I was hoping to get a bit of advice from other forum members.
To explain my situation, about 2 years ago my wife got up one morning and uttered the immortal words of “we need to have a chat”. In the 6 months to a year leading up to this she had lost a lot of weight and her attitude to things had started to change, she started to become more and more materialistic. She worked alongside a lot of wealthy people, nearly all of them millionaires. Anyway, after we had a ‘chat’ she decided the only way that she was going to be happy was to leave me. To say I was shocked would be a massive understatement. Within a week she had moved out and I have never seen her again. In hindsight she had become really distant for a few months before she decided to leave. She would go out with her friends at the weekend and say that she was going to stay over with them as it was a big expense to return home as we lived in a rural part of Scotland. There was a key lock put on her phone that meant that I wouldn’t have access to it… the usual tell tale signs of something going on. Sadly I didn’t notice them at the time.
I have brought up Catholic, at that point I was 33, my wife however was a convert and 3 years younger than me. She came into the church just before her 29th birthday. As she was leaving I informed her that if she was absolutely positive that there was no way back then we would need to find out about getting an annulment. I’ll be honest with you, at this point I felt that my life was in pieces. I had just went self employed and 2 weeks after making this commitment she decided that she wanted out. Apparently I wasn’t going to give her the life style that she wanted. When I brought up the annulment her exact words were “I’m not going to let any church tell me what to do. I’m going to be divorced and I’m ok with that”. She then told me that she wasn’t going to be faithful until the divorce came through “You’re deluded if you think that I’m going to wait a year without having sex”. That felt as if somebody had just ripped my heart out of my chest. Three months after she left me she fell pregnant with another mans child. She said that it had been a one night stand but to be honest it looks as if her affair with this guy had been going on for some time. That hurt more than anything as she knew how much I wanted to be a dad.
In the 2 years since all of this happened I have applied for an annulment. I took advice off of a few priest friends of mine. Each one reviewed my 10 sheets of A4 that I had as supporting evidence and each one of them told me to go for it. I applied for it about 6 months after she left so it’s been going on now for about a year and a half. Unfortunately the church in Scotland have been having some major problems to deal with and this has tied up some members of the tribunal’s time. I had seven witnesses and the last testimony was given in October last year. Since then however my case hasn’t moved any further. Apparently it’s normal practice to have a psychologist review the case notes before going to trial. I e-mailed them in January and they informed me that they were still waiting to appoint one to my case. Nearly 5 months on I’m still waiting to hear if one has been appointed yet. I’m trying to be patient but it’s really difficult. I know they are busy but understandably I just want the process to finish so I can try and move on with my life.
I read a leaflet at the start of the annulment that gave some guidance on the process. One bit that sticks out is the bit that said that I would come out the other side of the process a totally different person. I will question beliefs that I hold dear and question who I am. At the time I thought it was rather deep but I can now see what they meant. I feel as if I am being tested in a lot of ways and I am feeling really tired.
I had a drink with a friend of mine that runs a faith and arts programme. She came up with what I think is a great suggestion. She suggested that I get a circle of friends and family and ask them to specifically pray a novena for me and the annulment process. I don’t know what anybody else thinks about this? I don’t know what novena I should pray though. Could somebody suggest a novena for myself, my friends and family to pray? Any advice or comments would be really welcomed.