Please pray for my severely broken heart


#1

I’m 20 and my now long distance ex girlfriend of 5 months yesterday told me she cheated on and she wants to end things. Things seemed perfectly fine and every day she would tell me how happy she was with me and loved me. She told me she loved me every single day without me saying a word or asking too. I never suspected anything. Then this happened yesterday and it hit me like a load of bricks.

I feel chest pain and so weak in the last 24 hours and I’m lucky to be home with my family for the holidays to help me deal. I knew this girl since I was 6 and everything seemed so perfect. It was really a miracle how I came across her again this past summer and it felt so right. She told me 2 months ago she could never ever do this to me and she wanted to be with me forever ect.

I was going to visit her in 5 days and she told me this yesterday and I did not even see it coming. She told me she was happy with me and wanted to marry someday even. She had 2 long relationships before me and I didn’t even question if she was capable of cheating. Anyway it happened and I am still trying to figure out God’s plan through this but I can’t and I’m hurting so much it’s a physical feeling too. I’ve had break ups before but this girl was different. I actually wanted to spend the rest of my life with her because it just felt right. I guess I was wrong.

I told her in the beginning all I wanted from her was honesty even if it hurts. She wasn’t honest. I didn’t even know she had a guy friend and she wanted to save sex for marriage and I did too yet she had sex with him on the fly and didn’t think about my heart and my love for her!

What’s Ironic is this time last year but a few weeks before now, my last girlfriend cheated on me too. I am thinking I shouldn’t date around the fall anymore because I got cheated on twice right before Christmas.

I learned my way the last time this happened and I felt this time it was for real because I felt God led me too her. I feel hurt that he would let this happen a second time and I can’t figure out what I can learn from this yet again with someone so much more closer to my heart and my first friend in life period.

I want to be closer to God but I want to feel that he will help me through this too.

I’m lost and hurt and am trying to move on. Please pray for me.
I will be going to mass in 45 minutes because all I need is to feel God’s presence right now. I could use any advice too.


#2

I’m so sorry. :frowning: I’ve been there, too. Sounds like mass is just what you need right now. I’m praying for you.


#3

thank you so much!


#4

I ask the Lord to help you through the shock and distress of being betrayed, and the loss of someone so dear to you. It is difficult to get over but I ask Jesus to be with you throughout. God may indeed have wished this relationship, but she is in charge of her will and actions, so she has of course betrayed Him as well. Jesus needs your comfort too, in the form of prayer for this girl’s soul and future.

I’m glad you’re with your family. There’s not much anyone can say or do but I am going to Mass soon myself and will pray for you then also. Be kind and patient with yourself as you try to and gradually begin to recover from this break-up and betrayal.
Jesus please heal his heart and in the right time, lead him to one You trust to be a wonderful wife for him.

My best wishes, Trishie


#5

I am so sorry this happened to you. I’m also sorry that your girlfriend made such a foolish choice… you seem like a great guy. My advice would be to try to see this as a blessing in disguise. A woman who says she loves you for months, wants to marry you etc. etc. and then turns around and has sex with someone on the fly is NOT wife material. You deserve so much better than that… there are LOTS of wonderful Catholic girls who would never do that to you. There will be one who says she loves you and means it. Wait for that girl.

I will pray your heart heals.


#6

If you are having chest pains, have you seen a doctor?


#7

I know exactly how you feel, same thing happened to me minus the long distance part. Saw/see each other everyday, which I think makes it harder. Don’t despair like I did, it just makes you feel worse. I guess you could say I’m still trying not to despair and wallow depression. I’ve found that the more you think about it, and sit and focus on sad thoughts and how sad and depressed you are makes it worse. Yeah i know, pretty obvious huh. Took me a while to figure that out though. Things will get better. Try to look for the Blessings in this. Like Yellowbird said, a person who does this is not wife material So look at this as a Blessing, think how much worse that would have been if you were married and had children.

