I committed a mortal sin and did not confess it (knowingly). It is not a very big mortal sin, but it is still a mortal sin. This happened at least a year (or a little longer) ago and after a few confessions I just forgot about it. I knew it’s a sin not to confess a sin but I never realized the extent of how terrible it actually was. It just never occurred to me how bad it was, until today when I looked it up because I thought about it and was curious. I have no idea why I was so ignorant to think it was no big deal, and now I feel the heaviest weight on myself.
I was going to go to confession right away after I found out, but there are no confessions in my area today before Christmas. So I obviously won’t be taking the Eucharist during Christmas mass, which really pains me. I will go to confession as soon as I can, but I’m so nervous to tell the priest. I will, no doubt, confess it but I’m just afraid of how big this sin of hiding a sin really is. Not only because it happened once in the first place, but for every confession after that! And I thought nothing of it either. I read online that when confessing that I did not confess a mortal sin, I have to tell the priest every other sin that happened since my last good confession (which was when I didn’t hide this mortal sin). And that happened nearly a year ago, how am I to remember all my sins? And I received the Eucharist several times til now too. I feel absolutely terrible, to the point where I convinced myself there was no way I would be saved. Is this true? Is there still hope for me?
What hurts me the most is that I found the extent of this out recently because I have recently been wanting to become more faithful. I have made a promise to pray every night, while exercising, cleaning, or any time I remember to pray when I’m doing little activities like that and I really do feel from this experience that I will become changed. I heard that keeping track of my sins will help me become aware and avoid sinning again so I took that habit also. What would a penance for something like this be? I have never even heard of this happening to many people and I can’t find the answers, I feel awful.
Please pray for me! I pray that God will have mercy on me and that I will become more consistent on the path to righteousness. And help me in understanding how to make a good confession while explaining this to the priest, what do I say/ how can I remember all my sins from up until a year ago?