Let me start by stating my firm belief that my fiance and me are absolutely supposed to be together. God has shown this to be His will for us since the time we first set eyes on each other.
It is my belief (and this is backed up by the assistant to one of the nation’s foremost exorcists) that our relationship has been under attack by the adversary since even before we met.
I had a dream as a sixteen year old, fresh out of a mental institution, that I would meet this man. The dream was very dark and dangerous, and so is he. I still struggle to make sense of the dream, and more often than not, to make sense of this relationship. But it is very clearly not something for me to make sense of- it is for me to have absolute faith in. This union was foreordained by God. Not everyone can say this about their spouse.
I was baptized, but never confirmed. I have attempted RCIA three times and it is always interrupted by something in my life that seems to take priority. He is a confirmed Catholic. We are both trying to stay true to traditional Catholicism, but several challenges present themselves.
I have dabbled in the occult since I was a young teenager, and my (Catholic!!) mother has since even before I was born. I met my fiance while we were both homeless and abusing substances. I have struggled against the devil from jump street trying to get us into a stable environment so that we can begin our lives together in earnest.
I saw no other option than cohabitation. I still don’t. It has been over a year since we met and realized our place in each other’s lives, and it is my belief that the devil is attempting to sabotage us from his side of things. Nearly every attempt of mine to get the two of us into jobs and stable housing has been sabotaged. He gives in to his base desire to hurt me and wreck what we have that I’ve struggled to provide for us. My contributions, more often than not, seem to go unnoticed. I have stolen bread in front of law enforcement at a pantry in order to feed the two of us. I was an activist, but I threw all of the heathen, communist atheists out of my life for us to be able to live an unfettered, Christian life. I have him 300 miles away from the sidewalk where we met, in my mother’s house, so we can raise our daughter.
I have not done things in the right order. I don’t know how to proceed once he is released from jail for having struck me in front of our very young baby because of something I said. I believe (and this is backed up by the exorcist’s assistant) that a Catholic counselor is the only way forward for us.
We would both appreciate the support of prayer warriors. Things are beginning to happen around the house like rosaries breaking, noises, things being moved, etc. I have terrible outbursts on occasion that are very difficult to recover from.