Okay i know that receiving eucharist in the state of a mortal sin is a mortal sin (sacrilige), and two times I’ve done it, but one time I only thought I was in a state of mortal sin, when I wasn’t and well the other time I don’t think I was either, but I still thought I was.
Anyway, I’ve confessed that at Reconciliation and feel better about it. However, when I did do it those two times I did it because it was at a school mass & a school retreat and I didn’t want to, but I didn’t know what to do. If I just sat there my teacher would ask me why I’m doing that and tell me to get up and receive, and I didn’t want anyone to know about my mortal sin, so I received.
I felt really bad and guilty about doing it and thought I could just confess it afterwards (I was planning to go after mass, and yes I know NOW that I shouldn’t do that because that’s presumption).
And just about 3 days ago, I received Reconciliation and confessed every sin I’ve ever done that I can remember (including presumption and receiving eucharist in the state of a mortal sin). But then someone said that being truly sorry for your sins means that if you could do the situation over again and choose not to do it, that means you’re sorry. I feel really guilty about it and feel bad that I committed it (mostly for imperfect reasons), but if I had a choice to do it over, would I??? Probably not because I would still feel pressured and don’t want anyone to find out about my mortal sin that I did a while ago. But if I committed a mortal sin, I probably would tell my mom and get Reconciliation BEFORE next Sunday or just sit out from getting it (whether I lie or not cuz doing a venial sin of lying is better than doing a mortal sin), its just that I don’t want anyone to find out about that one mortal sin I did along time ago. So if I had the chance to do it over again, I don’t know if I would have the strength to; however, I might be able to, but I don’t know…
So then would that count for being sorry if I felt bad and guilty that I ever did it, but don’t know if I would have the strength to do it over again and refuse???
Please help me, I’m so confused!!!