Prayer Advice -


Recently I married my best friend and things are wonderful. Now a little background information we waited until are wedding night and did very little if anything that is against the churches teaching. We planned to then and are currently practicing NFP for a variety of reasons but especially it is the churches teaching.

As I am sure a lot of people here have family and friends that don’t agree with these views and although they not hold it against you they not participate themselves.

Here is where we need guidance. One of our friend whom became married just a month after us we just found out was 3 months pregnant at our wedding and four months at her own(we did not know at the time). If any of our friends were going to abide by the churches teaching it would have been this person. To give a little credit to them we never discussed it but I can get in to the details on why we felt this so strongly. When so many people don’t use the churches teaching and someone you know you would bet money does, only to find out we were wrong hurts. We found strength through our engagement thinking we know someone struggle with them temptations as us only to find out it was a lie.

The main problem that we are having is it almost cheapens our view of the teaching and makes us feel like we were the ones that did wrong. We feel like our trust was broken not only with this person but also the church. We were talking as we prayed last night and it is almost as our value was cheapened. Next time we have a friend that we believe is living by the church who knows what we will think.


Ok, so your friend slipped up and is happily married and was pregnant at the time.


Be happy for her! :thumbsup:

Yes, it’s not good that she sinned, but you know what? Chances are she went to confession and God has forgiven her. You need to accept that and move on.

Thank God that you and your DH were able to stay strong and then enjoy your married life. Just because someone who you thought was so strong struggled does not make doing the right thing any less right.

You should have been being chaste because it was the right thing and not because of what other people were doing.

God bless,



I’m confused as to why someone else committing a sin makes you reconsider what the Church teaches, and why you feel like you were the ones who did wrong.

Are you really that dependent upon what others do? You should not be!

The Church teaches the Truth. The fact that others have sinned doesn’t mean you should too. You are still responsible for following the Truth that God gives us through His Church.

Your friends made a mistake. I am sorry you thought they were perfect. You have learned that they are not. But, like all sinners they can confess, be reconciled, and start anew.

None of that changes what YOU are called to do-- live a life of holiness.


I can understand how you would be disillusioned. I’ve had that happen before with people whom I look up to, and then later find out that they may not have been up their so high for me to really be looking up. Knowing how many people make such big mistakes, especially sexual ones, especially when it is people who seem to value the Church’s teachings, can be very discouraging. It can make you feel deceived, and when you become a parent, it can make you worry all the more that your children won’t be able to resist these temptations. So I think I see, somewhat where you’re coming from.

But here’s the thing. The lesson that I learn when people I look up to make big mistakes, is that I am too quick to put other people on pedestals. Whether I shouldn’t look up to them, or whether I need to have a little more respect for myself - so that I don’t need another person to lead me in that way - both have been (and continue to be) important lessons for me. We have to remind ourselves that even the most well-intentioned people sin, and sin big. It is simply human nature. We also have to remind ourselves that it may be more important that we focus more up on God and on OUR ability to follow Him and His Church, rather than getting distracted by looking to the side to other people for our inspiration. Not that others can’t inspire us, but being too discouraged by other people’s failings may be a sigh that we are overdoing it a bit.

I’d suggest contemplating the Apostles, specifically Peter, and all the ways that they failed. I’ve found it very helpful to me to read those Gospel passages and remember that even the saints that became the leaders of our church, even our first pope, were wretched sinners who made big mistakes. It helps me put my disillusionment of other people in perspective.


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