Brothers and sisters, what I am to say is probaly going to sound silly, but I need to tell someone and I feel I can say my concerns here. As of now i’m in dreadful despair. I’m afraid I’m in sin against God, but I do not know what to do. In the past I have had mind problems and I have asked them on here but always said it was for my friend, but it really was for me. For quite awhile I have been worried about “what if” my wife is not my true wife in God’s eyes? I keep asking myself what is a marriage? It’s when two people make promises to one another right? But it has to be more than that because a man and a woman cannot just say to one another “I love you and I promise I will be with you until death does us apart,” and poof that makes them married, but a priest has to ask them those questions right? A man and a woman have to be close to one another and face each other and a priest has to be standing next to them and he has to ask the man “Do you ‘so and so’ take ‘so and so’ to be your wife?” And he goes through the promises that your asked to make which is basicly to stay with the woman until death does them apart, and then he asks the same to the woman, and once she says “I do” then they are married. So the priest has to play a part in the wedding otherwise a marriage does not take place.
I mean I have had girlfriends in the past and even a fiance and my attitude towards women even before I was a Catholic was that I just wanted to be with one forever. But I never married any of them, that is a priest never asked us the promises or what a priest is suppossed to ask. But I also wonder just “what if” I did marry one? But the only woman a priest ever asked me to make promises to is the woman I am with now. But then again I can’t remember every single word the priest said to us on our wedding day, so I think what if I didn’t marry her or what if I married another woman in the past but cannot remember it?
But whenever I have sex with my wife, touch her and kiss her I feel no shame before God, I will not confess sins to God and a priest for doing these acts with her since our wedding day, her last name is mine, and I have the wedding certificate. So I must be married to her right?
Please don’t laugh or make fun of me even though this does sound very ridiculous but I need help! Medicine or phycologists does not work. I just need to be sure what a true marriage is and that my wife really is my wife in God’s eyes. I love Him above all creation but every time I tell myself things like all of this my mind finds other excuses to go against anything that would comfort me. I’ll be back.