please help me


#1

Hi my name is Lisa I am 15 yeasr old. i hope that you will be able to help me becaus i have a little problem. well rely a big problem.

I am pregant at this point. only 2 months. I kno I am pregnant becaus i have missed my period lots and I wnet to see a doctor last week. He said I was pregnant so now I kno. i also kno who the father is and that is a big problem to.

My parents wuld defanitely throw me out of teh house if they knew i was pregnant. So i cant tell them. But I dont think I shuld have this baby becaus the father is my englis teacher he is sort of my boyfriend rite now, it’s hard to expalin. He is older and my parents wuld kil me if they thot he did somethin liek that. i luv him and he does not kno about the baby but he wuld be very upset, but i think he is aginst abortion…

So shud I have this baby anyway, it’s rely a hard decision—wut shuld I do? please help, thx. and hurry!

~lisa


#2

All you have to decide is:
Shall I pay for this indiscretion or shall
The Child under my protection pay with its life?

Who is guilty, who is innocent.

You better figure a way to soften up your parents too.
Humility may work wonders there.
How about grandparents, aunt, uncle, neighbor. … to help intercede for you?
If you are Catholic, now’s a good time to learn the Rosary.

Love,
Parent of 4 girls.
ps.
Forgive me, but the spelling in your post is really suspicious.


#3

All you have to decide is:
Shall I pay for this indiscretion

Speaking of indiscretion, I’m not sure if you know this, Lisa, but sex outside of marriage is considered fornication, and is a very bad sin. I couldn’t tell by your post if you knew that or not. I think that’s as much of an issue as the fact that you’re pregnant.

Forgive me, but the spelling in your post is really suspicious.

Suspicous in what way? I have a fair share of 12-18 year old’s on my MSN list (I’m 15 myself) and I’ve seen far worse spelling than that. At least it’s not all caps…


#4

im sorry for my speling i type rely fast and i dont rely pay attenton to what i type…i will try harder?

please help me tho…i am so confused!!!


#5

[quote=sadlisa]Hi my name is Lisa I am 15 yeasr old. i hope that you will be able to help me becaus i have a little problem. well rely a big problem.

I am pregant at this point. only 2 months. I kno I am pregnant becaus i have missed my period lots and I wnet to see a doctor last week. He said I was pregnant so now I kno. i also kno who the father is and that is a big problem to.

My parents wuld defanitely throw me out of teh house if they knew i was pregnant. So i cant tell them. But I dont think I shuld have this baby becaus the father is my englis teacher he is sort of my boyfriend rite now, it’s hard to expalin. He is older and my parents wuld kil me if they thot he did somethin liek that. i luv him and he does not kno about the baby but he wuld be very upset, but i think he is aginst abortion…

So shud I have this baby anyway, it’s rely a hard decision—wut shuld I do? please help, thx. and hurry!

~lisa
[/quote]

Lisa, please do not kill your baby.If you PM me I will talk to you further. Your english teacher is the father?He has abused his authority and manipulated you.I know you probably think he loves you,but people who abuse their authority in these matters are predators and will do the same thing with another student.Your parents will be dissappointed,but they will not kill you.I will pray for you, and I hope you pm me.God Bless


#6

birthright.com/

Tough situation, but you should have the baby. Things will be difficult, but as you’ve probably learned, things worth having do take lots of work. It takes lots of work to be on a winning team or to be in shape or to meet friends. Just because it will be hard, it doesn’t mean you should avoid it.

You will also feel a joy that you’ve never felt before by raising a baby. You will need help. Give your parents a chance. You are young, so you may not realized that grown ups do understand pre-marital sex. It has been around for a long time you know. Yes, they may get angry, but that is natural too. Give them a chance to help you. They may want to let you know that they disapprove of your actions, but then they will also probably want to show you how much they care for their grandchild too.

As far the English teacher thing, discuss that with your parents too. However, don’t let yourself get too wrapped up in the outcome. If he get punished, he deserves it. If he doesn’t, well that is fine too. The main thing is to treat your body well now. Do not abuse drugs or alcohol. TEll your parents. Go to this website now www.birthright.com and get help now. Don’t kill the baby, he or she deserve a chance to live its life. I hope to live it with its mother, but it should at least live. You’ll see. It won’t be as bad as you think right now. There are ways to get help and pray to God to guide you in your decision.

