Please Pray for my Marriage


#1

Hello all! Here I am once again…in need of your support. I feel like my marriage is over, and my wife has no desire to save it. I’ve done some pretty horrible things to hurt her in the past, but have gone before God and asked for forgiveness. I have asked her for forgiveness, but she has yet to do so. We have become very distant from one another this year. I feel like we are complete strangers trying to force a marriage to work. I continue to pray that God save our mariage so that we can “renew” it and be happy again. We have two very young children, a girl and a boy. It breaks my heart to think that I may not have them around everyday. I come from a divorced home, and it’s not the greatest thing I’ve experienced. I partly agree with those who say "don’t stay together for the kids, cuz in the end they will suffer, and at times I wanna be selfish and feel like I’d put up with the misery just to be a part of my kids’ lives. I’ve failed her as a husband thru my infidelities, but I have been the best father I could possibly be. I’ve expressed to her that I wanna make things right again, and do what I must to earn her trust back. I feel that I’ve done a really good job at being extremely transparent to her. She knows my every move, and can go thru my things at anytime…I have nothing to hide anymore. She hates me though. She tells me that she’s just taken over with anger and hate towards me for everything I have done to her. I tried to explain to her that she is not a bad person, that she has become who she is now because of my actions. I’m not justifying her treating me like the doormat, but I completely understand that she has turned into this angry person because of me. It kills me that she has lost faith because of the things I have done. I pray that God soften her heart, and that she accept him back into her life. I never thought I was capable of committing the acts that I did, but I did. I sought the counseling of a priest, I did my penance and felt pretty good abnout things. I do struggle with temptation, as I think we all do, but I have not acted on it. I still have some work to do, and I have faith that God will guide me to the right path. I’ve been going to pray in silence on my lunch break…it’s just me and Jesus…and I lay it all down at his feet. It’s really hard dealing with her harsh treatment, but I’m not about to leave my children. My mother and father split when I was very young due to my mom’s problems, and I can’t say my relationship with her is perfect. I do love her, but I can tell it’s not the way most sons love their mothers. I do not want my kids to feel that way about me. My wife told me she wants a divorce last night. I felt it coming, but didn’t want to hear it. I asked her to think it over, and we’d talk about it in a few days. I spent most of today trying to find out if our insurance covers a marriage counselor…it does, so I think I’ll take the first step and go see what she has to say. I don’t think my wife is ready/willing to speak to anybody. I think she’s just ready to give up and move on without me in her life…and that really hurts. But I know that the pain I feel is next to nothing compared to all of the damage I have caused. I’ve read so many things online, and I know I shouldn’t beat myself up about my actions. I really and truly feel that God has forgiven me, but my wife cannot come to do it. So, I ask that if you come across this, please offer up a prayer that the Lord mend this broken marriage, that he open our hearts and minds to love and serve one another like husband and wife should, but most of all that His will be done. I just hope that His will doesn’t consist of a divorce…pardon my ignorance should that not be part of it. Thank You!


#2

Prayer just sent. :signofcross:


#3

Praying for you and your family.Father I ask that these wounds be healed and some how this couple can ,in time,learn to rebuild trust and love one another as Christ loves His church.That they can lay down their lives for one another,to give up anything that would cause hurt and pain for the sake of the other.In the name of Jesus,Your Son I pray.


#4

Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen


#5

www.retrouvaille.org

:gopray:


#6

[quote="BryanB, post:1, topic:219674"]
I don't think my wife is ready/willing to speak to anybody. I think she's just ready to give up and move on without me in her life....and that really hurts.

[/quote]

There's a saying "Marriage is for life, but divorce is forever". There is no such thing as "moving on" without the person you married, especially when you have two children. I can see you know that, and I hope your wife realizes it before setting out and learning the hard way.

So, I ask that if you come across this, please offer up a prayer that the Lord mend this broken marriage, that he open our hearts and minds to love and serve one another like husband and wife should, but most of all that His will be done. I just hope that His will doesn't consist of a divorce....pardon my ignorance should that not be part of it. Thank You!

:thumbsup: :gopray2:


#7

I know this is probably not a consolation but before a divorce, perhaps seperating for a little while will give her the space she needs to heal. And then you can continue your marriage.

My heart bleeds for you and I know God has already forgiven you, you sound so sincere in your regret. However, let me explain where your wife is coming from. I will use an analogy. If an unwed woman has sex and becomes pregnant, all she has to do is go to confession and she is forgiven. However, that does not change the fact a baby is on the way and although she has received absolution, she still needs to deal with the consequences of her sin. So although God has forgiven you, there is still consequence to your sin. Mainly your wife's hurt feeling. I am sure you heard it all from her so there is no point in me trying to guess them all

God Bless

CM


#8

Dear Bryan, The mere fact that you have asked others to pray for you tells us so much. You will not be alone in this quest for we will pray for you. I wish you only the best. I know what it is like to feel abandoned. I never have had these problems, yet I know your angst because I am human. God is good and His faith endures forever. Hold on to that. Really that is all you can do. What will be will be.


