I just betrayed God by committing a certain mortal sin. I did it so casually, even rationalizing it at the moments immediately after it happened, thinking whether I should confess it or not. I still want to ponder whether I was in the right state of mind upon doing so or not, but whether or not my mind was clear at that moment I want to own up to what I did and it was an abomination.
I need to see a priest soon, and I’ve already prayed to God and asked for his forgiveness and mercy. I’ve talked to Our Lady about it as well. I have faith in Him and I know that he will give me the grace and grant me forgiveness.
But the devil is attacking me while I’m down. I can’t get to sleep and I’m being tempted by a feeling of despair. I need as many prayers as I can from the saints in Heaven and my brethren here on earth right now. Thank you for being with me.