Please pray for me and my heavy cross(es)


#1

Hey

I’ll try to make this short and sweet. It is Christmas Eve and I am extremely depressed. I guess my problems are really getting to me tonight. Currently, I have two very heavy crosses to carry: A mental illness and Fibromyalgia (a chronic pain disease). Both are very hard to live with. My mental diagnoses is Bi-Polar Mania with psychotic features. The biggest problem with my mental illness is that I have major social anixety. Somtimes it gets very bad, but sometimes it’s not that bad. It really depends on who I am around.

Tomorrow (Christmas day), I’m supposed to go to be with my family, but I really don’t want to go. I have’nt seen my whole family in like 1.5 years. I don’t feel comfortable around them. I feel like they are all on a different plateau in life. I guess my diseases have really affected my self esteem and self worth. I just don’t feel like they have a genuine love for me; especially my cousins.

Is it a sin to not go be with my family tomorrow? Would God hold it against me?

I am working on my social anxiety by going to group therapy, but I need time. Hopefully, with practice, I can overcome this cross.

I’d be very grateful for your prayers.

Thanks for reading,

-Nathan


#2

You should always be with your family even if it is against your wishes, you never know when the last time you will see one of them will be and you don’t want to regret not visiting. I’d go anyway, what could it hurt. I know you have a mental illness but for the esteem issues, just tell yourself your a great guy and what other people think doesn’t matter. Don’t worry about what they think or are thinking. Just have a good time. I hope I helped.


#3

Hey, I’ll pray for you :slight_smile:
Maybe a suggestion - pray a Rosary before going. Also, I read in St. Faustina’s Diary:Divine Mercy in My Soul that Jesus said something along the lines of “don’t rely on creatures, rely only on me” and she would often feel all alone, misunderstood, or suffering. It helps me to remember this advice and to stop genuinely expecting compassion from others; in this way, I can genuinely touched when I unexpectedly receive it and I have something to offer Christ in the nature of redemptive suffering when I don’t - I can say something in my mind like “Jesus, I endure this for you” copying the words of her diary.

P.S. I know someone who had the same diagnosis that you have, prayer, particularly the Rosary and Daily Mass help extraordinarily by giving supernatural help but also by providing a calming/relaxing outlet for the mind - and John Nash in a Beautiful Mind eventually figured out how to live succesfully with his mental illness not by drugs but by logical reasoning (contrary to the message given by the movie) Here’s info on Spirituality and Mental Illness by the Canadian Mental Health Association that may provide info on how people with a strong faith have better outcomes with mental illness cmha.bc.ca/files/12.pdf

Take Care, and Merry Christmas! Jesus loves you more that you can ever imagine, and if you carry this blessing of a cross triumphantly, you do not have any idea of what glories away you in Heaven

*Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with Thee. Blessed art Thou among women and blessed is the fruit of Thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen. *

Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse. Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse. Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse.

For the sake of his sorrowful passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world! For the sake of his sorrowful passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world! For the sake of his sorrowful passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world!

O Mary, conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee!
Sorrowful and Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us!

*Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with Thee. Blessed art Thou among women and blessed is the fruit of Thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen. *


#4

Dear Nathan, what Chaz said.

I guess some people don’t know how to cope with illness of any kind sometimes. I have such a little problem compared to you. I can’t eat anything with any trace of wheat (or barley, oats rye, but it’s the wheat that’s in so many things even in trace quantities.) And at times I’ve felt such a nuisance for that. I have Celiac disease which is nothing like the seriousness of yours…so I know what it feels like even with my small problem when it rains on others’ parades, like when even family forget the problem.

So I know a little of how it feels to have issues different to anyone elses, and ther’ve been times my eyes have been full of tears because I’ve felt such a nuisance. But they do love me.

I don’t know how I’d cope with your issues. You have to try, Love. I understand how the subtle reaction of anyone in your family pulling away from you in one way or other, because you are so senstive about your issues, expecially the mental health one, would shut your heart down. So I pray Nathan that you can manage to overlook their limitations, because, Love, it’s *their limitations *that are at issue here, not yours, and allow yourself to find love and affirmation in the ones to whom you are genuinely dear.

I pray you will go in, not feeling an outsider or somehow unworthy or unaccepted, and instead project a gently warm atmosphere so that the others can accept you for the valuable person you really are. Because you know what, most people do accept us as what we project of ourselves, and you dear boy project your sense of unworthiness or of rejection. They may not get it straight away, but I pray the pattern of relationships will begin to change as you begin to truly know what a precious, loved child of God you are. Read some of Isaiah 52 -53 Take special note of verses 13-15 of Isaiah 52, then read through to the end of Isaiah 53.

I think in this story of Jesus’ life and the result of His life, is your story, Nathan

With love, Trishie


#5

Praying for you - I know the pain situation and depression together can be crippling. Have faith and pray, even if it seems futile at that point, it does help regardless.


#6

Thanks for your prayers and replies!

-Nathan


#7

No the feeling prayers friend.


#8

I am praying very hard for you. My battles are many as well. My husband has chronic pain, pancreatic cancer, and over the last six months we have lost our home to foreclosure, filed for bankruptcy, I cannot find employment (thus, uninsured) and my 84 yr old mother lives with us. I battle severe depression…although my battles seem so small compared to yours…we are all fighting battles of many kinds. I find it difficult to find something to be grateful for. I ran across this link on EWTN ewtn.com/library/HUMANITY/zgratitude.HTM
Know that I am praying for you and will keep you in my prayer, my dear friend.
Diane


#9

I pray that your find strength in your struggles.


#10

Praying for you and your struggles and that you will peace and joy this season…


#11

Praying for the Holy Spirit to guide you and for your peace of mind and good health! Merry Christmas!


#12

Nathan, please God you have chosen the courageous decision? We hope and pray you are not sad today. Take care of yourself


#13

Hello everyone,

I just wanted to say that your prayers have really helped me!!!

Tonight, I feel peace and some happiness. I have made some changes for the better. They may be small, but they are really going to help me spiritually, mentally and physically.

Ya know, prayers really do work!!

Thank you all so much,

God bless you,

Nathan =)

:thumbsup:


#14

Seeds are small, Nathan, but can grow into big plants and even trees! :slight_smile:

We will keep you in our prayers, and please let us know if you need another burst of prayers anytime.

God bless you! And I thank Him for His love and help to you. :slight_smile:


#15

AMEN…I could not find better words of expression. Keeping you in prayer and love and concern…May God grant you comfort and may the Holy Spirit surround you with its light of Love.
Diane


#16

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