Please help, no advise given by priest after confession


#1

I was at confession recently and after I confessed my sins the priest didn’t give any advise I know this isn’t compulsory but there were a few people in front of me and they were in ages. I feel this sounds stupid, I have slight OCD and anxiety and I am wondering is it this making me paranoid? A funeral mass was just started shortly before it was my turn, maybe the priest felt he needed to be considerate to the funeral mass? But then I feel others were in longer than me? I did feel at peace after I was absolved from my sins, I think I worry to much about other people and should be concentrating on Jesus?


#2

I was at confession recently and after I confessed my sins the priest didn’t give any advise I know this isn’t compulsory but there were a few people in front of me and they were in ages. I feel this sounds stupid, I have slight OCD and anxiety and I am wondering is it this making me paranoid? A funeral mass was just started shortly before it was my turn, maybe the priest felt he needed to be considerate to the funeral mass? But then I feel others were in longer than me? I did feel at peace after I was absolved from my sins, I think I worry to much about other people and should be concentrating on Jesus?


#3

The people ahead of you may have had more sins to confess, or had a harder time confessing them. Your assumption that the priest was the one doing the talking may be wrong. :shrug:


#4

Agree.


#5

No worries.


#6

archive.org/details/abandonmenttodiv00causuoft


#7

Don’t worry about the amount of time others spend in confession versus the amount of time you spend. It can always vary and we have no idea what issues come up for others that the priest recognizes as needing extra time. He apparently felt your confession was good and that in some way you were handling this correctly. In other words, he may have seen no reason to spend extra time on your particular issue.

I know my confessor would respond differently with me, depending on the issue at hand. Sometimes I would expect to be in confession longer as in my mind I had done something that was really needing some discussion. That is just when I would land up with his giving me absolution, and basic penance and his blessing.

One time I thought things would go rather quickly, and was I surprised when he kept me discussing this one issue for nearly 45 minutes! It was not even what I thought was a serious sin, but in the process I learned that it was a sin rooted in deeper problems that warranted discussion and illumination. When I left I got some pretty intense stares, to say the least. I could only smile to myself at my own bewilderment.

So relax. The time spent is not important. The validity of the confession is.


#8

Finding the best spiritual direction from a confessor is not always automatic. Next time visit a different priest, eventually you will find the right match.


#9

Obsessive compulsive disorder and anxiety are not hard to understand considering the trials of life given to us in our lives. Obsessions meaning we are spending too much time thinking about our wants and needs that are not being met, love for example. As children perhaps we didn’t receive the security of love a child should have because of some family problem. We may fell rejected, suppressed, and isolated, In this environment it is no wonder that anxiety is the result. Sometimes feeling it’s all due to our failure, and it’s not. Worry and anxiety is a bad habit, and if we do it enough with our obsessions it can develop into compulsive reactions. We are into ourselves, and we become too self centered. The remedy appears to me is to try hard to spend as little time as possible obsessing with worry, asking God for the trust you need in Him to heal you. The more you project outwardly to life and people, and not withdraw into your self, the quicker you will be healed. Keep asking Jesus for this healing. You may fear that people may notice your condition and treat you as strange and odd, don’t worry, they have troubles of their own. Be positive about yourself, and have more confidence in yourself, and ask God for it.
Don’t be afraid to make mistakes that’s human. Distract yourself with some worthwhile project, like helping someone, doing works of charity, this keeps you in contact with the real world. You won’t have much time to worry and be anxious, love of God and neighbor goes a really long way towards a healthy mind and soul.


#10

I don’t think telling the OP to try a different parish is needed here. It simply sounds like (IF) the priest didn’t spend enough extra time to advise with the OP, the funeral might have something to do with that.

To the OP, if you need advise from your priest, the best thing to do is to schedule an appointment. That way you can easily have an hour with Father to discuss issues in more detail.

God Bless


#11

This is a common human failing which can cause us all sorts of trouble. Regardless of the reason for it, I have found for me prayer and the [ can both be very helpful.