By the way, no baby is an accident. God has given you care of a new little soul, now you show God that you have respect for it. No person exists if it isn’t God’s will, so you see, this is no accident. You will be ok. God has called you to motherhood, apparently. Funny, eh? There is a reason for it. We just don’t get to see all of God’s plan. CAll birthright now, please and give your parents a chance to help you. Maybe call birthright first. They may have a plan on how to talk to parents about this stuff.


#7

Lisa: I’m so sorry you’re in this situation, but I beg you not to terminate your baby’s life. God can draw good out of sin and any good that He creates from this is based on His everlasting mercy and love for you. Get help. Go to your priest, make confession, go to any Catholic agency for help (Catholic!). You’ve no idea what this baby’s destiny is to be or what purpose God may have for your baby. Let the baby live. I will pray for you. You must let us know, in this same thread, how it goes with you. Also, you must hold your teacher to account for this…and the school district for that matter. You are a child and you were in his care. He is a predator and they put a predator in charge of children. He must help you support this baby. I pray your parents will remember their own human frailty and realize how much you need them.


#8

its just that i luv the father, alot

u guys think i shud have the baby?? but wont that mean i hafta drop out of school and be kicked out by my paretns and then will i go to hell when i die??

:confused: i didnt ask for this baby!!!


#9

[quote=sadlisa]its just that i luv the father, alot

u guys think i shud have the baby?? but wont that mean i hafta drop out of school and be kicked out by my paretns and then will i go to hell when i die??

:confused: i didnt ask for this baby!!!
[/quote]

No, depending where you are and I think that’s most places, you don’t have to quit school. Any parent who did such a thing would incur the wrath of Our Lord, I should think. And no, no, no, you won’t go to hell for having this baby!?!? Go to confession! Recieve absolution! You don’t imagine that you are the only woman to go through this, do you? If your parents kick you out, there are agencies that can help you, Catholic agencies that are dedicated to saving the lives of these babies. I can think of one right now in Grants, New Mexico, and it’s a wide space in the road. Ever major city is bound to have one. If you honestly feel that you cannot raise a baby, give it up for adoption, but don’t let anyone, your “lover,” your parents, anyone, talk you into the murder of your baby.


#10

[quote=sadlisa]its just that i luv the father, alot

u guys think i shud have the baby?? but wont that mean i hafta drop out of school and be kicked out by my paretns and then will i go to hell when i die??

:confused: i didnt ask for this baby!!!
[/quote]

It does not mean you have to quit school.If your parents kick you out,which I doubt,I will personally make sure you have some where to live,as far as going to hell when you die, go to confession about the fornication,but please,killing your baby will add a greater sin,and one you have to live with everyday.When, you have sexual relations with a man a pregnancy can occur,you do not have to ask.I am sure you love the father,if he really loved you he would not have put you in this predicament,and do not let him pressure you into killing this baby.God Bless


#11

Lisa, you didn’t ask for the baby, but I’m sure you know how it got there. That is not an excuse for an abortion. I’m sure this is not how you pictured your life right now and what you’re going through must be incredibly stressful. I’m sorry, honey. But, now that you are in this situation, it is important to make a decision you can be proud of in 20 years. God has called you to be a mother, as another poster mentioned. Sure this doesn’t make sense to you, but his ways are not our ways. Your parents are not going to kill you and throw you out. If they are angry at first, well, you will have to prepare yourself for that 'cause it’s probably gonna happen. It’ll be scary. But once it’s out in the open you will have a plan for what to do next. Please keep the life that is growing inside you , hon. You’re already a mom, whether you realize it or not. One of my very close friends got pregnant our freshman year of high school when she was 15. She had the baby and he is the sweetest little kid. She never regreted her decision to have him. Now, school was tough but it can be done. Lots of young mothers have done it already. Adoption is always an option if you feel you truly can’t handle the responsibility. I don’t want to preach to you too much so I will try to wrap this up. As for your english teacher being the father, what he has done is a crime. Think about him, honestly. You truly love this man? You want someone in your life who will care for and respect you. Someone who wouldn’t put you in this situation at 15 yrs. old. My advice to you right now is to tell your parents. If you can’t talk to them right away, maybe a counselor or a priest that is close to your family, another relative, someone. If you want to talk to me sometime you can im me, connerc707. I’m 21 and know of some people that have been in your situation. I’ll help if I can. Spend some time in prayer with this and ask the blessed mother for guidance.

