I wish I had more friends. Like, I wish there were more people to do things with, like go out to eat, see movies with, chat about books.
Everyone has moved away or is moving away soon. My folks worry that I spend too much time alone in my room reading, which is all I do, really. There’s my co-workers, but if I’m not somehow turned off by their sinful lifestyles then they’re married with other obligations, such as kids and cooking.
I know Jesus is my friend. I know he’s my best friend, but I sometimes wonder, “If my relationship with God is truly a relationship, do I even know how relationships operate?” I haven’t had one in so long.
I’m just lonely right now. The devil is trying to weaken my defenses, I’m sure.
I guess I should cherish this time as a purgative stage of some sort, allowing me to bear this cross with our lonely Lord, and perhaps just grow in prayer.
I feel you brother, you are not alone with this struggle. I read onetime that the devil wants to isolate people from the community little by little. Try to get involved with Parish activities like Bible Study, this might open opportunities for you. Be encouraged and ask God to help you. Today is the feast of st. Joseph, ask for his intercession and tell Jesus about all of your sufferings just like you told us and ask for his help and blessing.
You shouldn’t feel that you’re ‘wasting bandwidth’-it’s good to vent sometimes!
I kind of feel the same way you are-I always feel alone, too. I’m not working right now-haven’t been since last August, when my temp job ended. I’ve been living on checks that came from property tax rebates, car insurance rebates, and IRA checks.
I spend most of my time in the library, either using my laptop computer or reading books off the shelves. I live by myself, but my two sisters are on my case, wanting to sell our family home (where I still live). I haven’t seen them since last November…Sundays are ‘an adventure of escape’, trying to stay one step ahead of them. I’m trying to get into a subsidized apartment, but all the red tape and paperwork is driving me NUTS!
I go to the Traditional Latin Mass on Sundays in a small chapel. The priests who come to say Mass [and hear confessions if they come early enough] are from out of town, and don’t stick around to talk afterwards. The only things I do now are Adoration and the Latin Mass. I’m not much into ‘volunteer’ stuff…not the ‘organizing’ type.
I have a few friends, but they’re busy with their own lives, and I don’t want to be a ‘fifth wheel’ and ‘beg’ for their company. I have a good friend who is overseas [England], but he’s a priest, and he has his own busy life-I’m glad I can write him and get an occasional phone call from him. I haven’t seen him in nearly ten years.
I used to have a dog, but I had to put my last one to sleep three years ago when she suddenly got sick with a blood disorder. I’d like to have a new dog, but I have no money to care for one.
I guess I’m like you, Epistemes…a solitary type. So, vent away if you want-I don’t mind!
I agree with “TrueFaithSeeker”, “Ep”. You should think about getting involved in parish ministries. You will be amazed at how many new people you will meet. And U R not “wasting bandwidth”. Now come on, cheer up!
Hey, how was the retreat? If you posted about it… I missed it.