Well, yes, and as a semi-pro musician with a lot of years under my belt playing/singing in church groups, I can definitely identify with a lot of what you’re saying.
Since music has an emotional component to it, you’re always going to be dealing with people who develop that kind of attachment (or antipathy) based on a host of factors. I have a friend who cannot hear a certain piece from the 1970s without weeping as it was the post communion piece at her husband’s funeral, and the same with the scripture that piece is associated with. I think that people are more inclined to feel sympathy and understanding with that kind of emotional reaction. Also, people are more inclined to feel sympathy and understanding when another person’s likes, or dislikes, are similar to their own. You’ll find that a person who genuinely likes the 80s-90s OCP Gathering music, probably because s/he grew up with it, sang it, has many happy and positive memories associated with it, is going to have a visceral defensive antipathy to those who do not care for that music. It’s harder for a person who genuinely likes chant and older style music to find ‘like-minded’ persons because for most of us, that music has not been around for some 40-50 years, and we have to take much time and effort on our own in many cases to listen, learn, and in some cases, implement in our parishes so that hopefully a couple of decades from now there will be many people who are accustomed to ‘that music’ as there are now accustomed to other styles.
And again, there is a concern (often deeply hidden and reluctant to be recognized) by some who are deeply invested in OCP etc that any person who expresses an interest in ‘something else’ is going to “take away my music and substitute that other, which I do not know and, in my fear, often come to dislike by that association with fear", part of which is based on the knowledge that about 50 years ago the entire US Catholic world had its liturgy and music 'taken away, overnight,” without any input from the people, and substituted with a liturgy and music they did not know. What happened once is more likely, they feel, to happen again. . .and there are some unscrupulous people who feed on those fears by many attempts to demonize those "rigid EF types who want to take away your music and liturgy in revenge for losing theirs. (of course, the fact that people who like older style music are often quite content with the OF, or are simply musically-minded and like to explore all kinds of music, is ignored.)
Unfortunately the simple idea that it is not only possible, but relatively easy even for the smaller parishes to have one Mass on the weekend, or 'every other Sunday", or “One hymn out of the four” to offer a music ‘choice’, seems to flare that ‘fear’ to conflagration point. “Give a trad an old hymn once, and s/he’ll have us doing the Latin Mass and burning OCP and Gather hymnals and denying us forever. . . oooohhhhh”.