I’m in a low point today and just need help. I went to confession this morning, but afterwards was (and still am) being hit with horrible thoughts (mostly along the lines of [expletive] Christ) and even though the priest in confession gave me some good advice to deal with them I still feel like I’m losing my mind and my soul even then. I’m just terrified that somehow I’m sinning without wanting to. I just want these thoughts to go away. I want to love God without fear.
Praying for you.
Lord, please send your peace and love to Pat. Pour your spirit upon her and send the spirit of condemnation and doubt out of her, then fill her with your love. Help her to rest in You.
May the Lord bless you and keep you.
May the Lord make his face to shine upon you,
and be gracious to you.
May the Lord lift up his countenance upon you,
and give you peace.
Don’t get too caught up in your sins. If you catch yourself doing it try to stop yourself. It sounds to me like this has been a bad habit for you for a while, and habits take a long time to change. Pray that the Lord will help you, but in the meanwhile don’t despair. While its a sin its not something you are choosing to do, and so its only indirectly voluntary. God was offended that you formed the habit, but you’ve already confessed that and so that sin is gone. He’s not going to be mad that you are thinking thought you don’t want to think, because its not something you’re choosing to do. Do your best to break the habit and pray, there’s not much else you can do. I hope this helps and I’ll be praying for you
What I do, I do not understand. For I do not do what I want, but I do what I hate. Romans 7:15
These are St. Paul’s words about himself. Sounds like he had the same problem as you. We’ll say a prayer to him for you.
God has forgiven you this very day! Be at peace.
St. Faustina in her Diary experienced similiar to what you are going thru.
"I was tormented by terrible temptations all day; blasphemies thrust themselves upon my lips, and I felt an aversion for everything that is holy and godlike. Yet I struggled throughout the day. …a feeling of aversion and discouragement filled by soul, … Jesus said to me, the inner peace that you have is a grace, and suddenly He was gone. I felt happy and unaccountable peaceful. Really, for so much peace to return within a moment - is a thing only Jesus can do.
Just a thought that might help.
I went through the same thing you are going through my friend. Blasphemous thoughts and all. I found it as a trial God is allowing to purify you. Please keep praying, i went like this for about a month until i realized they were diminishing! Prayer a Rosary, a lot of prayer, He is with you. I know how painful this can be, The Lord truly lifted the burden of blasphemous thoughts. In Christ we are more than conquerors! God Bless you my friend!! You will see the improvement, you can always drop into the Ocd /Scrupulosity group here for help!
My thoughts and prayers are with you! I am going through a similar struggle reprogramming mybrain after years of abuse. It can be difficult, but It is good that you are going to confession. It is a good step towards the healing process:)) The healing may take some time, but push through with HIS guidance and you will get better.