I have been searching this forum for threads related to my marital problems, but there are so many and have spent hours trying to find what I need, so I have decided to post my own thread in hopes that there is information out there that can help me. I read a post where someone responded to the OP that it sure seemed "all about you." That saddened me. This is from my perspective, my emotional distress, and I need as much information and support as I can get. This is long, so please hang in there.
Here is my story. I was 26 and had not been living according to God's Will for a while. I worked several jobs, attended college at night, and was pretty happy. I also realized that the nagging feeling that I had was that I wasn't sharing my life with God and began to seek Him, His guidance and love. About that time, I met a great guy. He was Catholic, from a very strong Catholic family, and was very strong in his faith. I loved that!! He grew up in a very devout Catholic family. Right is right and wrong is wrong. My dad was a strong Catholic, I was raised Catholic, but lived with different family for a while (mother put in care facility after major stroke.) I went to several protestant churches with extended family and friends, so I have some other influences. Although his family wouldn't really know of these as I had already embraced Catholocism whole heartedly. We dated for almost two years before we married. The time we dated wasn't without problems though. We got engaged after dating almost 14 months. His parents didn't seem thrilled at our announcement. (They lived in a different state,and had only met me two times.) Five months after our engagement, I was at his apartment and found a letter (15 pages or so) from his parents. I wasn't snooping, I found it on his desk when I went to write him something. In short, I wasn't a good enough Catholic girl to marry him. We were too different. Educationally, socially, financially, etc... He had a masters, I was just in college at night. He grew up with some money (his parents worked hard and saved), socially, I was not whatever they thought he wanted. They were really upset that I didn't go to communion while visiting, that I didn't care enough about my faith, relationship with God to make sure that I wasn't separated from God by sin. He went up to communion. I didn't go to confession, so I couldn't go to communion. I didn't go to confession because I knew that I didn't have a firm purpose of amendment. It wouldn't be a vaild confession and I knew it. I called it all off after finding the letter. I told him that I was not going to marry into a family that didn't like me and was not going to make him choose between us. After a couple of weeks, he told me that he and his parents had it out, they didn't know me, I was a great girl, etc... He told me that he knew what he wanted, chose me, loved me, wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, wanted to have children with me, etc... His parents even called me a week later to tell me how sorry they were. That they didn't know me well enough to make those kinds of judgements. They were so sincere in explaining how they knew that being judgemental was their greatest sin. That they realized that they had been critical and judgemental and that they gave their blessing for our marriage. Knowing that they were "right" in some of their judgements, I told them that I understood, agreed with some of their concerns, am working on being the woman that I want to be and that I loved their son. I forgave them. After that he told me that he did not want to move the wedding, that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me and that we should still get married in six months. He is a very low key kind of guy and everything seemed to be fine.
Continue to part 2