Dear brothers and sisters in Christ,
I will briefly tell you my story and where I am up to at this moment. Tomorrow I will be accompanying this year’s RCIA candidates to our Cathedral, where they will meet the Bishop, in preparation for their reception into the Church at the Easter Vigil.
Among these candidates will be my sponsee, my very best friend of many years, who is the Godfather of my daughter and the man whom I hope to marry someday. I live with this man, along with my 10 year old daughter and his three children, who trust me and look on me as mother. Both this man and I are survivors of domestic violence and, as such, our children have suffered greatly. Together, we are safe and happy, and live in a Godly home.
Our Priest knows us both very well and has blessed our relationship and our love for each other. The trouble is, after all the beatings and abuse I took before and after my daughter was born ten years ago, I left my husband, with the little one, and ran away, 250 miles from home, to begin a new life. My daughter is now ten. in 2009 I was received into the Catholic Church, along with my daughter.
Just before our reception into the Church, I received an email, via Facebook, from my ex husband, whom I had really loved. He told me he was dying of cancer of the stomach, and please would I meet him. He was so sorry for all he had done to me, and whilst I had been pregnant, our daughter too. He came down via coach to meet myself and our daughter. He asked me to remarry him, as his dying wish, and so I did. My daughter cried all the way through the ceremony.
Then it became clear, he would come to visit us from his home 250 miles away, that he was ill due to his drug abuse. When I was married to him before, I had abused drugs too, but this was in the 1990’s. He started to be SO cruel in his behaviour again, making me watch porn, and stay up all night with him. Bearing in mind his previous treatment of me, I was afraid to disagree with him. He even kept little one up all night, and she missed school many times. He was SO scathing of my Catholic faith.
I married him in the State Registry Office, in secret, in October 2009, and have since broken ties with him again (he lied to me to get me to marry him) and have asked the court here in the UK to grant an Annulment. This was in July 2010, and he refuses to co-operate now. It looks like I will have to wait until 2014 to be free of him, he is still trying to ruin my life, and my daughter has to have special protection when she is at school.
I ask you to pray for me, dear friends. Must I stay married to a man who has abused and beaten me and who has lied to me? I pray that he will find salvation, and happiness, and a life away from my daughter and myself. God, forgive me my sins, I am truly sorry.