Lately my DH and I am finding the closer we get with God, the more we are under Satan’s radar for what he knows are our weak spots.
For example the girl that was abducted and taken and murdered rather violently…this would be my fear. I’m no where near that part of the country, but then all the correlations to perhaps other serial killers and their method of stalking or waiting or breaking into people’s homes to attack (not just finding victims on the street but that too) this is almost a paralyzing thought to me. That it could happen to anyone.
My DH does not travel for work, so he is there every night, but there was an opportunity that he and my son were going to travel on a mission to help out, however the plans ending up not working out due to my son’s school commitment and various financial obstactles (I told you, we’re under Satan’s radar big time!) but anyway, the thought of him being gone for 5 days…well I almost would have had my mom come out and stay with me! This is nuts!!!
However going back in time to various scriptures such as I think it’s macabees or Tobit where a mother and her sons are fried alive to prove their allegiance with God…I’d like to think that as a Christian I could walk that walk. Or as various saints had to martyr themselves and die horrible deaths. It’s almost to me that the kids in Columbine (that would not renounce God and therefore took a bullet) or women that are brutally attacked and murdered are somehow more “noble” to be able to handle that sort of death, but I know “rationally” that doesn’t make sense.
When we say the Our Father at mass and the line “keep us from our fears and anxieties” are we not supposed to believe in that? I mean I ALWAYS say “please protect me and my family” …“please keep us safe” …I always say that…walking to my car if I feel uneasy I say that…should I not trust in that? Do things just happen even if it’s one of your greatest fears? I do feel the closer I am getting to God that Satan will somehow use this weakness and test me with it…to see how far it can go and that really concerns me.
I can honestly say the tragedy that people suffered in 9-11 or going down in a plane crash and then hearing that the people aboard were some of the most devout and God driven people…I feel I could handle that…but my particular fear…no, I don’t feel I can handle that yet I feel like that is what can happen b/c of being under the radar.
We plan to discuss this with our priest as well…but I was really wanting some other folks perspective on this…is this a fear of yours…and if so how do you cope? Or how do you not think about these things?
One of the other things is currently at my job we are exposed to nonstop CNN or Fox or whatever and that doesn’t help, b/c on my time and weekends we never really watch the news, In fact there was a time ago back in '04 that we went tv free for about 5 mos to draw us closer to each other and just enjoy the “peace”…it was during that time that I was really able to hear God’s voice and hear him guide me towards leaving my unsatisfying job and pursue a job in nursing. I never really worried about such things, b/c I wasn’t exposed…and really the things that I worry about are really in essence happening in other parts of the country…whether that really matters or not, I don’t know…evil knows no bounds and that’s what I guess I worry about, but see even in now changing my career (I start school in a couple months) I fear that in nursing perhaps “there” I will encounter a stalker type…or going from the hospital to my car if it’s late…all sorts of things…I really need help with this!
Can you point me towards some scripture that would help, or even if anyone has read a Max Lucado book that deals with specifically this. I’ve read several like “Eye of the Storm” and “Next door Savior” and “Come Thirsty”…but they’re not helping…and this is really become a recent “irrational” fear…I mean always there but not so much to the surface that it is now.
Sorry so long…and thanks for any advice.