#9

[quote="BryanB, post:1, topic:219674"]
Hello all! Here I am once again...in need of your support. I feel like my marriage is over, and my wife has no desire to save it. I've done some pretty horrible things to hurt her in the past, but have gone before God and asked for forgiveness. I have asked her for forgiveness, but she has yet to do so. We have become very distant from one another this year. I feel like we are complete strangers trying to force a marriage to work. I continue to pray that God save our mariage so that we can "renew" it and be happy again. We have two very young children, a girl and a boy. It breaks my heart to think that I may not have them around everyday. I come from a divorced home, and it's not the greatest thing I've experienced. I partly agree with those who say "don't stay together for the kids, cuz in the end they will suffer, and at times I wanna be selfish and feel like I'd put up with the misery just to be a part of my kids' lives. I've failed her as a husband thru my infidelities, but I have been the best father I could possibly be. I've expressed to her that I wanna make things right again, and do what I must to earn her trust back. I feel that I've done a really good job at being extremely transparent to her. She knows my every move, and can go thru my things at anytime....I have nothing to hide anymore. She hates me though. She tells me that she's just taken over with anger and hate towards me for everything I have done to her. I tried to explain to her that she is not a bad person, that she has become who she is now because of my actions. I'm not justifying her treating me like the doormat, but I completely understand that she has turned into this angry person because of me. It kills me that she has lost faith because of the things I have done. I pray that God soften her heart, and that she accept him back into her life. I never thought I was capable of committing the acts that I did, but I did. I sought the counseling of a priest, I did my penance and felt pretty good abnout things. I do struggle with temptation, as I think we all do, but I have not acted on it. I still have some work to do, and I have faith that God will guide me to the right path. I've been going to pray in silence on my lunch break....it's just me and Jesus....and I lay it all down at his feet. It's really hard dealing with her harsh treatment, but I'm not about to leave my children. My mother and father split when I was very young due to my mom's problems, and I can't say my relationship with her is perfect. I do love her, but I can tell it's not the way most sons love their mothers. I do not want my kids to feel that way about me. My wife told me she wants a divorce last night. I felt it coming, but didn't want to hear it. I asked her to think it over, and we'd talk about it in a few days. I spent most of today trying to find out if our insurance covers a marriage counselor....it does, so I think I'll take the first step and go see what she has to say. I don't think my wife is ready/willing to speak to anybody. I think she's just ready to give up and move on without me in her life....and that really hurts. But I know that the pain I feel is next to nothing compared to all of the damage I have caused. I've read so many things online, and I know I shouldn't beat myself up about my actions. I really and truly feel that God has forgiven me, but my wife cannot come to do it. So, I ask that if you come across this, please offer up a prayer that the Lord mend this broken marriage, that he open our hearts and minds to love and serve one another like husband and wife should, but most of all that His will be done. I just hope that His will doesn't consist of a divorce....pardon my ignorance should that not be part of it. Thank You!

[/quote]

We'll pray for you. :gopray2::gopray2:


#10

Lord Jesus, please heal their hearts as only you can.

Oh glorious apostle St. Jude, faithful servant and friend of Jesus, the name of the traitor who delivered thy beloved Master into the hands of His enemies has caused thee to be forgotten by many, but the Church honors and invokes thee universally as the patron of hopeless cases--of things despaired of. Pray for Bryan and his wife who are so miserable; make use, I implore thee, of that particular privilege accorded thee of bringing visible and speedy help where help is almost despaired of. Come to their assistance in this great need, that they may receive the consolations and succor of heaven in all my necessities, tribulations and sufferings, particularly for the healing for their broken marriage and relationship, and that they may bless God with thee and all the elect throughout eternity. Amen

Our Father, Who art in heaven,
Hallowed be Thy Name.
Thy Kingdom come.
Thy Will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
Amen.

Glory be to the Father and to
the Son and to the Holy Spirit,
as it was in the beginning, is now
and ever shall be, world without end.
Amen.

Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of death.
Amen.


#11

It’s not just a matter of forgiveness but also of trust. Your wife finds it hard to trust you because if your spouse has betrayed you with infidelities it’s traumatizing. Enough hurt, and a person feelings can become numb, they’re so bruised that the spouse can’t feel anything positive.
As you indicate, though, what’s done is done.

**Your wife needs healing. I hope God can help her to find healing,
and to find the trust to give you a second chance. **

It’s dreadfully difficult to trust someone if they’ve betrayed you, even if you forgive…you’d be watchful of them, not just now but in the years to come. You couldn’t be sure they wouldn’t again even if they plead for you to believe…if not now, in two years, seven years, ten years. It happened once it could happen again, that’s how one would feel.

I ask God for the miracle that is needed to revive your marriage. And I ask God to help you make your conversion ongoing.


#12

It is very hard to live with someone you do not trust. I will pray that your wife can grow to trust you so that you can rebuild your marriage.

In the end, she has to take a step and go on faith that you are committed to her and your family and that she can count on you.

