My husband and I have been married for 30 years, and we are still very much in love. We dated for six years before we married, and we were virgins when we were married.
I hope this doesn’t sound harsh.
I think you’re making a big deal out of nothing. Ease way off immediately. Drop it. Stop talking about it. Stop thinking about it. Stop obsessing.
You are analyzing this to death. Women do this kind of thing too often and they talk, talk, talk and it drives most men crazy. “Honey, let’s talk about this. Honey, are you mad at me? Talk to me, honey. I need to tell you my feelings and I need you to tell me your feelings. Let’s share our deepest hopes and fears. Let’s pray about this. What do you think God would think of this?”
Don’t do that.
That’s not the way men are wired. He will never be your best girlfriend, OK?
The best way to get your husband’s interest away from that show or anything is to ignore him. Do not make a big deal or even a little deal out of it. Don’t even mention it. Just ignore him. Do something else. Don’t act like a martyr or a saint. Just do something else that honestly needs to be done, or that you honestly want to do. This isn’t a act that you’re putting on to lure him away from the TV. This is real life. You have things to do, methods of relaxation that work for you–do them. And let your husband do his things. And when you are both finished, come together.
Give him the FREEDOM to watch the show. And don’t tell him that you are giving him freedom, and make a big deal out of your generosity and maturity and self-sacrificing love. Don’t mention it ever. Ever. When he sits down to watch his show(s), smile and go do something else without any fuss, resentment, or discussion.
Men have a very real need to feel “free.” When their wife makes them feel trapped, they resent it and will dig in and resist the attempt to curtail their freedom.
**A wise woman will be very very careful to give their husband the freedom that he needs. **
*And what’s really strange about this approach is that if a man feels feel to choose to do something, he often will decide not to do it. * Just having the freedom to do something is all he needs.
And if you ignore him and do something else, this will intrigue him. He will find himself less interested in the show and more interested in you and what you’re doing.
It’s the same principle as dieting; as long as we can have it, we don’t necessarily want it. But when we are forbidden from eating something, we desire it, we CRAVE it, we long for it.
Obviously this principle doesn’t apply if your husband is watching or doing porn or snuff flicks or something vile and obviously sinful. But a television show, a sitcom–it’s not the same as porn. It really isn’t.
Unless your guy is incredibly immature, he probably realizes, just like the rest of us do, that the show is not real. If he doesn’t realize this, you shouldn’t marry him because he has a mental problem.
But assuming that he is normal, he is probably just enjoying a funny show and not absorbing the questionable morals and lack of religion.
This is what real married life is like. Much of the time, your husband will be in the garage or basement or his office or den or out in the yard living life the way he likes to live it. And much of the time, you’ll be living your life. The best marriages are those in which each spouse gives their spouse freedom to pursue life and then come back together and enjoy still more life as a couple.