Currently we are having some very big financial problems that threaten our living arrangements. It doesn’t seem like ROCKET SCIENCE: just work, get paid, and pay your bills and mortgage—if one doesn’t veer from that “plan”, then all should go smoothly.
I have had poor mental health that has made keeping a teaching position difficult, and my husband owns his business as a self-employed atty. I stay at home with our youngest. When we decided to add on to our family, his business was running smoothly---we did not live high, but living to pay our bills is a definite luxury. For two years I was able to pay on time for everything---- Everytime I paid the bills on time, I praised God and offered Him thanks. After previous years of financial stress and foreclosure, paying bills on time made me feel a sense of dignity.
Now we are going the same route again with threats of foreclosure. He knows what our legal rights and limits are—I don’t need advice. I am just crying my head off right now because it is the same old stuff again—We built our credit back up and were able to buy a modest yet decent home (yes—really modest—elegance does not matter to me) but now we just might lose it! I ALSO have to live with the constant reminder that my sister said “why do they want to buy another home? They will just lose it…” She told my mother that, and my mother passed that on to me. We should have lived forever in a home provided by our in-laws, according to them. It was not a good living arrangement—believe me.
Please don’t tell me that I am stupid. Please don’t—I am sorry that I am in this mess again—and I don’t know how to cope with it. I mostly feel sorry for my children that I am their parent. They deserve so much better than the insecurity we have given them, my two oldest 13 and 14. We thought that at least we were going to offer them some security from now on—and offer my littlest one the security my oldest didn’t have.
Forgive me—I don’t know where to turn. I have nobody to talk to right now.