My wife and I live in my mother-in-law’s house. A little while ago my Wife and her mother had an argument. Her mother asked her to do something and my wife said she’ll do it later. But her mother asked 2 more times and my wife blew up and yelled at her mother. Her mother got stern back and a fight broke out so her mother left. I told my wife she shouldn’t have yelled at her mom, even if her mom was nagging, she could have been maybe a little stern or politly said “please stay out of my buisness mom.” But she yelled instead. Well now my wife is FURIOUS with me and wants me to apologize. She said I took her mother’s side. I said she still should not have blown up at her mom because she’s her mother. But my wife got even more mad at me. What do I do? She’s furious right now! Am I wrong to have said what I said? Please I’ll take any advice, thanks.
For me personally, I would never yell at my parents no matter how angry I was. To me there is a respect issue here. May be the way I was raised. Your wife is the one who owes both YOU and her MOTHER the apology. Give her space and when she calms down, try explaining how you feel. There is nothing wrong with you telling her how you feel. She may not like it, but ultimately she will realize you are right.
~ Kathy ~
move out and get your own home, even if it’s a one bedroom flat in a poor neighborhood. If your mother-in-law needs live-in help hire someone.
My wife and I lived with my parents for about 5-6 months. Even though it was only to be a short stay the stress was unbelievable. Their house their rules. The best thing to do is move out. It may interfer with your plans whatever they are but once your out you’ll see it was worth it.
Your wife’s mother should keep her mouth shut and recognize she is at her daughter’s home and not her own. You are the one that needs to apologize to your wife. You didn’t stick up for your wife, when she is right. Two women can’t be under the same roof, both telling each other what the other ought to do. A cat fight will always come out of it. Shame on you for not sticking up for your own wife.
[quote=piety101]Your wife’s mother should keep her mouth shut and recognize she is at her daughter’s home and not her own. You are the one that needs to apologize to your wife. You didn’t stick up for your wife, when she is right. Two women can’t be under the same roof, both telling each other what the other ought to do. A cat fight will always come out of it. Shame on you for not sticking up for your own wife.
I think you need to re-read it, the couple is staying at the mother’s home, it is MOM’s house.
Now first of all the wife forgot the fourth commandment, and the husband forgot that the husband and wife are one.
The best way to handle the situation, in my opinion would have been for the husband to quietly support the wife, while reminding her of the fourth commandment, and then letting the mother and daughter work things out on their own.
If all else fails, the move out with your wife, remember you are to cleave to her and she to you forsaking ALL others.
- Move out (with your wife of course)
2)Tell the mother-in-law to stay out of your life (politely of course)
3)Apologize to your wife (go to confession to tell the priest it wasn’t sincre of course;) ). Buy the wife a dinner or take her out to a movie, your wife will allways be right (in her own mind) and the sooner you learn it the better off you’ll be. You’ll have lots more time to fight when you get older and the mother-in-law will hopefully live elswhere by then! Pick your battles so you win the war.
I live in a rental house on my wife’s grandma’s place. Her brothers live next door, the grandma is next door, her father and mother are next door. (various houses on the same property) We are looking for a house to move to ASAP! You just can’t live close to family without problems. It’s nice to live nearby just not next door!
PS, my wifes grandma is a devout anti-Catholic bigot and her family is disfunctional. Purgatory is real, I know, I live in it!:bigyikes:
I suppose if they were a Christian/Catholic family it might be better to live here without the “Have it your way” Burger King theology of the Protestants. (Hold the works, Hold the Baptism, Extra love, Add some schism, Add the Pill!)
My mistake. If it was the mother’s house, then your wife had no cause to rant off at her mother in her own home. Tell your wife to cool her jets or mama might just show her the door. As I said you can’t have two women under one roof, each telling the other what is right to do in the home. It only ends in a catfight.
My advice, move out and get your own apartment. Otherwise eat humble pie and bite the bullet until you do leave. It's MAMA'S house, not yours. :(
As long as you corrected your wife in love it is your responsibility to do so. As you described the event, what your wife did was wrong.
and the husband forgot that the husband and wife are one
But the husband is supposed to be the head (even though no one likes that part of Scripture anymore).
Being Right is overrated in a marriage.
Often you can Be Right, or you can Be At Peace with your spouse.
As Alan said, you can be right, or you can be happy. Your choice.
Early in our marriage my husband tried to shush me will I was having an argument with my mom -it’s been 14 years and he’s never done it again. My advise? Stay out of it.
LOL! Well thanks for all the help except for you Piety. I see your suspended, I can only wonder why from all of your posts. Actulaly, is your first name Eugene?
Things are now resolved so thanks again for all your help.