil will use any means to keep you from doing this, for he knows that the religious life is designed to make saints, and he hates this with a passion. If you trust God and move forward with all your heart, you’ll either become a priest/religious or He will prepare the perfect wife for you, but in due time.

Most importantly, consecrate yourself to Our Lady, and put your vocation in Her most loving hands. She, who raised our great High Priest, can certainly form you into Him, to become “alter Christus” (another Christ), or even a holy husband and father.

Mary, Mother of Vocations, pray for us! St. John Vianney, pray for us! Ave Maria!

In the Sacred Hearts of Jesus and Mary,

fra John Paul


In a word, yes. Priests need to be able to relate in a normal and mature way to all people - especially women - and, if you’re never dated, then this is going to be a problem!

The path to priesthood (and to any vocation for that matter) is a murky one - it’s difficult to know what lies more than a little way ahead. For this reason it’s important not to close off all your other options in favour of priesthood. It’s also important not to see priesthood as being a superior vocation to marriage.

When it comes down do it, you’re 14 years old and so should be doing what 14 year olds normally do and date. Don’t worry about whether or how this might affect your desire to be a priest because you’re only 14 so there’s a limit to how serious this relationships going to get; and, if you do become a priest, you’ll be a better priest from this experience.

Finally, if you haven’t already talked about your desire to be a priest with your parish priest, you really should do so.


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