Politically Correct Social Science Class: Parody


OK, class, today, in analytical Social Science, we are going to discuss theories of why wars occur.

Mary Catholic: “Dr. Dreyfuss, the thing is, all along, in my social science classes that I’ve attended, we only discuss theories about modern wars, most of which involve an analysis based on solely economics or politics. Why is it then that we do not study more like wars in the Middles Ages. I mean, instead of looking at wars after the Enlightenment, when humanity discovered that there really is no such thing as Revealed Religion, couldn’t we more like analyze some wars in the Middle Ages. Like the Hussites, for example.”

Very good observation, Mary Catholic. Let us then consider that very war between Catholics and Hussites in the Middle Ages. So I ask you, class, diverse as you are, let us discuss and analyze this war from an unbiased opinion in Social Science.

Muhamat Islamitic: “Well, you see doctor, that this is really a senseless war, because it is one Christian body fighting another Christian body, and point is, doctor, they are both mistaken. For just as there is one God, there is only one Person in God. Hence, it is ‘cursed those who beleive God is THREE in one. So says Allah in the Quran’. Hence, perhaps God is punishing the Christians because of their errors. If they knew Allah, they would not fight, because they both be blind!”

Johnny Calvinist: “I object! God is three in One. We know this from Scripture! Rather I would say, God was already punishing the corrupt Catholics. For we know that after the Apostles, the Roman Church is gradually corrupting the true and simple purity of the Gospel, adding pagan superstitions and corruptions because they desire to enslave the masses in ignorance of the true Christ in order that they might secure their power and wealth. So I would say, even beginning with Jan Hus, the light of the true Gospel was already dawning on the darkness of Romanism. It is building toward the great salvation of Luther and Calvin, the saviors of the true gospel. The Gospel of faith, not works.”

**Thomas Deist: **“Look, you’re all idiots. This is precisely why needed the Enlightenment! Because what the hell good has religion done for people. First the Romans kill Christians, then Catholics kill Muslims and Muslims kill Catholics. Then Catholics burn heretics at stake. Then Protestants kill Catholics and Catholics kill Protestants. Then Protestants kill other types of Protestants, and we can throw in Jews, too, yippie! Look, we’ve already been through the complete waste of time that was the period from 400 to 1700. Complete idiots killing each other and waging wars against one another, and for what? Because they disagree about technical points of ‘supernatural doctrine.’ This is the whole damn problem with people who believe in a God who ‘intervenes and reveals’. Now I for one am not going to say there is no God. No, there must be some supreme Being up there who made this universe. But, doctor, is it not clear that there are no miracles. I mean, wasn’t that the great breakthrough in human history, where, while not denying the existence of some God, it became apparent that whatever God is up there, He does not intervene in this world, nor does He ‘reveal’ truth. It is up to we, as man, to make the best of what we have. Clearly, the Ten Commandments overall make sense. And I do think that all of us strive, through our natural efforts to live up to the natural virtue that is rather evident from Reason. But, I mean, come on, must we return to the time when people kill one another because they disagree about ‘revealed’ truth?”

What do you think, Mr. Bad Boy Rapper relativist? You’ve been so quite during all of this

BBoy Relativist: “Look, I mean, like, do you think I really care about Hussites, and Strussites, and catalics and protetics, and all that sh–? I mean, like, who really cares about whether there is a God or not? I just wanna get outta here and go chow some pizza, have a few beers, watch the game, and invite my ‘ho’ over, and, well, you know…!”

Well, class, there certainly are a variety of opinions expressed today. http://forums.catholic-convert.com/images/smiles/icon_biggrin1.gif Well, you know, in the end, just do what you feel is right. Perhaps some day, social scientists shall solve these complex questions. Class dismissed! J http://forums.catholic-convert.com/images/smiles/icon_biggrin1.gif


:thumbsup:The funny thing is this was NOT a parody but a REALITY! :smiley:


a Parody or rather A Parody being the operant name, as in ‘eats shoots and leaves’ and 'eats shits and leaves


:smiley: Dang!! That is good!!

I wouldn’t be as evasive as the “Thomas Deist”.


Thomas Anglican: “Actually both sides were correct in this conflict. Or maybe no side was correct. Hmmm, I’m not sure, but there’s got to be a rational *via media *somewhere in all of this…” :slight_smile:


well, look, my point was not that it was necessarily a good thing that Christians killed one another. I think that all sides of Christianity can now admit that waging wars is not the way to solve doctrine.

My point was, rather, there is no conceivable way to interpret history independent of one’s particular religious views. Which is perhaps why politically correct secular history classes can only present “the facts”, they can’t interpret them for you, for therein lies religious division.

but it certainly demonstrates this fact: there will never be the fullness of the scientific dominion so long as religious errors persist in history, because, for example, the fields of social and political science and psychology obviously have overlaps with religion.

In other words, a Calvinist psychologist would tell a patient that had once been a devout Christian but fell in serious sin that “well, you were never saved to begin with”, a Hindu psychologist would say, “how can you believe that ‘God’ is separate from the world and all good and all powerful, when innocent people suffer? Can you not see that we are all part of God.” An atheist psychologist would say, “Well, look, I think your whole problem is itself your religion. Why not free yourself from the chains of conscience and realize that all religion is a disorder.”


But Mr Dreyfuss, it seems our class is ignorant. Joan of Arc wrote a letter to the Hussites warning them about their destruction of churches and shrines and killing of civilians

Jesus, Mary
For a long time the rumor and voice of the people have reported to me, Joan the Maiden, that from true Christians you have become heretics, and like the Saracensn3 you have ruined the true faith and worship, and embraced a disgraceful and unlawful superstition; and wishing to sustain and spread it there is not a disgraceful thing nor foolish belief which you would not dare. You spoil the sacraments of the Church,n4 you tear up the articles of the Faith, you destroy the churches, you break and burn the statuesn5 which were set up as memorials, you massacre Christians because they preserve the true Faith. What is this fury? Or what rage or madness consumes you? This faith, which God Almighty, the Son, and the Holy Spirit have revealed, established, elevated to power, and glorified a thousand ways through miracles - you persecute this Faith, you wish to overthrow and destroy it. You are blind, but not because you lack eyes or understanding. Do you believe that you will remain unpunished for it? Or are you unaware that God opposes your unlawful effortsn6 and will not permit you to remain in darkness and error? So that the more you indulge yourselves in crime and sacrilege, the more He will prepare great punishments and anguish for you.
As far as I am concerned, to tell you frankly, if I wasn’t occupied in the English warsn7 I would have come to see you a long time ago; but if I don’t find out that you have reformed yourselves I might leave off [fighting] the English and go against you,n8 so that by the sword [lit. - “by iron”], if I can’t do it any other way, I will eliminate your mad and obscene superstition and remove your heresy or your life; but if you would prefer to return to the Catholic faith and the original Light, then send your ambassadors to me and I will tell them what you need to do; if [on the other hand] you are not willing and if you obstinately resist the spur,n9 remember what damage and offenses you have committed and await me, who will inflict similar upon you with forces human and divine.
Given at Sully the [2]3rd,n10 of March
to the heretics of Bohemia


Yeah, but that’s not politically correct! :rolleyes:

Because it assumes that Catholicism is true, which, has been known to be false since 1517. :smiley: :rolleyes:

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.