Poor/ bad behavior


When a seemingly devout member of the church behaves badly, is she/he supposed to be chased from the church, if so how is this to be done?
There is this lady, we went to the same primary school, she seems “nice”, at least when you interact with her. She was an active member in church, but I think like any human she had/has her weakness: like she can come to church dressed very inappropriately, can disrespect older church members when talking, (shout at you), doesn’t take advise, seems to know it all and is remorseless. Myself, I had a not very good experience with her that had to do with money. She received money for an item under my name from a good Samaritan in church, then went ahead and asked me for money for the same item( which I did pay over time since I had no money at the time). I got to learn about the good Samaritan about a year later. I have never brought the issue up, and we talk, like nothing ever happened. Anyhow I let that go despite her making me look like a thief infront of the rest.
From stories I hear she has done many things, others big. The parish priest I hear does not like her to the point that he says he will disband our choir if he ever sees her in it again. The good thing is that she is allowed to attend Mass. How is such person supposed to be handled, because I do not think her bad habits have gone?


Our Lord’s prayer comes to mind.


She’s probably not devout. I try to use the word sparingly.


You are gossiping and it’s wrong. Period. It’s not yours to just if her bad habits have gone or not.

Let it go and pray for her and your priest. I will do the same.


Gossiping and asking for advice are so similar, it takes practice to request help without placing a person in the firing line. You haven’t sinned with us because we will not allow you to continue into it too much.

I learnt the hard way that some people will never change and we are to accept them as they are… building up a protection of your own Christian values is important but I also find that these people don’t want you to change either so think of it as peace time.


The Priest seems to know about this so I’d let it come from him if anything needs to be addressed about her.

Now the MONEY THING is serious—this could be considered Criminal activity if she took money for something and on top of that asked you for the money for the same thing. She was double dipping. Can you prove the money issue with documentation—check stubs, receipts, the Good Samaritan’s documentation? That needs to be documented and ABSOLUTELY let the Priest know about this if he doesn’t already know. This could get even more serious if she is not “nipped in the bud”.


I would suggest praying for the woman and keeping your eyes on your own paper, and don’t gossip about this woman to other people you know. We can only do so much for the people in the Church that we find bad. If we could get rid of all the badly behaved Catholics, the church would be empty.


You should definitely confront her about the money. Talk to the priest, maybe he heard some others stories like this and will confront her.


When I give money to someone, I consider it a gift and I never expect to be repaid. Has made my life much easier :slight_smile:

Pray for her, let Father take care of the rest.


Chased from the Church? we are not in the middle ages. God is mercy and forgiveness. We are called to allow God to shine through us to others.

We all have our weaknesses, what are yours?


Is this the same lady that caused you problems last spring?


We don’t “chase people from the church.” If the lady is rude, try to overlook it for the short time you have to be around her, and pray for her.
If she committed an irregularity with money, speak to the pastor.
Consider that the lady may well have a medical or mental health condition affecting her behavior and judgment, or some other life stress.


A couple of people should have a talk with her.


“This may require five-point-touch-palm-exploding-heart technique.”


I once had a tormentor, one day I realised the constant and prolonged torment was real dedication to my improvement. I came to see this person as a great asset.

I wonder if the lady involved might have misunderstood the message of love which Our Lord taught?

Love is the answer, now what is the question?


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