So often, I pick at and worry about something, only to find the other person has no recollection of the matter, or had a something else going on aside from me which caused the problem, or that the other person had worried about having bothered me! And I notice myself doing the wrong thing with others for reasons which have nothing to do with the particular person but with my own state of mind, so instead of taking things personally, I try to attribute things others do to their own lives :wink:

(If you print out the prayer, I would suggest putting in a line space between the desire of’s and the fear of’s.)](http://www.ewtn.com/Devotionals/prayers/humility.htmLitany of Humility[/url)


#12

You want an easy solution: go to the same priest next time and, after confessing your sins, ask him why that happened before he gives advice. He probably doesn’t remember but it will likely be something minor that will relieve you.

I remember in the seminary that priests would often hear confessions during 30 minutes of adoration just before bedtime; a number of the priests wouldn’t usually give advice if you entered after adoration was done. Basically, they realized that you knew the basic ideas and both of you should get to bed.


#13

I was not telling the OP to go to a different parish, but sometimes we need a different confessor. Some parishes have more than one priest. I for one rarely go to my own parish priest for confession. Our pastor is a great pastor, I just felt more comfortable with a different confessor. It doesn’t mean that I’ve changed parish, I still attend mass in my parish and am part of several committees. Our priest even encouraged us to find the right match. Each person is different.


#14

Maybe he didn’t have any to offer…Does this priest know you - your OCD - your anxiety etc.?

I know this isn’t compulsory

Bingo…

but there were a few people in front of me and they were in ages.

“they were in (confession) ages”…Hyperbole obviously
What does this have to do with anything. You don’t know what was or wasn’t said to them by the priest.

I feel this sounds stupid,

Well - - - - -
Frankly - - - - -
Yes It does…

Sorry…:shrug:

I have slight OCD and anxiety and I am wondering is it this making me paranoid?

IMHO - Bingo…it is this that is making you paranoid.

A funeral mass was just started shortly before it was my turn, maybe the priest felt he needed to be considerate to the funeral mass?

:thumbsup:

But then I feel others were in longer than me?

Again I say - so what? What does that have to do with anything…

I did feel at peace after I was absolved from my sins,

What else do you need?

I think I worry to much about other people and should be concentrating on Jesus?

Yes - and I must confess I do this too.
It is something of a prideful sin…or perhaps envy…or coveting…someone is getting more than me…In any case it is placing too much emphasis on myself and not enough on others.
In the case of what happened with you, the more charitable thing would be to recognize that your short confession allowed another to enter more quickly. It allowed those attending the funeral mass to more fully concentrate.
If father had no advice for you - this could be seen as a good thing; that he thinks you are doing well.
There are a number of positive spins you could put on this…try praying for this - for Jesus and Mary to show you the positives…

Peace
James


#15

Please do not ever compare confession lengths. Once I went to confession before Mass at a shrine and was sitting there waiting for what seemed forever. I thought to myself “The person in there must have not been to Confession in 20 years and he picks before Mass to confess. Now I’m not going to be able to confess before Mass.”

Well, the door opened and out hobbles this lady with a cane who must have bee 90 years old–no kidding. I was floored. Then I thought “She must have confessed 90 years of sins!”

So I went in, made my Confession, and the priest started to talk. And talk. And talk. He even told me how I should remember to exercise and eat right (I had not even remotely confessed anything to do with that). All this time I realized that the person behind me was probably thinking how I had picked before Mass to confess 20 years of sins! When I was finally absolved and dismissed, it was time for Mass and there was a man who had yet to confess. He had to wait until after Mass. And it was because it was the priest who liked to talk!


#16

That happened to me once. I had a few venial sins but yhe priest started talking about his knee operation and how difficult it was moving to this parish recently. Then he started giving me advice on something that had nothing to do with what I confessed. I was in there so long that I too wondered if the people after me thought I had years worth of sins to confess. i have since learned that many people avoid this priest for this reason.


#17

Liked this post, a reminder that the priest is human. This is why we cannot assume. :thumbsup:


#18

Last confession I went to the priest essentially asked me to hurry up. :smiley:

Heck with it, I got absolved and that was all I cared about.


#19

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