Possible Adultery

Hello everyone! I just joined because I am a lifelong Catholic who drifted from the church and sinned more than my share. Although I have always prayed, it has been over a year since my last confession and several years since I attended mass services. I am finally regaining my physical, mental, and emotional health but that’s another story. My question is that in my early twenties I met a woman twice my age in a bar. We were both intoxicated (no excuse, just fact) and attracted to each other. It was soon clear that she wanted a young guy to have sex with. . . My memory is hazy on the event but I know that she told me she was technically still married. The problem is that I can’t remember if it was before or after the fact. I tell myself it was after but I truly am unsure. I know I sinned either way but premarital sex with someone you believe is single is a lesser sin than knowingly committing adultery which to my recollection is a mortal sin. Please help me understand exactly what sin/sins I committed and how to repent. Thanks.

Try talking to a priest. He can guide you better than the posters here.


Bring it up in confession. Welcome back.


Just tell the priest what you told us. Either way, it needs to be confessed. Welcome back home!


Then don’t bother commenting… someone else will answer OP question :unamused::unamused:

No, I think the point is that none of us can answer his question. He needs to speak to a priest.


Is there anything stopping you going to confession and Mass this weekend?


I’m overdue… I should go :pensive:

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Now is the time!

God gives us such graces to fight evil, through Reconcilliation

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It’s hard to overcome Laziness :weary:

Just tell the priest that when you were in your early 20s you got drunk and met some older woman in a bar who may have been married, you’re not sure, and the two of you had sex once.
Takes 30 seconds and you don’t have to analyze what sin you committed. Priest will take it from there.


Could be a few reasons.
Sometimes it may be difficult to engage a priest because they are busy or perhaps the person isn’t attending church atm and so won’t see one. Or possibly sometimes they want to check about an issue informally with others here before possibly suffering an embarrassment with a priest.

Or maybe sometimes someone just wants to talk?

Let’s not judge.


Welcome back.

Adultery aside- premarital sexual relations may be mortal sin in itself. Either way, take it to a priest in Confession.

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Setting aside whether @mickey221981 should’ve brought it up in the confessional rather than on CAF, it’s a good question: are fornication and adultery equally sinful?

CatholicSinner, there have been a large number of people post on this forum describing sexual acts or some other TMI thing in way more detail than this guy.

If you really think a post crosses the line, maybe just flag it to the mods and don’t criticize the poster.

The OP is trying to come back to the church. I was away from the church for 18 years and having to come back and make that great big confession is scary. Sometimes people think that the Internet provides a little bit of anonymity for them to discuss an issue or release some anxiety. Often, people with serious sins who haven’t been going to Confession aren’t quite sure how to bring them up to a priest. They are afraid of “doing it wrong”, getting yelled at by the priest and/or inadvertently committing some other sin by not confessing correctly.

In any event, it’s not a good idea to post in a person’s thread who’s trying to come back to the church, telling them they shouldn’t have made such a thread and they sound crazy, etc. It can scare them off.

I truly hope the OP is not scared off and he can go make a confession getting this sin off his chest in 30 seconds like I said. I too have done things just as bad if not worse. The important thing to remember is you don’t need to categorize your sins and say oh this was adultery or was it fornication and was it mortal or venial. Just tell the priest as short as you can what happened.

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