Thank you all for praying for us.
Life does seem very unfair at this point, however I can do nothing else but pray and hope.
I trust that if I explain the situation, you will at least try to understand rather than judging immediately.
As some of you know, my fiance is schitzophrenic.
He is a wonderful man that I am looking forward to spending the rest of my life with, however he does have some mental health issues that we have been working with psychologists to manage.
He was arrested on January 2006 for crimes that I cannot believe that he would have commited in a rational mind. and he faces serious consequenses as a result.
He is being charged with possession of child pornography and distribution.
I’m sure most of you have already made up your decision about him, however there are other issues at play here. DF has auditory hallucinations, paranoid delusions and just plain delusions from time to time. Most of the time you would never know he has them, hower in times like these you are reminded. Most of the time his symptoms get worse when he is under alot of stress. At the time, he was not on medication and under sever stress. I am not making excuses for him, but I know him better than anyone else and I know he is not a threat to anyone but himself. He his delusions have lead him to think that he works for the government from time to time, and I am certain that this incident was most likely part of his delusion, however he cannot confirm nor deny this since we are not married and I may be called to testify on his behalf.
Not for one second, and not with one cell in my body, would I think that he ever would have done this with an alterior motive (perverse or predetory), howeve the rest of our lives are at stake now. He faces up to 10 years in prison and registering with the state of NJ as a sex offender.
He has recently decided to plea not guilty, however if he looses, the judge that would be handling his case is more likely to give him the max than the minimum.
Even if he is found not guilty by reason of diminished capacity, he must register and our life together is in jeopardy.
Since the arrest, he has been working very closely with his psychologist and psychiatrist, to get the proper medication for his condition. He is medication resistent, meaning his body metabolizes the medication before it has a chance to take affect and as a result he is on very high dosages of medication, way above the FDA approved usages. It has taken us so long to get someone to take his mental health seriously and now he stands to loose everything again. His job, his life and his sanity. It is very hard for me to see him in so much pain.
all he sees right now is that he caused this situation, and that he has ruined everything. I am afraid for him, if he is found guilty. I don’t think he will make it. And the most frustrating part is, that he can’t even find a lawyer that is equipped to handle his case. Right now a friend of the family (real estate lawyer) is handleing the case, but he needs a criminal lawyer and no one will look at the case without 7500.00 retainer and 300.00 an hour.
We have looked into a public defender but according to the court he makes too much money.
We have looked into mental health advocacy but they do not handle criminal cases even if this really is a mental health issue that caused a criminal issue.
everything seems to be working agains us, however everything tells me to fight this. Every time I pray, i feel like God is telling me, be strong, fight, everything will work out, but then something else happens and it makes me feel like I am fighting a loosing battle.