This is something I should take up with a spiritual director, but I wanted to get some opinions on here too.
OK, so I am pretty actively discerning a call to the priesthood. However, assuming that this is my calling, which I obviously have not discerned yet, I am one of those people that is resisting the call a little bit. Meaning, I have the deep down feeling that I should probably give seminary a try when I finish college (Spring 2014), but at the same time my mind will not allow me to give up the thought of marriage and family. So sometimes I go a little bit “girl crazy”. OK, that’s not the best way of describing it, but perhaps you see what I mean.
There’s been this girl that is new at our university, but I knew before she came here, since she was roommates with my sister at her college. Well, I didn’t know her, but I knew of her and had a few conversations with her.
To make a longer story short, I’d say I “have some feelings” for her, and have thought before about dating her. However, I have been in the mindset of “discerning priesthood” so strongly, which has definitely kept me back from developing any relationship. Also I should mention that the desire to begin a relationship isn’t really all that strong, but I have no idea how much that is due to the feeling of a priestly calling.
My discernment is already interesting enough, but it got a lot more interesting last night. She told me she liked me. Now, I didn’t really know how to react to this. I mean, I’ve never dated anyone, and I am somewhat shy and can be awkward at times. So I didn’t say much. But I had so many thoughts running through my mind. For one, she is also somewhat of an introvert, and she hasn’t met too many people here. I have no idea if this is true, but I think it is possible that she is “hanging on” to me because she knew me before she got here. Actually, that’s the main thing. Another thing, is I know she misses her previous college (she is a grad student here) and since she was really good friends with my sister (and my brother who also went there) I think it is possible that she “likes” me because I remind her of my sister (she has told me that I do remind her of my sister before).
I have a tendency to think too much about things…and I might be thinking too much about this. Because I also think it’s kind of weird that she told me that she likes me, rather than vice versa. I mean, usually the guy kind of initiates, right?!?
I’d like to get your opinions on two questions:
Is it common for good, Catholic relationships to be initiated by the girl, or is that weird? I really don’t know. I kind of feel weird, if this goes anywhere, not having initiated the relationship.
If I tell her that I am discerning priesthood (well, she knows this already) pretty strongly, would it be okay to, well, date her?
Oh wait, one more.
- In general, especially in the case that one is discerning a vocation to priesthood/religious life, is it a bad idea to begin a relationship when you aren’t like, crazy about the other person? I mean, in my case, yeah, I like her and care about her to some extent, but do people often begin relationships being like, really into each other?
Wow, this is probably my longest post I’ve ever made!