*I don’t know, I feel like my dh and I are going through a rough patch. Nothing extraordinary, but little things that add up over time…and then feelings are hurt, namely mine. I have tried to be a good wife, and my husband is a good husband and father. I just don’t feel appreciated, and frankly, that has been the **one thing **that has always remained in our marriage. It’s not a ‘constant,’ but it is the one thing that creeps back up every so often.
I think it’s important to thank your spouse for then he/she goes out of his/her way for you. It’s important to acknowledge the effort, I do this for my husband. If he makes dinner, I always thank him. If he cleans my car, I thank him…it goes a long way, believe me. He really loves when I acknowledge the things he does…has a big smile, as if he won a prize. :o But, I guess I don’t deserve the same respect. :shrug: I go out of my way for my husband a lot…and I’m not looking for a grandiose ‘thank you,’ or anything…but what I mean is that I don’t expect to be criticized for helping out. Like I could have done it ‘this or that way.’ Example, my dh asked me to find him a doctor, and to arrange an appt for him (he doesn’t like doing these things) This took me a lot of time today, I am working this morning, and had to call the insurance company, to make sure these docs were in network…then I had to call the docs back, and make the appt. I call my dh happy that I found him a good doc close to home, and he was like…‘why did you pick THAT time?’ I explained, and then stopped talking. He sensed that I wasn’t happy…he explained why he said that, apologized…
I don’t want to hear I’m sorry anymore…just appreciate me, is that so much to ask? Again, all things considered, we love each other and have a good marriage, but this is THEE ONE THING that never seems to go away for good. He tries for a while, and then back again to square one. Like today.
So, we talked today…and he profusely apologized…I accepted. I just feel sad this week…and don’t want to hold a grudge, which I won’t. But, it’s hard to just keep pushing my feelings aside on this issue over and over. Apologize, fine…but change the behavior.
He was raised like this, sadly. His mom tolerating his alcoholic father, who hit the kids nightly, according to my dh. She paints him as a saint though. :rolleyes: I say nothing. But, I know that if a man sees his dad treat his mom badly, it isn’t good. I am not his mom, though…and I will not tolerate this anymore. I’m over it, seriously.
I’m very sad right now and don’t like sharing things like this on here, but I can’t turn to people I know in the family, or friends of ours…they wouldn’t be objective, or Catholic really, in their responses to me, for the most part. My husband said to me as he was heading to work…You know I love you…this is just how I think…I analyze details, and I guess I forget to be mindful of your feelings. I accepted his apology, but again, I’m over this. It has gone on like this for years…and I just tolerate it. I am done tolerating this and I told him so.
Please pray that this changes. Thanks for listening. *