:blessyou: Celia


#12

this is a such great place to post your concerns. the people above i think have given great responses to your question. God has clearly brought this child into your life for a reason, so dont forget to pray about that. another awesome website that your might be interested in looking at is priestsforlife.org/

you and your baby will be in my constant prayers.
Merry Christmas!


#13

Lisa, why not call a Catholic parish and ask to talk to someone in the Pro-Life Movement. I am pretty sure they will be able to help you by giving you references to health clinics or homes for unwed teenage mothers where you and your baby will be taken care of. I wish you the best of luck in this most difficult time in your young life.


#14

call Catholic Charities, look it up in the phone book under social service agencies, they will make sure you get medical care you need right now. do it today, you and your baby need care. they will help you contact Birthright, a Catholic organization that can help you with practical things you need, so you can have your baby, make decisions, and finish school.

also pray with Mary, who understands what you are going through, because she will tell you what you need to know, that God loves you and your baby. your parents will not kick you out, they will be your best friends. tell them now. we are all praying for you. the man who is the father has done something wrong, something criminal. he does not love you, he is using you, and he has done it to other girls, and he will keep hurting girls until somebody reports him and stops it.

go to your parents, they love you more than anybody in the world and are you best help.


#15

This is only a quick post, but is anyone here a member of Project Gabriel, or know how she can get in touch with them? It’s a group specifically formed for her kind of situation, and could probably help alot.

Scott


#16

Lisa, I recieved your PM and I sent you a message back.Please Pm me or email me as much as you like. I know alot of organizations that can help, I am involved inthe pro-life movement.God Bless You


#17

I think that what I can say, simply, is that there is plenty of help and support available. There are many organizations and individuals who would be more than happy to assist you through this difficult time. Don’t get caught up too heavily in worry. Just reach out a hand to some of the good people here or call a local crisis pregnancy center or national assistance group like The Nurturning Network:

nurturingnetwork.org/

They can direct you to someone who can help or even help you themselves. You will get through this.

I’ll remember you in my prayers.


#18

thx everyone, u have rely helped me

im going to tell my parents on xmas, maybe they will luv me enoug to not be mad?? but i wont tell them who teh father is, then i will be in to much trouble

~lisa


#19

[quote=sadlisa]thx everyone, u have rely helped me

im going to tell my parents on xmas, maybe they will luv me enoug to not be mad?? but i wont tell them who teh father is, then i will be in to much trouble

~lisa
[/quote]

Your parents love you, why dont you have your priest talk to them with you,he might be able to calm things down a little. God Bless


#20

Okay, I’ll assume this is a legitimate post:

That being the case what you need to do is to really think about what you want and what you think is right. I’m assuming you’re catholic which means the faith you’ve been raised to is very anti-abortion and also very anti-sex outside of some very rigid guidelines. If thats what you honestly believe is right for you then you should have the kid, tell your parents (possibly with a priests help) and take comfort that you’ve done what you believe to be right.

If you find you feel differently about the moral issues then you need to trust that. In that case you should seriously consider leaving the church as it won’t be good for either you or them to have someone who pays lip service to their ideas at mass.

Either way this is going to be a very hard time for you. I suspect you want to follow the catholic route or you wouldn’t be asking this question in this forum. Obviously most responders here will give you the same answer your priest will. This decision will influence your life for decades, it deserves some serious thought.

As far as your “boyfriend” I’d strongly recommend terminating the relationship as that kind of power inequity will most likely lead to real relationship problems. Beyond that you have to keep in mind that his actions constitute a crime in much of the US (depending on the local Age of Consent laws and how long you two have been intimate).


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