A co-worker e-mailed me this video, and you wanna know what my first thought was? I’m going to hell.
In a way, I kind of feel like I deserve to go to hell given the surplus I enjoy here in America. Even when I earn only half a paycheck, I still have enough to pay my bills and enjoy luxuries besides. The $200 which I use to go out to eat, buy books or CDs, or whatever (and ‘whatever’ is quite the luxurious word, isn’t it?) is what most of these families probably earn in a year.
If I wasn’t so selfishly concentrated on getting my sorry self out of debt, I’d probably contribute more to relief aids. I lack faith, though, that’s what this amounts to: I lack the faith that God will provide. I’m far too American, far too indoctrinated by the postulates of free market capitalism, and somewhere deep inside I believe that I’m still the one responsible for my destiny, my fate, my life. No matter how many times I tell myself “I am not the great I AM, but by the grace of God I am what I am,” or try to intellectually acknowledge my creatureliness, I’m likely to always lack the faith that catapulted St Francis from being a merchant’s prince into Il Poverello.
And so, I deserve hell in the same way that the Lazaruses of the world deserve to rest in the bosom of Abraham.
That’s all - I’m done with my little dramatic rant which won’t amount to a hill of beans in my actual life.