Please help


#1

My husband and I got married (a civil invalid marriage) on August 30th. Our marriege certificate says August 30th. After coming in to the church, we both received annulments and were spiritually married on December 18th. I know that our marriage is December 18th. The problem is, when we received our beautiful nuptual mass, did it back date?


#2

Sounds to me like you get to celebrate twice each year–a civil marriage date of August 30th, and a convalidation–sacramental marriage–date of December 18th.


#3

I too Vic, was in your boat too. I asked a priest about this and he said you we could use our civil marriage as our marriage date if we wanted.

What we do though is celebrate our marriage within the Church.


#4

My husband feels that we should not be celebrating the 30th because it was an invalid marriage and it would be celebrating scandal in the church


#5

Celebrate your Church marriage as my wife and I do then.


#6

No back dating…I’ve been where you are. We celebrate our Sacramental wedding anniversary to a greater degree than our secular wedding anniversary. My wife and I have been married three times…to each other…common law…civil law…and Thee Law. The third is the one we cherish and really count.


#7

We were married outside the church in Feb. '91and convalidated our marriage July '04. We celebrate both anniversarys. Even though we were married outside the church in 91 that day was/is very special to me. God knows our hearts, and I know he knew I meant every word of my vows even if it would take time to lead me back home to my faith.

Our convalidation is also dear to my heart. So I can’t imagine not celebrating that either. So we celebrate both.


#8

[quote=vicia3]My husband and I got married (a civil invalid marriage) on August 30th. Our marriege certificate says August 30th. After coming in to the church, we both received annulments and were spiritually married on December 18th. I know that our marriage is December 18th. The problem is, when we received our beautiful nuptual mass, did it back date?
[/quote]

You make an interesting comment that no one has commented on. What do you mean by “coming into the Church”? Were you not Catholic before that?

If you were not Catholic before that, then it would be incorrect to say that your marriage was invalid. If you were not Catholic, you were not required by the Church to follow the form of the Church. Your marriage would be valid, but not sacramental if it was, for example, before a Justice of the Peace.

If it was before a minister, then I would let someone with a stronger background than mine in Sacramental Theology answer whether or not the Church would consider it a sacramental marriage as of 8/30. Considering that the Church requires those married in other Christian Churches and subsequently divorced to go through an annulment proceeding before being married in the Catholic church subsequently, it may be considered not only valid but sacramental.


#9

[quote=otm]You make an interesting comment that no one has commented on. What do you mean by “coming into the Church”? Were you not Catholic before that?

If you were not Catholic before that, then it would be incorrect to say that your marriage was invalid. If you were not Catholic, you were not required by the Church to follow the form of the Church. Your marriage would be valid, but not sacramental if it was, for example, before a Justice of the Peace.

If it was before a minister, then I would let someone with a stronger background than mine in Sacramental Theology answer whether or not the Church would consider it a sacramental marriage as of 8/30. Considering that the Church requires those married in other Christian Churches and subsequently divorced to go through an annulment proceeding before being married in the Catholic church subsequently, it may be considered not only valid but sacramental.
[/quote]

I was baptized Catholic, but never taught the religion. My husband was a fallen away Catholic. We were both married before. He was married in the Church and I was married by the Justice of the Peace. Mine was lack of form. His was annulled after our civil marriage. He knew that he was not free to marry. I did not understand.


#10

My dh and I also have 2 anniversaries to celebrate–our legal marriage and our sacramental marriage. I don’t think you need to abandon the one for the other, but I can understand how your dh feels about it. If he is uncomfortable celebrating your legal only marriage anniversary because of a tender conscience, that is good enough reason to not celebrate it. Just give it some time. In a few years he might see that it’s not all that important now that your marriage has been regularized and the whole thing is settled. If he is really bothered by your legal marriage, he should talk to his confessor who will no doubt tell your dh that he doesn’t have to hold the sin he feels he is guilty of against himself for the rest of his life, dear man.


closed #11

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