Poll Shows Majority of Catholics Who Reject Church Teachings Refuse to Leave

Catholic Satire From Maureen Martin

Seventy-five percent of Catholics who say they disagree with the Church’s traditional teachings on birth control, divorce and homosexuality said they aren’t exactly sure why they want to remain members of the Church, but they aren’t leaving, according to a new poll.

“I guess I could officially renounce my Catholicism,” said Bert Tucker, a computer sales manager and usher at Church of the Good Shepherd in Tampa. “But where am I going to go? To one of those evangelical wingbat churches where the beliefs are actually enforced? No thanks.”

Athough she thinks the Church is behind the times on most issues, including priestly celibacy and women’s ordination, Mary McFadden is proud of her role as RCIA instructor at the Church. “I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t Catholic. All my relatives are Catholic. You know, I just want other people to experience that, you know, experience or whatever.”

Her husband Bill, who is a Eucharistic minister, said he rejects the Church’s teaching on the Real Presence, among other things, and it has caused him a lot of problems. “It really bugs me when people call me a liberal or a heretic or whatever. I’m just glad we don’t live back in the days
when people really were excommunicated for holding different views. Yeah, I don’t agree with the church
on 99 percent of what it teaches, but you can’t make me leave. I’ve been told the Church isn’t a democracy,but most polls show Catholics don’t agree with that.”

Other dissenters seem wistful. “I just identify with so much of Catholic culture, even if I don’t agree with the teachings,” said Krista Luntz, a sophomore studying literature at the University of Seattle, and who is opposed to the Church’s teaching on birth control. “There’s the music, the art, the architecture,” she said while motioning to the St. Ignatius Chapel behind her. “Well, on second thought, maybe I don’t really know why I am Catholic.”

Welcome to the real World… outside the CAF.
Once again…the 2nd sig applies.

If you don’t agree with the teachings of the Church then you are a protestant attending Catholic Mass, period. Case closed.:twocents:

Formerly known as heretics. Currently known as Cafeteria Catholics.

Really, really sad. Unfortunately - I’m not suprised.

That would make the catholic church one that had 1 million members, 1 cardinal, & 3 bishops.

Didn’t the Pope say the Church was going to get smaller?

Polls indicate that 70% don’t believe in the Real Presence in varying degrees. You cannot identify yourself as a Catholic if you do not believe in this central teaching. Sorry, you’re protestant even if you attend Catholic Mass.

TNT, apparently you have stats that I don’t have access to but I would have guessed that those numbers would be smaller.:frowning:

Actually I slipped in the SSPX folks, bishops & all.http://bestsmileys.com/banned/1.gif

Well, they DO believe in the Real presence, after all. http://www.deephousepage.com/smilies/mwink.gif

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

All three of their bishops, I see. :wink:

Just don’t be like the majority of Catholics who reject the Church.

Remember Jesus’ own words, “He who rejects you, rejects me!”

So Catholics who reject the Church rejects Jesus Christ.

The thought of what will happen them in their final judgement frightens me. :eek:

Yes, that this is true is pathetic. We should pray for the souls of the fallen-away Catholics.

Her husband Bill, who is a Eucharistic minister, said he rejects the Church’s teaching on the Real Presence, among other things, and it has caused him a lot of problems… "…Yeah, I don’t agree with the church
on 99 percent of what it teaches…

and this is a Eucharisitic minister!???!!! Yikes.:eek:

I remember the Pope saying that.

Do you remember if it was when he was Cardinal or after he was Pope? I can’t remember.

If I were a stockholder & the CEO told us that the Co. was gonna get SMALLER, well, http://www.emotihost.com/ver1/kick/2.gif
I’d send’m to Muslim Marketing University.

As Pope is what I remember. I also remember him asking for prayers after he was elected about the wolves running him off, after him?..do you remember that…something to that effect, not the exact words.

Well, since the title at the top of the article paramedicgirl posted did say it was satire, I wouldn’t lose sleep over it. I, personally, haven’t run into a EM who was that bad, I can think of a few places where they probably exist.

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