Please straighten me out about the "physician needing to know where it hurts before he can help you" part of confession


#1

Hello.

During confession the priest refused to hear all my sins - he said that since the sacrament of confession automatically forgives all my sins that I didn't have to confess them all.

I did receive the proper absolution, but I didn't think that this was the correct way of handling someone's confession.

Also left the confessional in tears, and when I went to talk to the pastor he yelled at me to "hurry up and get inside - I can't leave the door open all day" and acted like I was just another irritation in his day. I rarely ring the doorbell to the rectory. I've probably rung the doorbell 4 to 6 times since the year 2010. I was in tears all this time.

Feel really hurt.

Would appreciate only loving, charitable comments.

Thanks for listening.


#2

Some priests are better confessors than others, or at the very least, we relate better to some priests than to others. It sounds like you should find another priest to hear your confessions.

If, perhaps, your confessions run long, it might be good to make an appointment. That way you (and the priest) both know that there isn't a line of people waiting. Enough time has been set aside.

Ideally confession is a healing sacrament. I'm sorry that wasn't your experience.


#3

I am sorry you had this experience.

Please remember though, priests are human beings, and maybe there were things going on that you knew nothing about that were making them both a little cranky. I am not excusing their behavior, but we all do things that can be mean sometimes.

As far as your confession goes, was this something that you scheduled or was it during "regular confession times"?

Do you have scrupulous tendencies? Where you looking for more "spiritual direction" rather than simply just confessing your sins?

None of this is wrong, but maybe the priest was worried that he would not hear all the confession fo those waiting. Maybe he was just exsasperated over something that happened earlier. Maybe he is just not the best confessor.

Ther can be lots of reasons for what you experienced. I know it can be very hurtful, and if this is a one-time thing, chock it up to a bad day and let it go.
If behavior like this is common-place, either confront the situation or find another parish.

Peace be with you on your journey! :)


#4

Sounds like someone was having a bad day....we are can all have such.

Sorry though you experienced such difficulties.

As for confession --we are obliged to confess all mortal sins in number and kind --venial sins need not be confessed (but it is very good to confess at least some) and can be forgiven in many ways.

If someone forgets a mortal sin but was contrite and amended etc -- they need to still confess it.


#5

A confessional is intended for the purpose of our confessing our mortal sins.

The sacrament of Penance or Reconciliation.

There are many things which "MAY" be venial sins or not sins at all.

But the confessional is NOT a substitute for counseling or for discussion of personal issues ... or things that are bothersome ... which someone once described as "she said, I said".

Rather than ringing the doorbell, if a priest is a trained counselor, we can call to make an office appointment for confession or for counseling or for some spiritual direction.


#6

Prayers offered through the intercessions of St John Chrysostom. :gopray2:

"Did you commit sin? Enter the Church, repent for your sin, for here is the physician, not the judge. Here one is not investigated; one receives remission of sins." - St John Chrysostom


#7

[quote="crenfro, post:1, topic:318993"]
Hello.

During confession the priest refused to hear all my sins - he said that since the sacrament of confession automatically forgives all my sins that I didn't have to confess them all.

I did receive the proper absolution, but I didn't think that this was the correct way of handling someone's confession.

Also left the confessional in tears, and when I went to talk to the pastor he yelled at me to "hurry up and get inside - I can't leave the door open all day" and acted like I was just another irritation in his day. I rarely ring the doorbell to the rectory. I've probably rung the doorbell 4 to 6 times since the year 2010. I was in tears all this time.

Feel really hurt.

Would appreciate only loving, charitable comments.

Thanks for listening.

[/quote]

Hello, crenfro. I am sorry you had these negative experiences. From what you have said, the priest was in error. Yes, confession forgives all sins, but you are still required to confess all mortal sins in kind and number.

The only thing I can think of is maybe you were confessing venial sins (or he thought you were)...or else, sins that you had already confessed in a previous confession. But even then, I would think he would just hear you out anyway, unless it was taking a very long time.

I am curious, when you spoke to the pastor, did you ask him about this? What were his thoughts on the matter?

I agree with what others are saying, that it might have just been a bad day or mis-communication or something. Even the best priests have a bad day sometimes! But if it is a pattern, you may try going to another priest or parish (if you are able to do so) for confession. You do not have to receive the sacrament at your home parish, you can go to any Catholic priest at any Catholic parish.

One more thought, if you have a good relationship with this priest and are comfortable talking with him, you might consider making an appointment with him and discuss what happened and get a better idea of why he said what he said. I am relatively close to the two priests at my parish, and if I had a weird experience like this I would probably make an appointment with him to (very charitably) let him know that it bothered me and get some clarity on what he meant. I know that if I was a priest, I would want to know if I did something wrong (or that was interpreted that way) so I could try to do better in the future.

God bless you, and please don't let this turn you off from the wonderful Sacrament of Reconciliation!


#8

Hello.

I’ve since changed parishes since this all happened. Things are better there --> more orthodox.

Please pray for me that I’ll be more concerned with trying to follow God’s will and loving others than all this pettiness I seem to be drawn to.

Thanks for listening.


#9

I was going to suggest changing parishes, but it seems you have.

Cold, callous, unorthodox and uncaring priests are a burden on the whole Church.

Glad you were able to escape them.


closed #10

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