Have any of you felt spiritually and emotionally numb postpartum. For the past two months I’ve been battling myself in the basics of just hugging, hand holding, etc. my husband and children. I work in childcare so that may be part of the reason why I just want my space at the end of the day, but I’ve realized how this has affected my family. My husband complains about us not being intimate (from holding hands to love making). I don’t intend to cosleep the whole night with the baby (the crib is next to the bed) but each night I collapse from exhaustion that the thought of sitting up and breastfeeding is so unappealing. My husband feels like we are separate (and I feel it too), my mom suggests I switch to formula so that I can be there more for my family.
My husband does so much around the house since he’s home weekdays (he works weekends) but still complains that he prefers his wife’s touch to making dinner and complains that I don’t do enough around the house. I thank him all the time for all he does for our family. Some days he asks me to bring the kids with me so that he can get things done since it’s hard to do a lot of housework and other things (like cleaning out the garage) with them. It’s rare that I say no to this request and when I do, it’s for a legitimate reason.
We’ll be struggling financially in the new year since he doesn’t have many jobs lined up in the first two months and I know this bothers him. He complains about simple meals because he grew up poor and doesn’t want our kids to have beans as the main protein. He gets frustrated with the fact that we haven’t had money to paint the house, build a deck, etc. since we’ve moved here. He wants everything to be so nice looking like everyone else in my family (most of his siblings are struggling and he forgets to recognize how blessed we are in comparison to their struggles).
He just seems so frustrated and emotionally withdrawing and I’m trying to figure out ways to help him (yes, I pray for him). I come up with mini-dates inside the house when the kids are sleeping. I’ve initiated relations twice since I got the all-clear from the doctor (about 3 weeks ago). It just seems that if it isn’t elaborate as he wishes that he just doesn’t want to bother at all.
I’m just wondering if I’m not dong enough, what I can change to be more for my family. Also, I want to know if any of you have been through the “I don’t want to do anything and I want my space” feelings postpartum.