Its great that youre going to Mass! I agree thats probably the best thing for you right now. Just keep praying, and saying Jesus I Trust In You! I suggest praying the Chaplet of Divine Mercy, not only for yourself but for her. If you dont know how to pray it, or would just like to talk more about this, please feel free to PM (personal message) or e-mail me. Don’t worry, you’ll get through this. What doesnt kill ya only makes you stronger. P.s. - I got and still get chest pains too. But I do suggest you go see a doctor if it persists. May the Blessings of Almighty God Be with you this Holy Advent Season!
Jacob :signofcross:


#8

It’s called heart ache, I get it when I’m down.I get a head ache too. It’s not medical


#9

Chaz, I am so sorry that you’re going through this. I have been through it myself, and I know how much it hurts. I agree with previous posters who said that despite the pain, it’s better that you discovered her true character now, rather than after marriage.

I will glady pray for your emotional healing, and also that God will lead you to a woman who is ready and willing to commit and be faithful.

Through it all, lean on Christ … he is eternally faithful and will never let you down!

:hug1:


#10

Thank you Morwenna. All of you guys on here have really made me feel so much better and at home. Other than my family. This forum is all I can confide in right now as my ex really was my only close friend at the moment.


#11

I went through a similar situation (although non-sexual) myself some time ago, and I very much agree with what everyone has been saying here. Think of it this way, would you rather this happen to you now and learn the persons true character or have it happen 5-10 years or so in the future when you’re married, possibly with children, and even more attached emotionally?

But I know how much it hurts right now. :frowning: My prayers are with you, and if you ever need anyone to talk to about it all just let me know.


#12

Thanks, that’s true.


#13

Praying for you, and compassion for you as you endure disappointment and an aching heart.


#14

Thank you


#15

This will be a slow process but I’m already feeling better. I just wish I could have a relationship last more than 6 months sometime. That hasn’t happened in my life and I keep praying for patience and hope because at times like this it’s easy for me to think I’ll be alone the rest of my life.

Everyone, thanks for your prayers!


#16

I’m so sorry, sweetie.

Remember, put your trust in God first. He will lead you to the right partner. It would be much worse for you were you to marry the wrong woman.


#17

Thank you, it’s just hard to be trusting sometimes because he did lead me to her. If it weren’t for the voice in my head saying me to e-mail her after years, this relationship (current heartbreak) wouldn’t have happened. It’s easy to feel deceived yet again but God must be wanting me to learn something from being cheated on not once but twice with the 2nd time being a girl I loved more than any other and she was my first friend in this life and never forgot. Yet I must move on. That is the toughest thing is losing not a girlfriend but a good friend.

I just hope the next relationship doesn’t end this way if it does end, I hope we would end on good terms, cheating is the worst end of all.

I feel I am ready for a serious commitment with a women who would love me the same and never turn back on it and would be as faithful as me, however hopes of finding her are wearing thin right now. I know I am just 20 though and the Lord doesn’t feel I’m ready for her yet. I just need to pray for healing and patience yet again.


#18

First of all, I don’t buy into the idea that God intends for people to be cheated on. Please read Sirach 15 and realize that this is your ex girlfriend’s fault and not God’s.

Second, you seemed stressed and fearful that the next relationship will end up with the same results as this one - and the past one. If so, you need to examine if there is some pattern in your relationships - the type of women, where you meet them (I know you mentioned this one was a childhood friend), expectations you have of them or they of you, and whether or not you may actually be too nice (I know this sounds strange, but people do need to stick up for themselves). Are these women Catholic? What attracted you to them in the first place, and/or they to you?

Also, do not buy into the whole “God has my partner picked out for me” mentality, as this can be used to manipulate you into accepting a cheater.


#19

Praying for you chaz.


#20

Chaz0426- we have all been there, which doesn’t make it any easier for you, and at the risk of sounding corney and quoting a song, sometimes we need to “thank God for unanswered prayers!” You are quite young and when you are happily married in the future- you will look back and give thanks that this didn’t work out! tracyv


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