Taben


#13

Well...considering you have only been married just over a year, I would say that your track record for marital fidelity is not good at all, and that your wife has very good grounds for annulment. Have you considered the possibility that you are not the marrying kind? To shatter your spouse's trust so soon in marriage does not bode well for the long run. To be struggling with the temptation of infidelity at the start of marriage (or perhaps even before) speaks volumes about your readiness for marriage.

Love is a verb requiring action, not just some gooey words and flowers. You need counseling even more than forgiveness from your wife here, to find out why you would cheat on her from the get-go. Harsh words, yes, but your actions do have consequences, as you are finding out. It is very hard to re-build trust after repeated infidelity.


#14

[quote="Ailina, post:13, topic:219674"]
Well...considering you have only been married just over a year, I would say that your track record for marital fidelity is not good at all, and that your wife has very good grounds for annulment. Have you considered the possibility that you are not the marrying kind? To shatter your spouse's trust so soon in marriage does not bode well for the long run. To be struggling with the temptation of infidelity at the start of marriage (or perhaps even before) speaks volumes about your readiness for marriage.

Love is a verb requiring action, not just some gooey words and flowers. You need counseling even more than forgiveness from your wife here, to find out why you would cheat on her from the get-go. Harsh words, yes, but your actions do have consequences, as you are finding out. It is very hard to re-build trust after repeated infidelity.

[/quote]

I sort of agree with this, just looking at the tenure of the marriage. But, I wouldn't recommend running to court without truly doing everything you can to save things. OP...have you ever seen the movie, Fireproof? A little corny, but the message is wonderful. Rent it and watch it with your wife. It might help you both visualize what a true marriage should look like. It's so not what we think. It's about sacrifice, and consistency. It's about being like Christ to your spouse. Loving them the way He loves us.

I will be praying that your wife gives the marriage a chance to heal.


#15

[quote="BryanB, post:1, topic:219674"]
Hello all! Here I am once again...in need of your support. I feel like my marriage is over, and my wife has no desire to save it. I've done some pretty horrible things to hurt her in the past, but have gone before God and asked for forgiveness. I have asked her for forgiveness, but she has yet to do so. We have become very distant from one another this year. I feel like we are complete strangers trying to force a marriage to work. I continue to pray that God save our mariage so that we can "renew" it and be happy again. We have two very young children, a girl and a boy. It breaks my heart to think that I may not have them around everyday. I come from a divorced home, and it's not the greatest thing I've experienced. I partly agree with those who say "don't stay together for the kids, cuz in the end they will suffer, and at times I wanna be selfish and feel like I'd put up with the misery just to be a part of my kids' lives. I've failed her as a husband thru my infidelities, but I have been the best father I could possibly be. I've expressed to her that I wanna make things right again, and do what I must to earn her trust back. I feel that I've done a really good job at being extremely transparent to her. She knows my every move, and can go thru my things at anytime....I have nothing to hide anymore. She hates me though. She tells me that she's just taken over with anger and hate towards me for everything I have done to her. I tried to explain to her that she is not a bad person, that she has become who she is now because of my actions. I'm not justifying her treating me like the doormat, but I completely understand that she has turned into this angry person because of me. It kills me that she has lost faith because of the things I have done. I pray that God soften her heart, and that she accept him back into her life. I never thought I was capable of committing the acts that I did, but I did. I sought the counseling of a priest, I did my penance and felt pretty good abnout things. I do struggle with temptation, as I think we all do, but I have not acted on it. I still have some work to do, and I have faith that God will guide me to the right path. I've been going to pray in silence on my lunch break....it's just me and Jesus....and I lay it all down at his feet. It's really hard dealing with her harsh treatment, but I'm not about to leave my children. My mother and father split when I was very young due to my mom's problems, and I can't say my relationship with her is perfect. I do love her, but I can tell it's not the way most sons love their mothers. I do not want my kids to feel that way about me. My wife told me she wants a divorce last night. I felt it coming, but didn't want to hear it. I asked her to think it over, and we'd talk about it in a few days. I spent most of today trying to find out if our insurance covers a marriage counselor....it does, so I think I'll take the first step and go see what she has to say. I don't think my wife is ready/willing to speak to anybody. I think she's just ready to give up and move on without me in her life....and that really hurts. But I know that the pain I feel is next to nothing compared to all of the damage I have caused. I've read so many things online, and I know I shouldn't beat myself up about my actions. I really and truly feel that God has forgiven me, but my wife cannot come to do it. So, I ask that if you come across this, please offer up a prayer that the Lord mend this broken marriage, that he open our hearts and minds to love and serve one another like husband and wife should, but most of all that His will be done. I just hope that His will doesn't consist of a divorce....pardon my ignorance should that not be part of it. Thank You!

[/quote]

You need to watch an absolutely fantastic movie called "Fireproof" it is about a 30-ish couple who is on the brink of divorce. Watch it twice.... three times if you have to. Then follow it's lead. It could very possibly save your marriage and change your life forever. Anyone who has seen it will know what I am talking about.
:thumbsup:


#16

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